Once I learned that Kal Penn was campaigning for Barack Obama, that sealed the deal. You know who Kal Penn is, right? He played frat boy/stoner Taj Mahal Badalandabad in the movie "Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj" and cheetah-riding stoner Kumar in "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle," perhaps the best movie ever made. So, if Kumar is for Obama, I'm for Obama!
Endorsements are the wacky false coin of politics. Because they cut both ways, right? You could argue that Ted Kennedy's endorsement helped Obama on Super Tuesday, although the evidence, especially among Hispanic voters in California, says differently. Worse yet, should Obama win the Democratic nomination, Ted Kennedy's name is catnip for Republican mudslingers. Sample attack ad:
"Who's for Obama?" the script will read. "He has been endorsed by Senator Ted Kennedy, by the dope-smoking guy from 'Harold & Kumar,' and by the Guantanamo detainees' lawyers who want to free terrorists so they can bomb our shopping malls." Yes, the lawyers endorsed Obama, too. And yes, you might be forgiven for thinking this column is just a sneaky endorsement for Penn's forthcoming movie, "Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay."
Locally, endorsements were a reliable contrary indicator. That rogue's gallery of former Republican governors really put John McCain over the top, didn't they? Paul Cellucci? Wasn't he flacking for some gambling company? Jane Swift? Who she? At least novelist Bill Weld, last seen here pushing a cockamamie scheme to privatize the Tobin Bridge, endorsed the winner-turned-loser, Mitt Romney. Maybe Weld should have persuaded Romney to sell shares in his presidential campaign. I would have made a killing. I took a short position 11 months ago.
Across the aisle, Deval Patrick's embrace of Obama failed to hold off the Hillary stampede. I think that was a serious wrong call for Deval. I had assumed he would run off to D.C. in January 2009 to become attorney general in a hypothetical Clinton administration. That would be a huge win-win, for Patrick and for the Commonwealth.
Weld was hardly alone in his big Romney love. The vast, right-wing, talk show conspiracy threw its support behind Romney, too. A fat lot of good that did. Kooky luminaries such as Ross Perot and Tom Tancredo backed our former governor, as did such mega-stars of the entertainment firmament as Donnie and Marie Osmond. They are from Utah. It's a Mormon thing.
McCain has the oldsters, that's for sure. World's Oldest Human Wilford Brimley supports McCain, as does the World's Most Elderly Elder Statesman, Henry Kissinger. Seventies-era action heroes Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger will surely add some youthful panache to the Arizona senator's campaign.
Which raises a question: Where do endorsers go when their horse comes up lame? What will happen to the "Thirty Leading Economists" who came out for John Edwards? Being economists, they can always change their minds, I suppose. Bo Derek is available; she came out for Rudy Giuliani, as did Adam Sandler. Maybe that explains a few things.
Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton still has her cringe-worthy klatch of backers, e.g. Barbra Streisand ("Legendary filmmaker, artist, and Democratic activist, Barbra Streisand, today endorsed Hillary Clinton for President," her own press release proclaimed), rapper 50 Cent, and Martha Stewart. The cool kids are with Obama, of course: George Clooney, Herbie Hancock, Jakob Dylan, Stevie Wonder, Scarlett Johansson, and John Kerry.
Just kidding on that last one.
Being with Obama is like joining the right club, everyone wants to get in. Former Washington mayor and famous ex-con Marion Barry has endorsed the Illinois senator, who is doubtless thrilled. Dennis Kucinich's endorsers, including porn publisher Larry Flynt and Sean Penn, are now free. I can imagine the e-mails emanating from the Obama camp: "Larry, Sean, please endorse Hillary. We are begging you."
HOUSEKEEPING NOTE: I am taking a leave to finish a book. I will resume the column on March 26.
Alex Beam is a Globe columnist. His e-dress is beam@globe.com
