Sally Struthers
Archie Bunker's little girl puts on a big show on Newbury Street
Sally Struthers is a walking one-woman show. And when her actress friend Annette Miller joins in, it's a regular three-ring circus.
On a steamy afternoon on Commonwealth Avenue, Struthers gets out of a limo in front of Miller's townhouse and announces that it's too hot to walk a block to Newbury Street. So Struthers, Miller, this reporter, and a photographer pile into the car for a short but memorable air-conditioned ride. We are all told to look away (except for the driver) while she rummages through her chicken-shaped purse. She pulls out a rubber egg and clucks. Next out of her bag of tricks comes a hot-dog-size pen, followed by a paper fan that she uses on herself, despite the air conditioning.
The star of stage, film, and TV (most notably as the unforgettable Gloria Bunker-Stivic in the '70s hit "All in the Family") has about an hour before heading to Waltham to start rehearsing for "Annie." After the clucking, though, it's hard to imagine her as Miss Hannigan, the cranky, worn-down orphanage matron.
Miller, who met Struthers in the '80s when they starred on Broadway in "The Odd Couple" and is currently in Shakespeare & Company's "The Ladies Man," is along for the ride. She also wants to show off her son Bruce's Newbury Street establishment, the Barbershop Lounge. It's a slick place with brick walls, lots of red and black, and a pool table.
"What can you do for me?" asks Struthers as she plops down in a chair. When Struthers finds out the lounge is just for men, she asks: "What if I cross-dressed and came in for a treatment? I could use some hair removal. After 35 you get hair in places . . ." Miller jumps in: "That's more information than we need to know."
It's time for pool, and judging from the rapid succession of balls she shoots into the pockets, the 5-foot-1-inch Struthers is almost as familiar with pool cues as she is with acting ones. While Miller is getting a lesson from Struthers, she asks her friend to talk about a game of pool played at Miller's Lenox home. "I was a little in my cups, as they say," begins Struthers, "and I think I danced on the pool table. I sent them money to resurface the table."
After the game, Struthers pulls some clever stuff from - no, not from her chicken purse, this time it's from her comedy repertoire: "If Tuesday Weld married Hal March's son, she'd be Tuesday March the second." We walk by a customer getting a haircut, and Miller says: "I know you didn't think you'd get this entertainment." The amused gentleman replies to Struthers: "I love it. I watched you for years." After Struthers tells co-owner Ronnie Luccio, "It would be a good idea to have a ladies day," she walks over to the same customer and asks the stylist why she cut a big hole in the back of his hair. Laughter.
On the way back to the limo, Struthers tells a young woman handing out fliers on Newbury Street how beautiful she is. In the car, it's time for humid-weather jokes: "When I got up this morning I applied 40 years of natural beauty and it's all gone now." Out of nowhere comes: "If a turtle loses its shell, is he homeless or naked?" (Hear the rim shot?) Miller goes on about turtles in Lenox. Next from Struthers: "Since all Hooters waitresses have big breasts, shouldn't all
On the way into L'Attitude gallery and sculpture garden on Newbury Street, a woman driving a Boston Transportation Department van notices Struthers and yells "Hi." Oddly enough, this reporter recognizes the woman as her old friend Marty Dineen, who jumps out of the van to chat with her new friend Struthers. Inside the gallery, Miller tells her buddy to try on a ring they both admire, and there's a back and forth about who should put it on. An elephant sculpture elicits elephant sounds from Struthers, followed by resistance when it's suggested that she go out on the terrace.
Guess who's waiting outside with the driver, who has a primo parking space? Traffic supervisor Dineen. No parking tickets for Sally Struthers on this day - theater tickets are more her style.
"Annie," presented by the Reagle Players, runs through July 19 at the Robinson Theater in Waltham. 781-891-5600. reagle players.com
