The discreet charm of Republican women

Who can forget my warm (rhetorical) embrace of first lady Laura Bush, published Feb. 6, 2001, barely two weeks after she set foot inside 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.? There was nothing about her I didn't like. Everyone knows I have a thing for librarians, and if Mrs. Bush wants to Clorox the shelves in her spare time, more power to her. As a young girl, my mother-in-law was instructed to block (shape) sweaters, in idle moments. It's a lady thing.

"The husband will have a rough ride," I wrote back then, "but I think Laura is going to be fine." A rare prognostication that turned out to be true! She has been fine. She wasn't elected to co-manage the country, and she hasn't. The intellectual elite gave her the finger when she tried to organize a White House literary symposium; it's their loss. She could have insisted on a vulgar White House wedding for her daughter, Johnson-Nixon style, and she didn't.

It is true that she's filled out a bit in the past eight years, but you know what? So have I.

Unbeknownst to me, I had a partner in my Laura-philia. Writing in Salon magazine in 2004, novelist ("Prep") Curtis Sittenfeld, a self-professed "flaming liberal," addressed the "love that dares not speak its name." Ostensibly reviewing a biography of Laura, Sittenfeld went all in for a woman whose "stealth independence" she admired. Everyone knows that the false coin of the political realm is "authenticity," or "fauxthenticity," as many now call it. Laura's winning charm, Sittenfeld wrote, "is that she doesn't aggressively demonstrate her authenticity," and I couldn't agree more.

In the Salon article, Sittenfeld suggested that Laura Bush's life has the grand outlines of a novel - a novel that Sittenfeld has just published, "American Wife." I am not sure that this was a book crying out to be written, but this remains a free country. In her Globe review, Heller McAlpin took this same tack: "Well, we still have free speech," she wrote, gently chiding a novel that like the Bush administration seemed to go on too long.

Now there are two Republican, female archetypes in the popular imagination, as Sarah Palin-mania sweeps the green rooms of the nation's talk shows. I like Palin, if only because she infuriates the very people I find most narrow-minded and infuriating. Would Sittenfeld's weakness for Laura Bush translate into warm feelings for Palin, and the discreet charm of Republican women, I asked?

"I have to say I find Sarah Palin neither discreet nor charming," Sittenfeld answered me in an e-mail. "Her life is definitely worthy of a novel, but that doesn't make her qualified to be vice president. Watching her convention speech, I kept thinking she has the confidence of the non-introspective person. And it does seem like if people voted for Bush because he was someone they'd like to have a beer with, they're considering voting for her because she's someone with whom they'd like to go hunting/attend a hockey game/serve on the PTA. But haven't we learned anything since 2000?!"

As they say on the Supreme Court, I partially concur. Palin does have the confidence of the non-introspective person. Of course, the Hamlets of American politics, such as Adlai Stevenson and Mario Cuomo, never get to be king. Successful, female, Democratic politicians are like affirmative-action babies; they always feel that the story of their rise must validate the core myths of feminism that they hold so dear. Hillary Clinton, superbly qualified to be president, came off as a harridan. Nancy Pelosi, astonishingly, is one of the most unpopular politicians in the country.

It's easier to be a prominent Republican woman, because you can unabashedly tap into the older, comforting myths. Beauty queen; SuperMom; Diana the huntress; PTO nutcracker; whoever picked Palin must have been a genius. So she's not exactly sure what the Bush Doctrine is - who cares? The whole point of electing a new president is to get rid of the Bush Doctrine once and for all. Newspaper editorialists who cackle at her creationist leanings might want to look at some poll numbers. God still trumps Darwin, last time I checked.

Is there a line connecting Laura Bush to Sarah Palin? I think so. It is the line of unglamorous people who didn't go to the right schools and who never had famous friends. If only Matt Damon would promise to trash Sarah Palin every day between now and Nov. 4, the election would be McCain's to lose.

Alex Beam is a Globe columnist. His e-dress is beam@globe.com.