Working the generational divide
It's inevitable: Sooner or later, most baby boomers are going to work for younger bosses. No matter how successful or talented - or unsuccessful or untalented - many will still end up taking their orders from those 10, 15, or even 20 years younger.
Sometimes, this is by choice. We could have been promoted but opted out. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes those younger bosses are mature beyond their years. Other times they're arrogant jerks like Ryan on "The Office." But he got his: He was caught cooking the books and taken out in handcuffs. The boy wonder ended right back where he started: doing grunt work for his old - and older - boss.
Ideally, the May-December work relationship works well from both perspectives. Ideally both sides see it as a partnership. The younger bosses, if mature, gain insight from the elders, respecting their experience and advice. They don't have to reinvent the wheel with them or micromanage. They can allow more freedom and flexibility, knowing that the workers have "been there, done that," know where the land mines are, and have learned from past mistakes. Older employees - if they're valued - are more secure and play an important role on the team. They can, in fact, mentor the younger boss, helping him or her avoid unforeseeable pitfalls they might not see on their own.
After all, many baby boomers once were younger bosses themselves and should be sensitive to that role.
Still, it can be a delicate balancing act requiring tact on both sides. Some boomers might think their younger boss is heavy-handed, inflexible, and arbitrary, while the boss may consider the boomer out of date and over the hill.
The lose-lose situation occurs if the boomer makes the younger boss feel -or, worse, look - like an idiot, or the boss condescends to his elder.
Here's what my husband, who once upon a time was a younger boss, advises: "What seemed to work was to let the older guys use their experience and to give them a lot of latitude in how they accomplished their goals. Focus on outcomes, seek their advice on issues where history and perspective is needed. Be very clear and firm on goals, but not so worried about methods. Never criticize in public."
When he was 29, he oversaw a team of people in their 50s. The experience was mostly good, except for one guy who basically wouldn't talk to him. My husband spoke to the employee about this, and then the man went to a higher boss to air his grievances. He ended up getting transferred to Malaysia. "My bosses couldn't stand him," my husband says.
The recession has brought the generational divide in the workplace into sharp relief. Boston-area psychiatrist Ned Hallowell recently gave a talk on how people feel disconnected in a "crazy busy" world. A man came up to him afterward. "I'm 52 years old and I have never felt so alienated at work. It is because these kids are just . . . different," he said. "They're texting and IM-ing before they even say, 'Hello, how are you?' "
At another talk, Hallowell heard a guy in his 20s say to his friend: "The problem with the boomers is they just won't get out of the way! I'm so tired of hearing about them. Will they ever disappear?"
Hallowell's advice for the younger boss: "A little empathy, respect, and understanding go such a long way. Instead of saying, 'You old fogey, you don't know how to text,' say, 'Let me show you how to do it.' "
Hallowell - a boomer himself - believes the burden is on the boss to make the relationship work. When workers feel devalued, they'll develop an attitude and be less productive, he says. "It's so easy to fix: 'I want you to know I respect your experience and you have a lot to teach me. Please let me know if I come off in a way that's difficult for you.' "
Young bosses might also bear in mind that they themselves are some day likely to be older employees reporting to a young boss.
Perhaps the worst scenario is being the oldest person in the office. When you don't know what the others are talking about - be it pop culture or the latest hot spot - it's bound to be lonely and embarrassing. As the joke goes, you know you're getting old when you hear your favorite song in an elevator.
