An ounce of pot does not a thousand joints make.
Dear Gerry Leone: I sympathize. Truly, I do. The state chose to reform its marijuana laws by the half measure of decriminalization of small amounts rather than full legalization, and, no matter how tiny your stash is, you still can’t spell “decriminalization” without “criminal.” But, honestly, as Middlesex district attorney, you’re going to have to do a better job making your case than you have done. When we voted in Question 2 – a.k.a. “The Snack Food Support Act of 2008” – a while back, we did so as an informed, if somewhat slow-moving, electorate uniquely aware of the subject at hand. (There are a lot of us who still own Wishbone Ash albums, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.) Nobody . . . er . . . blew smoke in our eyes. Therefore, your plaintive pleas of late have fallen on deaf ears or, at least, ears muffled by earbuds. At one point, you asked, “Can’t anyone get through the day without a drink or a drug?” I believe that, in the former case, the United States of America answered the question rather definitively between the years 1920 and 1933. As to the latter case, there are several large pharmaceutical companies that would like a word with you. But you also argued that “an ounce of marijuana can make a thousand joints.” Really? Where? In the Land of the Lost? You’d have to have leaves the size of a phone book to make this true. Do yourself a favor and relax. Have a potato chip.
Charles P. Pierce can be reached at email@example.com.