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A few fun ideas for new Kentucky attractions

By Charles P. Pierce
January 9, 2011

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Dear Steve Beshear: As you may or may not know, a while back I paid a visit to the Creation Museum, which was built in that part of Kentucky that we occasional visitors like to call “up by Cincinnati.” I enjoyed the dinosaur with the saddle. I also enjoyed the animatronic Moses who spoke in a dialect that I believe was concocted for a high school production of Fiddler on the Roof staged by a Christian academy somewhere in South Dakota. Now, though, I see, as governor, you’ve given your blessing – and some fat tax incentives – to those same people so they can build a Noah’s Ark theme park. (I particularly like the proposed 100-foot Tower of Babel. Will there be a restaurant? Will the waiter understand my order?) I have to say I’m not surprised, since Kentucky is not unfamiliar with acts of public devotion. After all, your state already has Churchill Downs and Keeneland, where the name of the Deity is frequently invoked, particularly at the quarter-pole, albeit often in vain. Well, now, one loopy religious entertainment complex is a fluke. Two is a development strategy. So don’t stop here. Go full-metal Scripture: the Walls of Jericho Casino, where, every time a player hits a jackpot at the slots, somebody blows a trumpet and a wall falls down. Out along the highway would be a good place for the Sodom and Gomorrah Adult Entertainment Complex. Brimstone falls every day at 6, just like the volcano eruptions out at the Mirage.

Send comments to cpierce@globe.com.

  • January 9, 2011 cover
  • Jan. 9, 2011 Magazine cover