A kinder reveille
Wake up and smell the positivity.
Dear Todd Brabender: And they say American entrepreneurial innovation is dead? Hah, says I, startling people on my commuter-rail car. I have in my hand your press release announcing a new product – My Wake Up Call Motivational Alarm Clock Message. “Research,” you tell me, has proved that if we arise with a positive “mind-set” in the morning, we’re all better off. So, rather than a buzzer, or the latest bummer from some news station, for a little under 20 clams, you’ll provide us with a month of messages from “well-known wellness and motivational experts” to make it harder for reality to harsh our waking mellow. Me? I wake up to the local progressive-talk station. If I doze off, I am awakened a few minutes later by a member of the sales staff of the local progressive-talk station, who comes to my door and personally thanks me for listening. I also spend a considerable amount of time on the road, which means I set hotel wake-up calls, often for early in the morning. On these, I am usually awakened by a lobster-shift teenager who sounds more dead asleep than I was. Planes are missed. Apparently, the mastermind behind the motivational morning messages you’re promoting is one Robin (Boudreau) Palmer, whom your materials describe as a “former Broadway star,” which ought to be enough to get my attention, and is. Can she get me seats for Cats?What do you mean it closed? Back to bed for me.
Charles P. Pierce can be reached at email@example.com.