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DEAR MARGO

Parents’ acceptance — and ambivalence

November 22, 2011

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Dear Margo: I’ve been dating my partner for nearly two years long-distance (online dating product), and we both knew early on we’d found ”the one.” This is a same-sex relationship, and my parents (and hers) have always been completely accepting and supportive of my sexual orientation. By all accounts, they love my partner, who is successful, beautiful, family-oriented and very warm toward them. Well, after all these months of frequent flier miles and building a solid relationship, we’ve decided to take the next step of moving in together in anticipation of, eventually, marriage. Because she is more established in her career than am I, the logical thing is for me to relocate to her city - a mere one-hour flight away from home. The problem is my family’s rather schizo response to this: It is both indifferent (”That’s nice, honey, could you pass the salad?”) and guilt-tripping (”Your grandparents are probably going to die soon, and they’ll sure miss you.”).

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