The hazy, crazy, anything-but-lazy days of summer

For parents and teens, the first few weeks are the most challenging

Anna Wilson (left) and her sister Meghan check out a social networking website as their mother, Deirdre Wilson, enjoys her morning coffee at home in Beverly. (Jonathan Wiggs/Globe Staff)

Deirdre Wilson calls it the Dead Zone. The first week or two of summer after school ends and before family life reorganizes itself around kids' camps, vacation trips, and other quasi-structured routines.

"Everyone seems at a loss for a couple of weeks," says Wilson, a senior editor at Boston Parents' Paper and the mother of two girls, ages 18 and 15. "The kids are at home. They stay up late and sleep in late. They spend too much time on the computer or watching TV. For parents of tweens and early teens, this is real panic time."

Wilson, who lives in Beverly and works in Boston, is particularly concerned about her 15-year-old, who's too young to hold a full-time summer job yet old enough to fashion her own social agenda. "I have to make sure that if she wants to invite friends over, their parents know I'm not at home," says Wilson.

She's not complaining, mind you, merely voicing a concern that's reverberating through many households at this time of year. School vacation, a nearly bottomless summertime treat from one perspective, can seem like just another knotty family-management puzzle to a job-saddled parent. These early summer days are long and ostensibly lazy. School will be out for the next two months. Much like the beginning and end of the typical school day, the early and late stages of summer vacation do not always catch busy families at their best or most organized.

"These couple of weeks are special because it's 24/7 transition time," says Nina Dickerman, a parenting educator with Families First, a Cambridge-based resource center for parents and children. "Research shows that kids thrive on routine, and this takes them out of their routine. Things get more chaotic, so it's important families acknowledge that and come up with strategies that work for everyone."

Parents, like school kids liberated from alarm clocks and homework, can get lulled into false expectations, according to Dickerman. They may think, for instance, that being on vacation themselves means sleeping late and taking the day as it comes. That rarely works in real life, however, observes Dickerman. Whether they're toddlers home from day care or teens text-messaging "I'm bored!" to anyone who'll listen, kids still demand attention.

While not quite as panicked as Wilson, Amanda Thibert of Marblehead, a nurse practitioner with Harvard Vanguard, admits this transition period is challenging. Thibert arranges her work life so she can spend July and August with her two children, ages 12 and 9, at her family's house on Nantucket, while her husband commutes back and forth during the week. Island life has its own rhythms and regimens, Thibert says, but the school-free days leading up to July Fourth are relatively shapeless.

"I love this time for my kids, because it's their chance to reacquaint with friends and not be so scheduled," she says. "For me to shift from scheduled to unscheduled is stressful, though."

"The best way to combat this is to have a routine, to go over the day ahead and making plans the night before," advises Dickerman. "For many parents, that means being a little creative. Boston is a city with plenty of free events, like summer concerts, to check out. Or it might mean doing an art project at home. But you need to have a plan."

In the lull before her 17-year-old son starts his summer job later this month, Georgia Orcutt is taking an unconventional tack: encouraging him to watch as many movies as possible, alone or with friends.

"I've decided to stop nagging him to get out of the house [and] lose the guilt about anyone in New England spending crisp, sunny days indoors," says Orcutt, an associate editor with Dominion Parenting Media. Netflix is key, she says. Having ordered the first series of films (e.g. "Once," "Good Will Hunting") herself, Orcutt helped set the cinematic bar high. "Now he's in charge of the queue, hunkering down with Rod Serling, Alfred Hitchcock, and Clint Eastwood, among others," she says. "And it's truly amazing how many baby carrots and celery sticks kids will eat while watching movies."

Like many other parents, Leigh Fontes of North Attleborough welcomes the idea of enjoying more free playtime with her children, two boys 10 and 8 and a girl, 6.

"At home, the television goes off at 9 a.m. and stays dark until the evening hours," says Fontes, a part-time gymnastics teacher at her town's YMCA. Last week she helped build a backyard fort with her kids. Later this month, her boys will do a week or two of town recreation camp, filling the gap until a family vacation trip somewhere - time and location yet to be determined.

"I love the unstructured time, because I don't get to see them a lot" when school is in session, she says. By the time August rolls around, "I'm ready to get back on a schedule, though," Fontes adds.

Joseph P. Kahn can be reached at jkahn@globe.com.