The war against Christmas toys
Ah, Christmastime. Store tramplings, nervous breakdowns, prickly clumps of holly showing up where you least expect them. And the annual, mindless War on Toys. It makes a fella feel gosh-darned sentimental.
Every year, like clockwork, the family of Boston lawyer Edward Swartz stages a holiday-time press conference, decrying the "10 most dangerous toys" in the stores. Every year, like beaten, groveling, guileless dogs, the media give the Swartz's outfit, World Against Toys Causing Harm (WATCH), free publicity for its dubious claims. That must be because there is so little happening in the world.
This year is no exception. WATCH "fearlessly exposed potentially dangerous toys to the general public," the nonprofit's website proclaims. What are the 10 toys to avoid this Christmas? Beware the Play-a-Sound Book with Cuddly Pooh! Shun the Spiderman Adjustable Toy Skates! For heaven's sakes, don't let your children play with Kenscott's 4-foot-wide inflatable Giga Ball! "Children as young as 4 years old are encouraged to 'crawl inside' this colorful inflatable ball, in order to 'spin, tumble, [and] bounce,' " the Swartzes write, adding: "WATCH out!"
The Giga Ball sounds like a lot of fun, I suggest to James Swartz, director of WATCH and son of the founder. "Of course they are fun. We don't dispute that," he says. "Our point there is that people should at least think about how it can be used in the real world."
To be fair, the Swartzes aren't the only killjoys roaming the aisles. For a number of years, US PIRG (Public Interest Research Group) has been staging its own Christmastime publicity-gathering enterprise, "Trouble in Toyland." It publishes a slightly shorter list of hazardous toys - e.g., Littlest Pet Shop, a lead key chain that would be a bad idea to swallow - and warns: "Simply because a toy does not appear on this list does not mean that it is safe."
One can never be too vigilant. Given that the Swartzes have been putting on their little charade since 1973, and given that the Consumer Product Safety Commission has been regulating and recalling hazardous toys for well over 30 years, is it just possible that toys are safer now? "There has been a lot of progress made in terms of awareness," Swartz says, "but toys are just as dangerous. A lot of the same type of hazards appear on the shelves over and over again. There is a lot of work to be done."
There is so much work to be done that a few years ago the Swartzes decided to sink their hooks into summer as well. "Summer itself is a time of outdoor fun and activity but also of peril," is the WATCH-word. So they have laid on an additional press event bewailing the many hazards that await children during the dangerous months of unsupervised leisure: campfires, water guns, tipping soccer goals, trampolines, and . . . bleachers. "Between 1980 and 2003, 19 people died from injuries sustained after falling from bleachers," their website states.
But aren't these people mostly drunk, adult, Red Sox fans? There's nothing in this data that refers to children. "Whether they are children or not, there are still summer safety issues," Swartz says. Something tells me he doesn't want to hear about my trips to New Hampshire to buy slingshots for my sons.
WATCH: taking the fun out of Christmas - and summer - one toy at a time.
Redefining Christmas
A more welcome, albeit short-lived, Christmastime tradition was the full-page ad that Greenwich, Conn.-based rich guy Ray Dalio took out in major newspapers decrying Yuletide commercialism. "No sooner does Thanksgiving end, than the loathsome shopping season begins - a monthlong compulsion to buy something, anything, for anyone," read Dalio's ad in last year's Globe, Wall Street Journal, Chicago Tribune, and other papers. In lieu of mobbing the malls, Dalio urged you to "give people donations to their favorite charity. And request that they give donations to your favorite charities. A lot more money would go to people who need it."
Dalio, a Harvard Business School grad who captains the hedge fund Bridgewater Associates, spent $2 million on his "redefining Christmas" campaign last year. This year, not so much. Instead of newspaper ads, "they opted for radio," publicist Marianne O'Hare tells me. "They had limited money to spend." Dalio commissioned six 15-second radio spots to run on some nationally syndicated shows and bought some sponsorship messages on NPR.
Of the switch from newspaper to radio, O'Hare tells me: "Don't take it personally." But I do.
Alex Beam is a Globe columnist. His e-dress is beam@globe.com. 