Once upon a trying time
It's the question every parent dreads. "Mommy, what's a collateralized debt obligation?" Who wants to be outed as an ignoramus by a kid? But with economic news blanketing the airwaves, such conversations are becoming almost impossible to avoid. Perhaps we should update children's books in time for the holidays.
Goodnight,
The Cat in the Hat Bought on a Visa that was Out to the Max: A feline shopaholic tries to lead two latchkey children astray as he Zapposes up a storm. The children's pet fish preaches the dangers of paying off only the credit card minimum.
Guess How Much I Owe You: Little Nutbrown Hare tries to impress his father about the enormity of the debt he's carrying, but Big Nutbrown Hare always carries just that much more.
If You Give a Bear Stearns a Bailout . . . : A delightful exploration of the cascading demands that follow a seemingly benign rescue of the investment bank.
Harold and the Red Ink: A gentle story about a boy who imagines an entire world of industry and governmental failures.
Lassie Can't Come Home: A boy and his collie are separated when the family sells Lassie because they can't afford her medical bills. Lassie fights her way back home, only to find her owner gone, his house foreclosed upon.
The Pauper and the Other Pauper: A classic tale of switched identities, in which both boys learn that social class distinctions can disappear as quickly as retirement savings.
The Little Engine That Couldn't Without a Multi-Billion-Dollar Bailout: Three little automakers say they can't climb the mountain of labor and retiree costs and foreign competition alone, but a chorus of voices show them they need to help themselves.
Alan Greenspan and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day: Readers of all ages will identify with the former chairman of the Federal Reserve, as his day in front of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform goes from bad to worse.
Incurious George: A man is snatched from his home in Texas and taken to live in a big white house. Chaos ensues.
Beth Teitell is the author of "Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth" (William Morrow), a takedown of our society's obsession with looking forever young. 