How can I help with homework?
Here's a Boston.com reader question to Child Caring writer Barbara Meltz:
Question: My older daughter is in 1st grade. I work 4 days a week and we usually get home right around 6 p.m. Between making/serving dinner and bath (some nights), when am I supposed to help my 1st grader with her homework? She is struggling a bit with reading, and I would love to spend the extra time with her, but I just don't know when. She is usually so tired at night, she gets frustrated very easily. Any suggestions?
Barbara Meltz: I wish I could tell you to relax, but I know that the pressures you feel are real, and it's true (I think) that the habits that get established early can be long-lasting, so it's nice if parents can set aside a time and place for children's homework.
On the other hand, this is first grade! A first-grader should not have a lot of it (more than 5 or 10 minutes a night is a lot). Talk to the teacher early in the year (don't wait for back-to-school night) and let her know your concerns so you can hear from her what she expects from your daughter and from you.
Meanwhile, reading to her every day is the single most important thing you can do and I would urge you to do whatever you can to make time in your routine for that. After that, it would be showing respect for the homework by establishing a routine for when/where it happens. It sounds like you are really worried, so one thing you might want to do it not wait for school to start to try to estasblish a new routine.
To read more from Barbara Meltz's latest Q&A, click here. Barbara sits in again for questions on Monday, September 16 at Boston.com
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about the authors
Lylah M. Alphonse is a member of the Boston Globe Magazine staff and mom and stepmom to five kids ranging in age from toddler to teen. In addition to writing for Child Caring, she also writes about juggling a full-time career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day, and about everything else at Write. Edit. Repeat. When she's not glued to the computer or solving a kid-related crisis, she's in the kitchen or, occasionally, asleep.
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Barbara F. Meltz is a freelance writer, parenting consultant and author of "Put Yourself in Their Shoes; Understanding How Your Children See the World." A former Globe staff writer, she wrote the weekly "Child Caring" column for 19 years. That column earned her many awards, including the 2008 American Psychological Association Print Excellence award. Barbara is available as a speaker for parent groups.
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As a first grade teacher, all I ever ask of my parents is to read with their child at least ten minutes every evening. Sitting in bed reading a story is a great way to end their day and spend some quality time with them. Make sure if they are reading to you, that the book is appropriate for their reading level. Take turns reading a page to each other, don't make it a stressful experience, if you have a younger child, let your first grader read to them.