When can my daughter shave her armpits?

Barbara, your advice is waaaay off. Why does absolutely everything related to a girl's development need to be seen as something potentially dangerous? Why can't it be seen as something natural?

Would you tell a father to keep his 11-year-old son from shaving his face for another six months because it might "rushing" the son (into what, I ask)? Probably not. I don't see much difference here between the two.

ARRRGH! Armpit shaving should start when armpit hair appears! What has age to do with it? No preteen or teen girl wants to go around with hairy armpits - it will just subject her to teasing and increased chance of body odor. My mother was one of those types that couldn't deal with her little girl growing up. She forbid me to shave my armpits and legs and it was mortifying in dance class when my teacher took me aside for a little talk and said if I wanted to wear sleeveless leotards that I had to shave my armpits. And I was the laughingstock of the 8th grade school trip when my hairy legs were revealed. I borrowed a razor to shave them and got chastized by the girl for not cleaning it properly afterward. Then I was worried sick my mother would scream at me for doing it. Mothers, don't freak out about your girls becoming women. Just matter of factly accept it and show them what to do. Don't wait for them to ask because they might be embarrassed or afraid. Keep in touch with other mothers of girls the same age and try to figure out what is going on.

I totally disagree with Barbara's answer to this question. I don't have a problem with waiting to the age of 12 to let your daughter shave her legs. But, waiting to shave her armpits until she's older is rediculous. Armpit hair shaving is part of puberty and is usually the last sign that she is about to get her first period. This is the perfect time to help your daughter learn how to care for her body as a young lady. Shaving her armpits, wearing deoderant, cleaning her body, and taking care of her menstrating needs are personal grooming responsibilities not growing up to fast. Girls are getting their periods much earlier now (my daughter got hers at 10) so unfortunately they need to start personal grooming at an earlier age. We can't just put it off so they can stay young longer. Would you put off the use of deoderant too?

I don't have kids of my own, but this post brought back memories of my own childhood! When I was 11 or 12 my mother kept telling me I was too young to shave my legs. I disagreed, and my solution was to sneak use of my dad's razor. (This was back in the days of large flat dark blue razor blades that one inserted into a holder, which gives you some idea of how old I am :) ) My dad noticed that his razor blades were getting dull faster than before, and asked me if I knew anything about it. I hemmed and hawed and he explained that he didn't care if I shaved my legs or not, as long as I didn't use his razor. I suspect he spoke to my mom about it because there weren't any more objections to my buying my own equipment. Anyway, it doesn't seem to have led me down the road to perdition.

I thought it would be interesting, as the original question poser, to let you all know how I chose to deal with the situation. After stalling through the summer, I finally decided over Labor Day weekend to just allow the shaving, of both armpits and legs. My daughter mentioned that her camp friend razzed her about her hairy legs, and she was going to start dance and gymnastics and have her arms in the air all the time. She was embarrassed about the hair, and I decided (after talking to another mom whose opinion I often seek) that shaving wouldn't, in and of itself, cause my daughter to grow beyond her years. She and I bought razors together, we had an instructional session (where I was able to dispossess her of her incorrect assumption that one needed to use separate razors on armpits and legs!), and all in all she is great, she's proud of herself, and she hasn't suddenly started dating boys or assuming she's allowed to do things that would truly be inappropriate for her age.

Unbelievable. I can't believe a mother would want to subject her daughter to ridicule and self-consciousness in some misguided attempt to try and keep her a baby/child. More amazingly, I can't believe a columnist would go along with it.

People, the time to shave is when it appears and your daughter asks. Pretty common sense advice.

Good going Allie!! I have come up with the same issue and my daughter is only just 10! last spring we had to do something with that arm pit hair, and a few times since. We can hold off on the legs for now....She is far from even ready to "grow up" emotionally even though her body is growing up. I think to be able to help teach her about proper grooming is important and I want her to feel confident and normal and happy.

A little common sense goes a long way. The advice given was wayyy off.
I was in the 7th grade before I started shaving my legs and armpits because I was afraid to ask. Kids had been teasing me for a few years because I had hairy legs. It got to the point where I just refused to wear shorts no matter how hot it was. I was mortified.
My younger sister solved the problem by being bolder than I. She grabbed my Mom's razor and accidentally shaved a thick chunk of skin off. After than Mom decided she'd better teach us how to shave correctly and bought us our own razors. It was wonderful to be able to wear shorts again and not have to worry about being picked on, and it had no effect what-so-ever on my level of maturity. If anything, it let me go back to being a carefree kid and not worrying as much about some of the changes I was stuck with anyway.

I thought the columnist's advice was wayyyyy off, so kudos to Allie. I think what you did sounds like a thoughtful and responsible way to handle the situation. It can be very embarrassing for early bloomers, especially girls, and kids' teasing can be merciless. By being open and communicating with your daughter about this, you are also setting the stage for her to be able to come to you about other puberty-related issues. Nice job.

It doesn't matter how old she is. If her armpits are hairy she WILL get teased. Maybe hold off on the legs, but if she feels uncomfortable, don't make her wait.

What I have a huge problem with is the fact that a girl should be forced or even encouraged to shave at all!!! We are talking about hair follicles for gosh sake. And shaving is not "natural". Not shaving is. Let's be clear.