If that's her biggest issue in raising two young children, that's great for her. If they have the spare room, why not give a boy each a bedroom? If not, they can share. It should be considered a luxury, not a hard decision, for each sibling to have their own bedroom, and this is coming from someone who always had his own bedroom growing up.

If your family is healthy overall, not sharing a room won't lead to the boys isolating themselves from one another. Promote family time, goals, a loving environment, etc. etc. and don't stuff them into the hands of a day care to raise; these are all much more important issues than whether or not they should be sharing a room.

When I was a kid, I had to share a room with my sister, and all i wanted was a room to myself (which I got when she went to college). Now, I am fortunate enough to live in a home big enough for each of my kids to have their own room, and what do they do? Sleep together in the living room, trade rooms, argue over whose room is better.

Let the boys decide and know that whatever they choose, you will be undoing eventually because they will change their minds!

My two boys, ages 13 months and 2 yrs 9 mths, share a room. It can certainly be challenging at times, especially given their ages, however I think in the end it will be a good experience for both of them. I agree with Barbara in that I do not believe there is a right or wrong here. The truth is if we had an extra upstairs bedroom we may have given them seperate bedrooms. That said, I do like the idea of siblings sharing rooms if they are relatively close in age. I would not base your decision on the possibility of chaos. Once the novelty wears the chaos will subside. Good luck with your decision!

We have 2 girls the same ages as the boys in the questions and we had the same questions a few months ago prior to our house move. We decided to have our girls share - its worked out very well. Bed time isnot a problem. They do tend to wake a little earlier in the morning and one can wake the other. We are hoping this will pass in time.

I think Barbara is right: the kids will adapt no matter what you decide, but every family will be different. I disliked sharing a room with my sister (because of the sharing, not because of my sister) and I wouldn’t say it did a single thing to facilitate bonding between us, but we did it and it was fine. One question for parents to ask in this situation is what – besides bonding -- is the reason for having them share a room? Is space a constraint in your home? We were faced with this choice since we have three bedrooms and were considering using one for an office if the boys would double up. Because one of our boys had challenging bedtimes, we ended up feeling it would be easier to have the kids in separate rooms and finding another spot in the house to use as an office space. If you do decide to have them share, be prepared to have them ask for their own space as they are older, though.

My boys are 13 and 9 and they share a room- They have since they were 5 and 9. They say they want their own rooms, but when they are separated they don't sleep well, and even though they may complain, I think they like the security of being in the same room.

You have to try it to see if it will work though, I had to stay around at night for awhile to get them to stop talking and go to sleep...

I always shared a room with my sisters. I never had a room of my own, even in college, when I had roommates. I met my husband at college and we bought a house together soon after. I never lived alone, and I don't regret it for one bit. It fostered a strong bond between my sisters and I, and taught me conflict resolution. My friends who had their own rooms as children, often had more difficulty in the college transition to sharing a room, and more conflict with their spouses regarding space. That is COMPLETELY anecdotal, of course, but its my own life experience. I think sharing a room is great and I plan to have my own children share a room (once my daughter is graced with a sibling.)

depends on how well the children get along to begin. If listen good and treat each other well, then i don't think you'll have a problem with them sleeping in the same room. My brother and I slept in the same room, but I wouldn't try it with my kids, especially since they have a 4.5 year difference

Jeez, we let our kids share a room and they are 3 and 1. No bedtime chaos at all. All 3 of us shared a room as kids, no problems. My dad shared two beds with his 3 brothers in one room, they managed as well.
I have a funny feeling it will work out.

I think every kid in America these days with his/her own room is what fosters selfish and isolated children. Most of us boomers had to share a room and it didn't hurt us at all. Too many spoiled, self-satisfied kids already.

I don't think it really matters in the long run. You do the best you can with what you have. I would love for our 3 boys to each have their own room. However, a 4 bedroom house is just to far out of our price range. Thus, the 2 oldest ones share since the baby has different sleeping needs.

I have raised seven children, four boys and three girls. Needless to say, they shared bedrooms. They are now in their 30's and 40's and are still very close.
My daughter-in-law was having troubles with her two boys and I suggested they share a bedroom to get to know each other better with less jeolousy. She has thanked me many times, as they are now at 13 and 14, very close and best friends. I am all for children sharing rooms, they can talk to each other about things they may not want to talk about to their parents and they do not feel alone.
Good luck and don't worry, they will grow up fine with loving parents.

#10: that seems like kind of a stretch to say that having their own rooms makes American kids selfish!
In the scheme of things, this isn't the worst problem to have -- it's doesn't even seem like it's a problem if there is the luxury of deciding. You can always change your mind.
Sharing a room doesn't promote bonding in and of itself. My brothers shared a room for ten years and they don't even speak today.

I think you can do both. A few years ago, we remodeled our house and had to move out, and in with my in-laws for four months. When we returned, we asked the boys, ages 5 and 2, if they wanted their own rooms or if they wanted to stay together. They chose to stay together. We let them, figuring they could spend a few more years "bonding". My wife and I figured we'd watch them, and decide when we thought it would be best to separate them into their own rooms--preferably before killing each other. As it turned out, they roomed together for about a year and a half. The younger one wanted "his" own space, so we accomodated him, and both were, and remain relatively happy.

I shared a room, unnecessarily, with my 9 years younger half-brother.

My step-father thought it would foster the same type of relationship between us as he had with his brothers. Since he shared a small room with two brothers, I believe they also slept in the same bed. Interesting, eh?

My take: once your boys are nearing puberty, they must have their own room...their own space. Prior to that point, they will enjoy each others company assuming they are compatible in spirit and you treat them equally.

This is an issue for the upper middle class in America to "debate" - most of the world lives in close quarters doing what they have to do to survive.

Have them share a room. They're still so young. When they get old they have the option of having their own room. It is a luxury.

My sister and I had separate rooms. We were lucky, but often spent the night in each others rooms (my mom called it "sleeping around", and all the grownups would laugh) - we enjoyed talking before bed, and so I would go to her room or she to mine, it was the best of all possible worlds. Unfortuately, I grew up!

In response to FJ's comment about "stuff[ing] them into the hands of a day care to raise" - why do posters insist on being so judgemental about the choices of others? Is it solely the anonimity of the web or do people honestly believe that they have all the answers and everything they do is the right way? Family, friends and day care providers (if that's what a family chooses) all contribute to the health, happiness and well-being of a child. How a child is raised is based on the values and morals instilled by parents - day care providers do not assume this role, and they don't want it. Be sensitive to the choices of others and respect their choices.

My boys, 11 and (soon to be) 14 have shared a room since the little guy arrived. At night, they talk about school and friends, debate about things a little, and then settle down to sleep. My husband and I haven't had to enforce bedtime in quite a while. We are fortunate to have extra room but thus far they have not wanted to be separated. For them, sharing a room has helped in their friendship and they share everything they have with each other. My brothers had to share bedrooms and I think that's what keeps them close. Bottom line, however, is you have to do what works for your family...