Oh most definitely talk with the teacher about how unhappy your daughter is. She will have plenty of miserable years in the work-force, so try to make this part of her life as happy as possible. My mother spoke with my first AND second grade teachers after coming home crying that the "teacher is mean". After the talks, I would come home and say, "the teacher is nice now!" Ummmm....I remember these incidents - clearly - from 37 years ago. I also need to add that my mother shared some of her early childhood teacher stories and said I wasn't going to get along with a lot of people (teachers included) and learn how to adjust. Wish mom could have spoken with a few bosses of mine. HA

I question the headline-writer's decision to include the term "Christian" when the question is about the teacher not the worldview of the school. Seems to me "My daughter hates private school" or "My daughter hates strict school" would have been better.

I would take her out of that school. Catholic school is never good for a child. Put her in public school or private school but whatever you do, take her out of catholic school. It will ruin her life.

Why don't you get your kid out of there and get a real education elsewhere. Mathematics and science instead of propoganda and religion.

Your daughter is right to dislike christian school. She is being taught to be a sheep, conform to outdated dogma, and follow blindly. Your daughter probably asks questions for which they have no answers. Her individuality and love of learning is being squashed. Get her out now before she becomes an ignorant waste of space..like Sarah Palin.

Anne Smith, Sarah Palin NOT being Catholic notwithstanding, exactly how does sending the child to public school encourage individuality and love of learning again?

I like the comments from Anne Smith and I agree. I would also add that the parents need to tell their children that they have the right to choose to believe in what ever they wish to believe in. In my case, I believe that god gave me a brain and I choose to use it !!!!

What incredibly judgemental statements. I think the school was described as Christian for the purposes of background information. There's nothing to indicate that the "christian" part of the school is the problem given that the daugher has been happy there previously.

Whether it is a public or private school , a parent should always feel they have the right to discuss their child's education with a teacher.

I will also add the some students enjoy and can thrive with strict teachers who reduce classroom distractions and set clear expectations.

The anti-Christian school venom is truly puzzling. Sarah Palin, you will recall went to public school and Joe Biden went to Catholic school.

After 7 years at a Parochial School we pulled our children out. Wish we had done it alot sooner. School Administration turned a blind eye to the goings on within the school - bullying, sexual harrassment, cheating, stealing, disrespect for each other and teachers. Now in Public school our kids are thriving (although behind in math - that's Catholic School for ya') and have a ton of friends. Based on our experience, the kids & parents in the public school are certainly A LOT more Christian then they were at Catholic School. It's a shame really . . . Do you kid(s) a favor and put them in a school that's a good fit for them. Christian values can be taught at home.

I personally went to a Christian private school for three years in high school, and I adored it. It wasn't Catholic; it was an Assembly of God church. It was very different from public school, so it took me a while to adapt to it, but I think it was beneficial for me and my friends. It didn't ruin my life, so I don't think it will automatically ruin your child's life, Barbara.
In addition, I am not an ignorant waste of space. If anything, that comment makes Anne Smith an ignorant waste of space. You cannot generalize people like that. I'm sure that some people don't benefit from Christian schools, but some do, as I did.
In my opinion, you should talk to the teacher honestly, and tell her that your daughter is unhappy. In addition, talking to your child about the realities of this world will also help. There will be plenty of people in this world that she will not get along with. However, if you notice that it's obviously the teacher's faults and errors that are troubling your child, the involvement of other parents and the school board will be necessary.

Whoa whoa - easy on the parochial schools!! My daughter spent 14 years in Catholic schools. I am not even catholic but I made the choice because I wanted her to have an education that had a moral component to it. During those 14 years the vast majority of her teachers were competent and caring. Those that weren't provided the basis of a life lesson that will be useful later on. Her religion teachers in High School fomented discussion and analysis of all religions. BTW - her school sent 90% of its graduates to college and all but a handful are graduating 4 years out. Buttercup should work with the teacher to see if the situation can be improved and reach a compromise or middle ground.

"ignorant waste of space"......
"get a real education"...
"it will ruin her life"
Thanks again to all you "open minded" and "tolerant" liberals for another lesson as to why I WANT my sons in their Catholic School. AWAY from you so called "progressive" people. So "accepting of others" you are!
I teach my kids that public school is right for some, Catholic school right for others....I'll let your statements speak for them selves.

the title says "christian school" (not that it seems to matter in this blog) NOT "catholic school" which are 2 very different things.

Wow. Just because the rest of the readers do not obviously like Christianity-doesn't mean it gives you the right to bash it Anne Smith.
You wouldn't like it if I called you a wretched Heathenistic Blasphemer who will rot in hell one day...

Bottom line is the girl needs to learn that there are difficult teachers to deal with sometimes. It is up to MOM to motivate her to tough it out.
Not everyone likes everyone. We all have had bosses that we didn't like. Teachers are no different.

I don't know what "Christian" school is, but I went to Catholic school for 13 years. I can tell you that you LEARN when you are with the nuns, but then again this was back in the day. I would think currently there are lay teachers in the Catholic/Christian schools. One thing we became aware of fast in school was that the world is NOT our oyster, there will be days, week, classes, teachers, purported friends and people in general who do not treat us kindly, motivate us or care, but it is OUR responsibility to overcome those challenges and move on with our studies, work, social skills etc.

I wonder how quick these critics of Christian or Catholics schools would be willing to stick their necks out to criticize the equally rigid (translation: morally strict) classroom codes taught in private schools of the Islamic and Jewish persuassion, or is it only open season to criticize Christian schools?

It's simply amazing how everyone can judge the experience by reading "Christian" in the title. I highly doubt that has anything to do with the situation .. it's likely just a misunderstanding with the teacher or another student. BUTTERCUP - absolutely speak to the teacher and try to work together to make the situation better. By pulling your child out of the school, you are not helping her understand that sometimes you don't always love everything and you have to work through it. I am baffled by so many of the comments here ... people really should not judge when they don't fully understand the situation.

Thank you, melli_fera for confirming the fact that Christian schools and Catholic schools are two different things. Besides that, not all Christian schools are the same, and not all Catholic schools are the same. Not all public schools are the same either. Generalizations such as the ones that the ignorant Anne Smith made are ridiculous. Maybe if she had gone to a Christian school, she would have gained some morals and knowledge.

Funny comments. Since when have Catholic schools been bad at math? I, like others who have commented, had a very positive experience at Catholic school and would send my kids there without hesitation. My Catholic high school sent a much higher percentage of its graduates onto 4 year colleges than my hometown western suburb (currently building a $200 million high school) public school did.

I do think the headline was unnecessary, though. The crux of the question is whether or not to approach the teacher.

Believer, while I totally agree that learning to deal with difficult people is an important life skill, I'm not sure this is the best venue.

The mom should definitely try to work with the teacher. If the teacher does not do a better job motivating the student, the mom should move the child to another class (either at the same school or in the public school.) One year of learning can make a big difference in a child's life.

I had a teacher who didn't do her job, didn't teach well, didn't motivate her class. When I started school the next year I was far behind other students from other classes.

My comments were apparently censored although I think those of others bash "Christian" schools far more than I did.

Perhaps the child does not want to be brainwashed into a cult.

Whatever the reason... stop blaming the teacher. It sounds more like it is you and your child that have the problem.

By all means, confront the teacher and file a complaint with the administration of the school. We had a teacher in our public school who had the reputation of being tough. Conservative parents thought that it was good for kids to deal with the "real world" and learn to live with the abuse. We, being educated and knowing that our son could be scarred for life and turned off on education, knew that doing nothing was not acceptable. We confronted the teacher and the principal and was shocked to find that the abuse got worse and found the teacher was also a liar, was ignorant, prejudiced, and incompetent. My wife and I gave the principal the option of changing his teacher or talking to my attorney. We changed teachers and thereafter had to monitor and supplement his education through high school (once you do confront a teacher, you will be in it for the duration, because incompetent teachers hang together to to punish your kid). We were successful. Our son graduated, attended the country's top school graduating with honors, and earned a PHD at another top school.

Hang in there, it is well worth the fight.

Abuse is NEVER acceptable and never does a child good. This is why we have child abuse laws.

P.S. By the way, this teacher was made the head of the first grade teachers before she retired. It is no surprise that we are falling behind the rest of the world in education.

The headline does not read "hates school". She "hates christian school". It's rather a no-brainer (pun intended).

Buttercup's daughter is one of the few that have yet to be assimilated. A good thing. There is hope.

Yikes!! Most responses here make me hope that my children don't know or interact with the children of the responders (and it also frustrates me that their vote counts as equally as mine but that is for another blog).

Remember the first sentence of Barbara's response - your child got a dud teacher. This happens regardless of the school (private vs public, religous vs non religious). What is important is exactly what Barbara said again and that is to talk to the teacher. Try and work with them.

At the same time, talk to other parents of children in the class and ask about their children. If the other children are good, maybe something else is wrong (the teacher isn't a dud) with your child and it is not the teacher. Keep an open mind during the process because often the reason we originally think may not be the real reason at all.

Good luck and best wishes.

Wow. I am shocked (not really) by all the hate and venom regarding parochial schools. I went to Catholic grammar school, high school and college. I am not a "sheep" nor am I "brainwashed". I wonder why the need to bash people who are religious? What happened to tolerance?

I was doing some more thinking about the issue and Barbara's advice.

There is a REAL difference if it is a private school (religious based or not) and a public school. So the inclusion of this fact by Anne is relevant and should not be criticized. With a public school, you have a right to question bad teaching. You are the taxpayer and there is a real possibility that there are multiple teachers for elementary grades, so you can and should request a transfer. You can talk to your neighbors and learn if your child's teacher has a reputation for being arbitrary and abusive (again, bear in mind that some idiot parents might think abuse is normal and even good, so be careful of what you learn). I would say that a statement that the teacher is tough is a warning sign. Just be sure that it is not abuse. I would err or the side of making your child happy. The act of love will not be wasted....she will remember your support for the rest of her life.

With a private school, there often is more of a commitment by a parent to maintaining the relationship with the school and more of a chance that a child will be forced to endure an outrageous situation. Barbara should have asked the parent if the school was more important to her than the welfare of the child.

My own experience was with a Catholic school as a child (it could been a private school of another denomination - Catholic is not the issue). My mother was a devout Catholic who would never have believed that a nun could be abusive.

The administration was not open to any discussion anyway. In private schools it is either "my way or the highway" The administration tends to be less politically astute than that a public funded organization.

My loving mom also could not bring herself to question anything that a nun or priest would do. My siblings have never forgiven her for not supporting us. You will be surprised how a lack of justice that happened in the first grade will be remembered when you are over 60 years of age.

I can close my eyes and still see and hear in my head the sound of the head of my classmate bouncing off the blackboard after the shove by the nun who was frustrated because he was having trouble reading.

Another red herring is the quality of education. In my day, a private school education was not inferior (other than the lack of music and art). I would question the situation today (because some private schools do not have the resources to get the most qualified teachers). Today, there are likely lay teachers...and I doubt if too much time is spent teaching religion...it is just a place to keep your children from having to deal with the general population.

So, I would have been more happy if Barbara were not so inclined to advice a parent to assume that the child was wrong or should be taught to tough it out.

When I met my bride and fell madly in love, I discussed this issue before we walked to the alter. We both were educated in Catholic schools through college, yet we disappointed our parents when we entered into a pact that we would NEVER subject our kids to what we endured.

I wonder, do all of you who feel such animosity towards religiously supported private schools feel the same way about, say, Boston College, Georgetown, or Notre Dame? This woman's question seems to have served as a jumping-off point for people eager to attack religious private schools, without providing much sensible commentary at all about the specific dilemma raised.

My parents pulled me out of Catholic School after my third grade teacher was a stark contrast to the fantastic teachers of my first two years there.
The teacher was on the older side and did not seem as interested in promoting our desire to learn.
The teachers I encountered in public school were an excellent improvement WHEN pressured to pay attention to you. They were much more susceptible to distraction from not just the larger population of students, but the political pressures of the public school system.
When it came time for high school, my parents gave me the choice between a public and Catholic high school. Choosing the public one worked out to be a fantastic choice as I had many more opportunities and choices in terms of the courses offered, the extracurricular activities, and thereal-world exposure.

Beth, I agree it is sad that people tend to bash parochial schools.

Not all of my experiences were bad in my 16 years of Catholic education. Some of the nuns who taught my wife and me were the best. Priests who taught me in college were brilliant.

I think people bash a Catholic education and make fun of nuns and make statements like "I know child abuse first hand, I went to a Catholic school", because humor is a way to state the truth. A joke is only funny if you can nod your head knowingly and say " so true, so true". If it were not true, it would fall flat and the stand-up comedian would hear no laughter.

The reason we see bad teachers in parochial schools is the same reason we see bad teachers in public schools and in private schools. It is because we let schools get away with keeping bad teachers.

We see the wrong-headed public get away with black and white thinking. When I see someone suggest that the teachers are always right, I want to scream. I saw a bit of this with this article. "Work with the teacher"....I want to scream. Why? If he/she is incompetent, mean spirited, mentally deficient, neurotic, don't bother. Do your kid a favor and show him/her that you have a brain and can think.

I know you will ask how you know if the teacher is incompetent. One way is to know your child. If you were such a bad parent that your kid is impossible to control and you find yourself begging him or her to please be good....maybe you should give the teacher a break. On the other hand, if you are not a permissive parent and have a loving sensitive child who is a pleasure for everyone who meets him/her and never gives you a problem...and you know that he/she is a good child, expect the worse of the teacher.

Back to the black and white thinking - because it is a church based school it is not always right. Because it is a church based school it is not always wrong.

I will say, however, it is unhealthy to be associated with an organization that takes away your ability to judge whether or not it or a teacher is bad. That is why I would not send my kid to a private school. It is too easy to be convinced that the school is always right.

To the OP: You are paying the tuition and have every right to question the teacher. But first, question the child. In what way is this teacher strict? Does she single children out, your daughter included? Is she someone who, no matter how well a student does academically, still makes them feel inferior or bad at learning? These are the types of things that anyone, public or private school, should be addressing with the teacher and, failing that, with the school itself.

To the rest of the Anne Smith's in this board, when I was a teenager, I lashed out at my Catholic upbringing and STILL chose to go to a private, Catholic school. It had the best performing arts program in a non-arts high school in the region and they didn't push religion down our throat at all. We had girls of all faiths attend that school because not only was it known for it's arts, but it was also an excellent academy for...academics. I was leaps and bounds ahead of my public school counterparts when I left high school and I had one of the best experiences of my school career there. I hated public school and wasn't learning or motivated to learn. Giving me the choice and making the sacrifices so they could send me there was one of the greatest things my parents had ever done.

If Anne Smith's kids or any of her ilk are attending our public schools here, you bet my kid will be going to private school if I have to mortgage my left arm to do it. I don't want her influenced by such petty, narrowminded, nastiness that is so prevalent here.

I have a son who goes to a public school and is having trouble with the teacher.
I have had three meetings with her and a few phone conversations and I find her without compassion. She has lost his homework, and accused him of not handing it in...and then later after the fact giving it back to him without reason.
I have approached the principal three times and with facts in my hand of his homework not being corrected or done or just plain wrong...and even she has agreed it is not acceptable. Has anything been done!!!!! NO
I am now keeping him at home and collecting his homework at 2.30pm everyday.
I am sending back to his home town in Alberta in hopes of making his life better.