Today there was a refreshing announcement that relates to the world of autism - a new group has started up, the Autism Science Foundation, to fund important research on practical treatments for autism. "Autism Speaks" has been hijacked by the loony fringe who can't let go of the idea that evil pharma conspired to make their kids autistic. It's more than time for a group that comes from the reality-based universe.

This piece is written so well! I am a special education teacher. I will be showing this to all of my co-workers. Thank you.

This really gave me so much more insight on my child than I ever thought....great article and I am so blessed to have learned more things about my own child!

Dealing with my ASD daughter and myself, I feel that one of most important things is explaining in simple words what something means. You can say "It is a piece of cake", but then tell what it means. People with Asperger's disorder are very logical. Often the logical explanation is enough. For me with over stimulation issues, I found that it is important to know what causes the sound, once I realize it, it does not bother me as much. Knowing self is very important. Try never force your children in social activities, which they actively resist. Nothing good comes of it. Being a visual thinker, I always ask to use a white board at work. Once I write a single word on a topic I can talk about it, by just looking at it.

With Autism, you learn something new every day. My oldest son has autism and although I am his primary care provider, day in and day out, there is always something new to learn and discover. Every day is a winding road!

There are so many books about autism and Asperger's that it's often hard to know which ones are valuable. I had heard of "Ten Things Every Child With Autism..., andt the excerpt tells me it's one of the better ones. It's insightful.in a way that rings true, even though I'm on the mild end of the Asperger's spectrum. I was especially struck by the comment about the "off" smell of fish. I've always been highly sensitive to tastes and smells, but never quite put the individual responses together as a pattern, and never knew they indicated a specific neurological difference until I learned about Asperger's.

I love that the list of ten things is from the child's perspective. It really touches the reader, that way.

I have a 13 yr.old with ASD andmy husband has also been diagnosed with Aspergars as well. Living with 2 Autistics has helped me tolearn and continue to educate myself on the treatments and for them. I have found that the ten things has help me to better communicate with my spouse. I have also been able to seek out programs appropriate for my childs needs to assist in bettering her abilities to communicate to us and others.

So the whole world should be changed to accommodate the autistic children? I think not. I truly feel for parents struggling with children with special needs, but please stop forcing them into situations where they don't want to be, or can't really function. It's no favor to the rest of the soccer team if Johnny can't cope with the sunlight or the chaos or whatever and hides in the corner when he's supposed to be playing, and something tells me that Johnny's not particularly enjoying it, either. If Sammy is overwhelmed by being mainstreamed in the classroom, then push to get him put into an appropriate program - don't expect the mainstream classroom to be turned upside down to accommodate him.

In response to "frustrated mom". As a parent of of an autistic 5 year-old boy I completely understand your viewpoint on mainstreaming if it is of detriment to the child or the inclusion group he belongs to. My son will be mainstreamed in school for the first time next year. If it is disruptive to the point that his well-being or that of his classmates is compromised I will be the FIRST person to demand that he return to his "self-contained" classroom. I personally don't expect the world to change just for him. All I ask for is compassion when we are on a plane or in a restaurant and he has an uncontrollable "meltdown". It can't be stopped sometimes and we can't just hide in our home. I tried that, it's very lonely and isolating. I'm the first to take my child from a dining room or store if he's making a scene. We don't just sit there and tell everybody else "tough". Some ASD parents do, but not all.

Shannon - thank you for seeing my comment in the light it was intended. I know several children on the autism spectrum and I think they are great kids, but in our schools, anyway, there's just not the support that there ought to be to mainstream many of those kids (or many other special needs kids), and all of the kids suffer for it. I like to think think I'm compassionate with any parent having a tough time in the store or a restaurant - even parents of 'typical' kids have tough days. I do object to any parent forcing their kid (typical or not) repeatedly into situations that just aren't a fit.

"frustrated mom" wow wouldn't it be nice if it was that simple. Clearly you don't have an understanding of how the system works. It is nice of you to assume we aren't trying to get our children in the right classrooms. How about you help raise funding for the school districts so that we can have our children in the appropriate classrooms. You have no idea how hard it is to get the "appropriate program" for our children. The schools don't have the funding, staff, resources or training to provide the services we need for our children. They fight you to get the services and most of the time do not provide us with enough services for our children. So we then have to supplement the programs at our expense. But thanks so much for your uneducated and rsponse to this question. Clearly you don't "feel" for my child so please don't pretend you do.

I stand by my statement that mainstreaming should only happen with proper support, and that parents should not force their child into situations like sports teams where everyone suffers from the child's inability to cope. I'm insulted by the statements that I am uneducated, unaware of how the system works, and don't do anything for the schools. I am fortunate that my children do not have special needs, but I have many close friends whose children do, as well as friends who serve as advocates and GALs, and I am well aware of exactly how difficult it is to get services for any kind of special need. I work very hard to get funding for my local school system so that EVERY child can get what he or she needs to succeed. I just hope that I live to see the day when parents don't have to fight tooth and nail to get services for their children.

Frustrated -- While you think you have a grasp on what your "friends" are going through, I am going to say that you haven't a clue. I have some "friends" like you as well... and none of them know what it is like to be the mom of the child who behaves in such a defiant and sometimes unexplained manner. I have 2 sons, ages 8 and 4. They are both on the higher end of the Autism Spectrum. They are both in special programs at school. We have been slowly introducing group activites like scouts, and martial arts to build self confidense, and help with social issues. The thing you must realize is that they need to LEARN how to be social, or they will never be a part of society. Please remember that and try not to judge.

In response to frustrated mom, it is people like you with snide comments that makes people misunderstand children with autism! I was completely annoyed and insulted by your comments. You may have ment well, but I believe until you have a child with autism, you have no idea what it is really like to raise one or deal with local school districts. You can stand by your statement as much as you want, but it does not make right! If you do not have anything positive to say, especially since it is autism awareness month, then you should have nothing to say at all.

I do understand that the kids need to be exposed to situations to learn how to cope, and I am very supportive of things like scouts and martial arts. However, I do question the first exposure being a TEAM sport, where having a team member who can't participate is a detriment to all of the other children. I have the same beef with parents of typical kids who sign their kid up for a sport because they think their kid should play, despite the fact that the kid has no interest and spends the time chasing butterflies or picking noses or whatever.

I want your kids to succeed as much as I want mine to. I want your kid to have the support he needs in the classroom so that he can learn, as well as the other 20+ kids in the class. Some kids are not going to succeed in a mainstream classroom, or would have more success in a specialized classroom when one exists.

No, I don't know what it's like to have an autistic child, but I am certainly capable of empathy. I don't see how wanting proper support for every child is considered "not positive". I will admit that I am harsh on parents with unrealistic expectations -regardless of whether their child is autistic, neurotypical, or has some other special need. Of course we should all have high expectations for our kids, but realistic ones. Everyone has limits, and while it's important to push the limits sometimes, it's also important to know the limits. If a kid is overwhelmed by sunlight and chaos, don't sign him up for soccer or baseball. Stick with karate or swimming or something that's more manageable.

And as for the schools - I know that getting services is like getting blood from a stone. I don't envy you having to fight. If your child is in a classroom with 20+ other kids, though, don't expect the teacher to change everything just for your child. Some modifications? Sure. Rearranging the entire classroom/curriculum/style for the sake of your child, at the expense of other children? No. That's all I meant.

In response to frustrated mom-
You say you have empathy but I seriously wonder if you even posess common sense. How can you even say you have empathy for parents of autistic children and that you know what we are going throught because you have friends with autistic children?! I agree mainstreaming kids who aren't appropriate is no help to anyone including the "typical" children in the class if it is disruptive to them. But did you ever stop and think if the "typical" children are disturbed in class by the autistic child's "melt down" how do you think the autistic child is feeling then?
point? U

Also- I'm glad your such an expert you even know which sports or activities are appropriate! These everyday situations may seem be difficult to the autistic child and an uneducated person like yourself probably does think we as parents are "forcing" these things on our children. Once again-you haven't been there so you don't understand!
As "been there mom" states, yes, we need to teach our children how to cope with these daily things and with society in general even if it means a tantrum, please realize this is at the childs expense, not the gawking onlookers, or you.

Of course all parents want to make things equal for their kids, autistic or not. But you have obviously upset people, including me, by you commenting this way on something you have not experienced to have the knowledge on. On the team sports, at most ages, aren't the kids there to have fun? Who cares if they win, miss the ball or are staring off into space when it's their turn autistic or not. My son is 4, and autistic, and plays tee ball. I see as many "typical" kids as distracted as he is. Basic line- dont comment as if you've been there when you obviously haven't.