They're desperately seeking a beauty fix

Deborah Passner has it rough. She left her job as a project manager in Boston amid a crumbling economy, and now she's considering moving in with a roommate to save money. It's no wonder she's cutting back to the bare necessities. You know, food, lodging, blond highlights.

"My hair is my top priority," Passner said recently. Who can blame her? She has a master's degree in psychology and lots of interests. She's single and dating, and her long golden mane is what men notice first. "I just spent $240 on a hair straightener," she said.

Even as many consumers slash discretionary spending on designer clothing and beauty and anti-aging treatments, others say their pricey La Mer facial cream, Lucky jeans, and Botox are anything but optional. Appearance enhancers are what make them them. Which explains why some fashionistas will do whatever it takes - be it paying bills late, lying to spouses, even skimping on toys for their kids - for what may seem like superficial concerns.

"I feel incomplete if my hair's not done in a salon," Angela Iriowen, 37, said on her way to work as a concierge in Boston. She gets it washed and set every other week, which runs her $35 or $40, and she's planning on getting it braided. "That's $150, not including the tip," she says. She confesses that sometimes she pays her cellphone and electric bills late, and puts off her son's pleas for Xbox games. "Your hair brings out your personality," she explained.

Two surveys taken earlier this year, by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and by the National Cosmetology Association, found that business is down because of the economy. Fifty-three percent of the plastic surgeons said their practices had been affected, and 72 percent of salon owners reported that customers were spending less. And that was before Congress voted to bail out Wall Street to the tune of $700 billion.

The numbers are disappointing for those in the beauty business, but, as Gordon Miller, executive director of the cosmetology association, points out, customers are still booking appointments. Although many of them can afford it, some who are getting pedicures and buying Marc Jacobs are having trouble making ends meet, says Manisha Thakor, co-author of "On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl's Guide to Personal Finance."

"I never cease to be amazed at the contortions and excuses people come up with because they don't want to get real with their money," says Thakor, who's researching a book on talking about "money with your honey." "Most people don't like to deal with their finances in any environment, and so tough times ironically become sort of a get-out-of-jail-free card, in the sense of 'Hey, times are rough so I need to look my best / invest in my wardrobe to get / keep my job / relationship. This isn't frivolous spending. It's insurance to help me stay on my feet in turbulent times.' "

An addiction to looking good may drive some people to spend beyond their means, says self-help guru Judith Wright, author of "The Soft Addiction Solution." "We all have these deeper hungers and deeper needs," she explains. "We want to be loved, we want to matter, we want to make a difference. But we get confused. If we don't feel we're OK as we are, we think, 'If I just get my Botox, I'll be lovable.'

"They become dependent on these beautifying or glamorizing things, or designer labels, as if that's their label," she says.

That's how Emily Sobel, a freshman at Emmanuel College, says she feels. "I keep shopping even though I should be saving for tuition," Sobel said, as she hung out with two equally stylish friends on a recent Monday afternoon. She was wearing a new pair of $200 Lucky jeans. "I shouldn't have done it," she admitted of the purchase, "but the pressure of society is overwhelming. You are trained to believe if you don't have the right clothes you don't feel attractive."

Which is why Richie D. Santana, 41, who works in private security, has no plans to trim spending on clothing from Ralph Lauren or Calvin Klein, even if it means he can't go out to movies or buy magazines. "We only have one life, we might as well spoil ourselves," he said as he strolled Newbury Street.

Larry Brakefield, 32, a vice president of operations for the T.G.I. Friday's restaurant chain, is also willing to sacrifice for his appearance. He's eating out less and taking fewer vacations so he can continue weekly sessions with a personal trainer, which build confidence along with muscle. "At work I look better in my suits," he said.

Brooke Siegel, Miami editor of DailyCandy.com, and an author of "The DailyCandy Lexicon: Words That Don't Exist but Should," points out that spending at the salon and med spa might be smart. "In this volatile market, maybe the best investment you can make is yourself. A good mani-pedi [will last] for at least two weeks."

Meanwhile, the easier it's become to erase gray hair and wrinkles and fat, the more people have gotten used to looking like younger, slimmer, versions of themselves. That can be hard to give up, no matter how tight money gets.

In the words of one Botox junkie, who asked that her name be omitted: "That woman with wrinkles who appears when I wait too long between appointments, I don't know who she is."

Beth Teitell is the author of the new book "Drinking Problems at the Fountain of Youth," a take-down of our society's obsession with looking forever young. E-mail her at bteitell@gmail.com