Acid-wash reflux
As soon as I saw them on the runway, the flashbacks began. Call it post-traumatic fashion syndrome. Suddenly I was back in high school, shopping for acid-wash jeans in the young men's department at Jordan Marsh with Howard Jones playing in the background. The trouble is, I'm no longer in high school and the Worcester Galleria is long gone (may it rest in peace). This is 2009 and I spotted acid-wash jeans on the runway in New York. You don't realize the restraint I just demonstrated by not ending the previous sentence with a series of exclamation points.
For those of you who exercised good taste during the 1980s, acid wash is a treatment that bleaches and distresses the dye in jeans, leaving them looking like they're ready for the Goodwill pile. I still remember how my pride turned to shame as my prized acid-wash jeans slowly yellowed, making them about as relevant as Tiffany's second album. At the Miss Sixty show last month in New York, I sat slack-jawed as a leggy model strolled down the runway in an acid-wash catsuit. I wish I could say the madness stopped there. Brace yourself, friends, the 1980s wants to boom-boom into our hearts and jitterbug into our brains.
Marc Jacobs's fall 2009 show was an homage to the excesses of the 1980s with hair teased to the heavens and shoulders broader than a linebacker's. Michael Kors showed furs in neon shades of green and pink, complete with coordinating neon sweater dresses.
"The new acid wash isn't the high waisted, pleated acid-wash jeans that Alyssa Milano would wear with a sports jersey," says Zoe Glassner, fashion editor of Marie Claire. "Now it's chic and fitted and tapered. I think shoulder pads are the same thing. They are obviously exaggerated runway examples, like the Marc Jacobs show where the shoulders are super wide. Everything we see coming for fall 2009 is updated and new. It's not the same '80s."
Glassner is a fan of these styles. She's crazy about the reintroduction of the harem pant and is welcoming the jumpsuit back with open arms. We will have to agree to disagree. I'll confess that I enjoy some of the glamorous 1980s silhouettes of high fashion. Donna Karan made shoulder pads a way of life, and women finally made good on the words of Helen Reddy and roared to power thanks in part to those suits. But the rebirth of neon is downright frightening to me. I let out an audible sigh of relief when I tossed out my neon green "Frankie Say Relax" T-shirt while cleaning my closet before going to college, and now Kors is dying furs the same garish shade.
Fashion runs in 20-year cycles, so naturally hints of the 1980s have been infiltrating the runways for the past few years. But never like they did recently in New York, Paris, and Milan for the fall/winter 2009 shows. The culprit for the full-scale return to Knots Landing is the same perpetrator that snatched away most of your 401(k). Designers, looking to escape from the dismal economy, time traveled back to an era when corporate travel budgets were robust and the Concorde was still in flight.
"It's just a lot of fun, and I think we're all looking for a little more fun these days," said
Looks from the 1980s can be fun, in part because these ensembles are pure escape. Most of the current obsession is focused on New York's 1980s party scene. It was the era of Danceteria, Blondie, and Thierry Mugler. There is an energy and an edginess to some of these clothes. In Milan, looks from
When I told Glassner my feelings about the 1980s revival, she reminded me that in fashion, if you wore it the first time around, you're probably not going to wear it the second time. She is completely right. The 30-year-old Glassner is excited to wear her harem pants because she never has. I'm at the other end of my 30s, which means I'm happy to put on a skinny tie, but I'm drawing the line at revisiting neon and acid wash. Also, I don't care how ironic they become, I refuse to grow a mullet again. Some mistakes should never be repeated.
Christopher Muther can be reached at muther@globe.com. 