Sweet Valley lies!

This isn't so much a matter of style as it is a matter of size. No, I take that back. Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield were my style icons from roughly age 7 to age 13. For those of you that aren't on a BFF basis with the Wakefield girls, let me refresh your memory: These twins were the bubbly protagonists of the Sweet Valley Twins and Sweet Valley High book series. I always envied the size six teenagers with the blue-green eyes and sun-drenched hair as they went about their typical, soap opera-esque lives: trying out for the cheerleading squad, dating older men (seniors!), and generally being fabulous. Who didn't want to be a member of the ultra-cool Unicorns social circle? (I am a total dork.)

Anyways, author Francine Pascal (and her team of ghostwriters) has recently revived the series for a new generation of tweens. And, as I suspected, California girls Jessica and Liz have apparently been chugging SlimFast in the offseason. They are officially size fours. Yuck.

And I quote:

"I'm totally serious!" Jessica protested. "First of all, I gained, like, five pounds since last week-all in my hips and butt," she said, turning around and craning her neck to see her rear view in the mirror. Her perfect-size-four rear view. (From 'Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love')

And we wonder why 11-year-olds have eating disorders. This just gives teens another skinny, unrealistic ideal to live up to. If I want stick-sized models, I'll read Vogue, thanks very much.

[Ah, the good old days -- when shoulder pads were king.]