Happy birthday, Madge!

Wow. The Queen of Pop is officially 5-0. True, she has the benefits of a nutritionist, a stylist, and a personal trainer (and most likely, cosmetic surgery), but still, she looks darn good. She can strike a pose and knock 'em dead any day.

Unfortunately, her wackadoo birthday ensemble didn't highlight her assets in any way, shape, or form. It's probably just another reinvention of herself, and yes, I know it's her party and she can make us cry if she wants to, but really?

Poofy princess sleeves. Shorty-shorts with high leather boots, covered with a torn, sheer skirt of sorts. A clutch with Madonna spelled out on the side in crystals. And about 200 knotty gold chains. Now, Maddy, you don't have to go all power suit and shoulder pads on us. But how about nice jeans and a dark shirt — you can even keep the chains.

Oh, who am I kidding? You aren't going to listen to me, Madonna, and you'd probably deck me for this blog entry if we ever met. In fact, I heard you partied all night at Volstead Club in London and then headed to the gym in the morning. To the next 50 years!

[Photo source]