J. No, no, no
Hi there, Jennifer Lopez. Still soul-searching for a New Year's resolution? I can help: Get a new stylist. 
I spit out my Sun Chips when I saw your get-up on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve (I, too, was in NYC for NYE, but nowhere near Times Square. Thank god.) Looking around, I saw mouths agape and heads shaking in disbelief — was Jenny from the Block really wearing a sparkly bodysock? The clinging one-piece bunched and wrinkled in all the wrong places. Honestly, I could have forgiven almost anything else. You belted out "Waiting for Tonight" with sass in the pouring rain. Major props.
But all this was forgotten, drowned in a sea of "ews" and disgust. It didn't look much better from the back, either:
We take it from your seminal recording that your love don't cost a thing. Fair enough. But, can we buy you a robe? Please?
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Rachel Raczka (@rachelraczka) is the lifestyle producer for Boston.com.
