"Should we just get drunk?"
Only Jennifer Lawrence could get away with this.
The A+ list actress launched into a "seven-hour bender"/interview with Vogue writer Jonathan Van Meter for her September cover story at the Odeon restaurant in New York City. The resulting story touched on various topics, from her new-ish 'do ("Too skunky?") to her least favorite foods ("I have the taste buds of a five-year-old"), with anecdotes and praise from the directors and industry types surrounding her woven in. However, the real stars of piece are Lawrence's deadpan quotes that leave us wondering: What will she say next? (Also, how many sleepless nights a week does she cause her PR team?)
The accompanying shoot was lensed by the always great Mario Testino and the issue hits stands August 20.
Here our favorite quotes from the booze-soaked story:
“I wake up earlier in the morning when I have new sponges. That counter doesn’t even see it coming.”
Lawrence went on a "20-minute monologue" on sponges. Yes, sponges. Like the kind you keep in your kitchen. She then relates her affinity for sponges to the demise of her relationship with ex-beau, actor Nicholas Hoult. "He would never wring them out." We hear you, girl. We really do.
"If I were just your average 23-year-old girl," she says, "and I called the police to say that there were strange men sleeping on my lawn and following me to Starbucks, they would leap into action. But because I am a famous person, well, sorry, ma’am, there’s nothing we can do. It makes no sense."
Lawrence voiced her opinion on the unpopular/"ungrateful" (her words, not ours) complaint of being
borderline stalked really famous. But, honestly, she has a point. And she gets so fired up that writer throws in his own opinion: "I would not be the least bit surprised to see her marching on Washington one day, hand in hand with Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn."
"You have to be funny in our family, to survive, because we are so mean to each other."
Anyone who has seen Lawrence do late night talk shows, you know she grew up Louisville with two older brothers and her parents, with whom she remains close. We always suspected somewhere between all those days of pickup football and camp counseling, Lawrence toughened up her funny bone -- now we know for sure.
"I was a horrible student, and I kept getting grounded every time my report card came out. Acting was never an option. It wasn’t like, ‘Oh, well, you got a C in math; you’re grounded. But you can be an actor!"
Hear that kids?
"This thing is archaic. Are you going to write this whole thing out longhand, with, like, a pen?"
Van Meter arrived with a RadioShack tape recorder. Lawrence had to ride him on it. We suspect she'd do the same to us. Which is almost like we're friends, right? (Best friends.)
“I was a weirdo,” she says. “I wasn’t picked on or anything. And I wasn’t smarter than the other kids; that’s not why I didn’t fit in. I’ve always just had this weird anxiety. I hated recess. I didn’t like field trips. Parties really stressed me out."
Now she's somewhat of a pro.
"My family went on a cruise, and I got a terrible haircut. FYI: Never get your hair cut on a cruise."
"But I always knew"—here she lowers her voice—“that I was going to be famous. I honest to God don’t know how else to describe it. I used to lie in bed and wonder, Am I going to be a local TV person? Am I going to a motivational speaker? It wasn’t a vision. But as it’s kind of happening, you have this buried understanding: Of course."
Lawrence gets a lot of praise for being humble. This probably won't help that case. But it was charming and pretty funny nonetheless.
"I remember Bradley Cooper and I saying, ‘Is this kid even paying attention?’ Because she’s goofing around or eating my potato chips or making fart jokes. And then all of a sudden, she comes in, and bam! She’s like a lot of great athletes."
This isn't a quote from Lawrence herself but we felt the need to add it in. "Silver Linings Playbook" director David O Russell weighed in on what a pro she is and we think this sums it up nicely. Also, insight into Lawrence's on-set shenanigans. No wonder Cooper signed up to work with her again.
We pile into the SUV and immediately get caught in a bumper-to-bumper snarl (“There’s too much traffic,” she says to the driver. “You’re fired”).
Hollywood brat? No. Just our best friend, J.Law, kidding around. Oh Lawrence, you slay us.
"Right now I’m just a big fan of windows,” she says. “I stand at my window at my hotel in Montreal. Like it will be hours. It’s the only time I can look at big groups of people, and they’re not looking at me."
Big windows are totally the new sponges. This is also pretty profound -- if you really think about it.