Canada's holey icon: Our eyes glaze over
On the first page of University of Toronto historian Steve Penfold's new book, "The Donut: A Canadian History," actor Eugene Levy proclaims: "If there's one thing that is distinct, that is ours, that Canadians can claim as theirs, I'd say it's donuts." On that same page, a resident of Halifax, Nova Scotia, calls doughnuts "kind of a uniquely Canadian thing." Elsewhere in the book, doughnuts are called Canada's "national food" and "Canada's apple pie."
But . . . doughnuts are about as Canadian as "Baywatch" and baseball, to name just two imports from the United States. In his book, Penfold explains that the New York-based Doughnut Company of America introduced the fatty little treats into Canada's mainstream in 1935. So how can a staple of American consumerism be the national food of Canada? "I don't think the fact that it's American makes it less Canadian," Penfold replied, elliptically. "A lot of our national identity is based on anti-Americanism. We both embrace America and reject it."
Fair enough. But it is odd how Canada, which proudly boasts the highest per-capita doughnut consumption in the world, has an almost-Soviet-style impulse to claim primacy in fields that people don't really care about. In his important book, "Canada Firsts," Ralph Nader (yes, THAT Ralph Nader) credits Canada with inventing the chocolate bar, the zipper, Yahtzee, green ink, the ombudsman, the light bulb, football, and the time zone. The sequel, "More Canada Firsts," adds the artificial heart, the television V-chip, the Robertson square-head screwdriver, the pacemaker, and Java computer language to the already-impressive list.
Next thing you know, the Canadians will claim to have invented the telephone.
Oh . . . never mind.
But back to doughnuts. Immersed in the shadowy gropings of "cultural studies," Penfold ignores several interesting Canadian-American dynamics on the doughnut front. Case in point: Wendy's disastrous takeover of Tim Hortons, North America's finest doughnut chain. The American greasemongers swallowed up Hortons in 1995, and had to spit it out in 2006 because the Canadian operations were wildly outperforming the Yanks.
How great is Tim Hortons? First of all, it's named after a national icon, a tough-as-old-leather hockey star who died in a tragic 1974 automobile accident. (The Bruins' Derek Sanderson once bit Horton during an on-ice disagreement.) Tim Hortons is so great that if you ordered the 15-pack of "Timbits" doughnut holes at a certain store in Nova Scotia in 2000, they gave you a bag of marijuana! That's what I call service. The humorless Mounties broke up this little operation, but it being Canada, nobody went to jail.
Penfold also glosses over the transborder doughnut war being waged by Tim Hortons and Quincy-based Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' invaded Quebec in the late 1970s, eventually opening more than 150 stores. That number now stands at around 70, and Dunkin' will be cautious in adding Canadian locations, says chairman John Luther: "We are going to be taking it one store at a time." It goes without saying that Dunkin' does not trumpet its "America Runs on Dunkin' " slogan north of the 49th parallel.
Hortons hasn't exactly set the world on fire down here. They lost money in Dunkin' country last year, where their brand is almost completely unknown. (Their few Massachusetts locations are clustered around the Rhode Island border.) "New England is not performing at the level of the rest of the stores in our US chain," Hortons chairman Paul House told Canada's Financial Post this year. Nonetheless, Hortons plans to expand its US presence from around 400 to about 500 locations in 2008.
Luther, who grew up in Buffalo and once shook Tim Horton's hand at a Sabres game, isn't quaking in his boots. "We don't take any competitor casually," he says, adding: "They've struggled here."
Doughnut author Penfold writes history, not journalism, and explains that he felt no need to provide an up-to-the-second snapshot of the cross-border doughnut wars. I asked him what he was working on now. "Christmas," he replied. Surely you aren't going to claim that Canadians invented Christmas? "Well, actually, I've discovered that the Eaton's department store in Toronto had the first Santa Claus parade . . ."
Is there no end to Canadian cultural hegemony?
Alex Beam is a Globe columnist. His e-dress is beam@globe.com.
