Hasty judgment

The real Harvard played host to the stage version yesterday, as "Legally Blonde: The Musical" star Becky Gulsvig joined the Hasty Pudding gents onstage in a skit that pitted the "real" Elle Woods against her drag impersonator. (Guess who was kicked offstage for being "illegally blonde"?) The musical's composer and lyricist - Harvard alums (and spouses) Larry O'Keefe and Nell Benjamin - were also in the house, along with actor and alum Paul Jackel, to answer questions during a panel discussion. O'Keefe and Benjamin told stories from their college days, admitting they drew from Harvard folks in writing the music and lyrics for characters in the musical, which opens at the Opera House tonight. O'Keefe also admitted he entered the Ivy League with a rather Elle-like persona, all wide-eyed and chipper. And the immediate exposure to people so much richer and higher-achieving was a bit daunting. "I was humiliated several times in my freshman year by the grandson of Alexander Solzhenitsyn," he cracked. "His nickname was Stoli."

No wonder Lil Wayne's fans are livid. The self-proclaimed "best rapper alive" refused to perform at Monday's sold-out Monster Jam, and he can't be bothered to explain why, let alone apologize. We're told Lil Wayne threw a fit because he and his entourage, estimated at between eight and 12 people, were required to pass through a metal detector before taking the stage at the TD Banknorth Garden. "He freaked out and went back to his van," Jam'n 94.5 DJ Ramiro wrote on the station's website yesterday. "BECAUSE HE IS CRAZY!" This isn't the first time the hard-partying hip-hopper, whose real name is Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., has been a no-show. Over the weekend, Weezy, as the Lil one is also known, stiffed fans in Rochester, N.Y., declining to go on stage because he was dissatisfied with the sound system. (You might recall that he showed up so late at last year's Monster Jam that his set lasted just a few minutes.) Still, it looked for a while like the rapper might perform Monday for a crowd that included LeBron James, and Celtics Leon Powe and Rajon Rondo. Scheduled to play a 50-minute set before headliner Jay-Z, Lil Wayne eventually was coaxed out of his van and back into the venue. Reluctantly, he passed through the metal detector, but when someone in his posse set off the alarm, the rap star bolted again. "Lil Wayne decided to [disrespect] not only his fans but his band as well," wrote Ramiro. "Everything was set, his gear and band was on stage and ready to go." Fans, who paid between $35 and $200 for a ticket to the show, registered their outrage yesterday on Lil Wayne's MySpace page. "2 words u gata hear," wrote RaSHad, "Wayne QUIT!" (Wayne's people didn't return calls yesterday.) While Lil Wayne won't be paid for his non-performance, the radio station isn't ruling out having him back. "The guy's a star," said our source. "People want to see him. What are you gonna do?"

Performing at the Nov. 9 fund-raiser for the Boston Public Library is a perfect fit for legendary crooner Tony Bennett. First: He's all about education, having founded a public high school for the arts in Queens, named after his best friend Frank Sinatra. Second: He loves Boston. Truly. He spent a lot of time here when his daughter Antonia was a student at Berklee College of Music a few years ago. (The two recently recorded a duet for his new album with the Count Basie Big Band, "A Swingin' Christmas.") "It's a very special place for me," said Bennett. "I love the musicians in that area . . . Gray Sargent has been on the road with me for a number of years . . . the late Dave McKenna. There's a whole atmosphere of culture that prevails." Bennett counts the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, with paintings by John Singer Sargent, among his favorite places.

The Celts raised their 17th championship banner last night, bringing smiles to the faces of their long-suffering fans. Among those enjoying the moment were hizzoner Tom Menino, New Kids Donnie Wahlberg and Danny Wood, Sox brass Larry Lucchino and John Henry, who was with girlfriend Linda Pizzuti, and players Kevin Youkilis and Mike Lowell, Patriots owner Robert Kraft, wife Myra, and players Heath Evans, Benjamin Watson, Ty Warren, Adalius Thomas, Kevin Faulk, Matt Cassel, and Sammy Morris, nightlife nabob Ed Kane, Boston culinary kahuna Joe O'Donnell, WAAF's Greg Hill, WEEI's Glenn Ordway, Dropkick Murphy Ken Casey, Reebok's Paul Foster, hedge fund honcho Jim Pallotta, and Longwood Events exec Jim Apteker. Celtics legends on hand included John Havlicek, Bob Cousy, Jo Jo White, Tommy Heinsohn, KC Jones, and ML Carr. "American Idol" also-ran Ayla Brown sang the national anthem.

Catch a glimpse of Kevin Garnett's sweet new sneakers last night? The Adidas Team Signature KG Commanders, which retail for a mere $1,017, feature KG's face on the side of the shoe. But even better are the kicks Kevin will wear on Election Day, when the Celts play the Rockets. ESPN's uniform-obsessed scribe Paul Lukas reports that, on Nov. 4, Garnett's sneakers will be emblazoned with this civic-minded message: Embrace Change Vote '08. Wonder who he's voting for?

The Brattle Film Foundation will honor Willem Dafoe at its Nov. 16 gala at the Charles Hotel. Previous honorees include actress Geraldine Chaplin and filmmaker Brad Anderson. . . . Locke-Ober's Lydia Shire is hosting Barney Frank at her historic restaurant this morning. The liberal congressman Republicans love to bash will be speaking at Denterlein Worldwide's "In the News" breakfast.

Pats players Tedy Bruschi, Larry Izzo, Wes Welker, Matt Gutierrez, Wes Britt, and Mark LeVoir joined Joe Milano for a feast at the Union Oyster House the other night. The gridiron get-together was an auction item at Izzo's successful Salute to the Troops fund-raiser last April. The Oyster House owner, whose wife, Jill, is tight with Larry's mother, Terry, was the high bidder. "These guys are gentle giants, so nice," Milano told us yesterday. In addition to the Pats players and their wives, most of Milano's family made the scene, including his four daughters, their husbands, and his nine grandchildren.

Pats running back Sammy Morris, who surely ate all of his vegetables as a boy, talked to kids at South Elementary School in Plymouth yesterday about good nutrition and exercise. (The event was sponsored by WBCN and the Women, Infants and Children nutrition program.) Said Morris: "I can play football but I cannot draw. Onions they say are good for you, but Mr. Sammy doesn't like onions. Mangos are the best-tasting fruit."

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