When I first became a dad, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing or what I was in for. In fact, there are some who would argue I'm not in a better place now after 7 1/2 years either but that's another story altogether and for another time.
Having your first child (or children in my case) is as overwhelming as it is exciting. There is no rule or instruction book that comes with each baby. And while most of parenting comes from trial and error and is customized to each wonderfully unique baby, there are some things that I wish I had known back then that would have spared me some anxiety and growing pains.
So I offer to you 46 morsels of expectant dad advice that hopefully will keep you just a little bit more sane than you may have been without it.FULL ENTRY
ďThe secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.Ē - Socrates
Change. Some of us embrace it while others fear it. Change comes easily for some but for others, itís a slow and painful process. Generally speaking, kids do better with change. More importantly, kids want to and believe they can change the world.FULL ENTRY
For most of my life, Iíve almost always had a dog, cat, or both. In fact, when there isnít an animal around, I canít help but feel that something is missing. All animals, but in particular dogs, hold a special place in my heart. Over the years, they have taught me about love, compassion, forgiveness, loyalty, and the finer art of stick fetching. In truth, they have taught me to be a better person overall and now, as a parent, I recognize even more ways how our four-legged friends enrich the lives of my children.FULL ENTRY
Just when I thought brands were beginning to ďget it,Ē Procter and Gamble smothers the Sochi Olympics with this sexist ad:FULL ENTRY
I've often been critical of brands and their stereotypical portrayal of lazy dads who don't care about being a good parent. They too often send a message that the majority of us dads would rather not participate in raising our children because it's hard, because it's inconvenient, and because we can easily get our wives or someone else to do the hard stuff.
Times are changing.FULL ENTRY
Last weekend, the long weekend, my wife and I had the unique opportunity to escape for a few days alone - sans children. Of course itís always hard to leave your kids for any period of time as you perpetually worry about them but sometimes you just need to re-charge the batteries and remember Ďyour everything.íFULL ENTRY
As parents, it is our job to protect, educate, and provide the tools necessary for our children in order for them to thrive and develop their own ideas, desires, and opinions. We do what we can to not just give the answers they so desperately seek, but rather to provide them with a path to find out for themselves.
Except when it comes to football.FULL ENTRY
I have sat down for the past several months trying to write this letter to you both but have not been able to find the words. I wrote Open Letter to My Son with relative ease so I have been perplexed as to why I have had such a hard time writing to you.
Itís hard to believe itís almost 2014. While many of you may look back fondly on this past year, many more may be ready to kick 2013 to the curb and start over with a clean slate. Regardless of which group you fall into, I find it helpful to take stock of my life this time of year. What worked? What didnít work? What could I have done better? What did I accomplish?
Did I succeed? If not, how come? How can I plan for success next year?FULL ENTRY
Are dads more involved today with taking care of their kids than they were say, 10 years ago? The latest survey by the National Center for Health Statistics says, YES!!
While I do take some issue with the survey (mostly due to the fact the findings were self-reported and I know that we [guys] tend to exaggerate just about everything), but generally speaking, I couldn't agree more or be more pleased with the results.FULL ENTRY
Whoa Nelly!! What is this???!!!!
By now, we've all seen the #hotchristmasjammiesmom and family pseudo-twerking through the neighborhood in their from-undies, but after reading a bit more about them, I learned about daddyís group vasectomy.
Ring any bells?
Being a parent is a without a doubt a precious gift but itís also the most difficult job I've ever had. In particular, these past few months have been enormously stressful for my wife and me, as weíve again been presented with some of lifeís parenting challenges.FULL ENTRY
Last week when I wrote about the importance of teaching our children about traditions and family, I failed to also touch upon something that I didnít even realize was about to effect my own life and so soon.FULL ENTRY
On this Thanksgiving Day, families typically congregate for the feast of the year. The big kids come home from college and the little kids had a Ĺ day of school yesterday and are off until next week. The aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins (most of whom you donít see all that often) show up early afternoon for a celebration of food, football, and well, family.FULL ENTRY
There are sometimes moments in life that change us. And sometimes, there are experiences that alter our essence to such a degree, that everything we've ever thought about the world can change in the blink of an eye.
And it did.FULL ENTRY
Last week I was sitting with my son having lunch at a restaurant. He was quieter than normal, and I could tell something was on his mind. He was intently examining each of his french fries before taking a bite.FULL ENTRY
There are a lot of reasons why I love Boston. And while obviously winning the World Series the other night is certainly near the top of that list, I'm reminded of so many amazing moments and places growing up in this amazing city. As a north shore kid, geographically speaking, I thought that just after Quincy was the Bourne Bridge and the Cape. Little did I know.
I did eventually expand my horizons and ventured far beyond Quincy but I still hold Boston close to my heart and it's still my most favorite place in the world. And as I polled my friends and family as to their favorites, I was amazed at the response. Here is a sampling:
One of the great things about life with kids is that we are always being challenged to be better parents and spouses. We are far from perfect and sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail. And that's ok.
The key to maintaining some semblance of sanity is to remember, and accept, that some days are better than others and that tomorrow is a new day.
Today was one of those days.
Last week, while riding his bike (with helmet on thankfully), my four-year-old son was hit by a car. When I got the phone call at work, my heart sank. My wife said, ďCJ was hit by a car. I think he broke his leg. Meet us at the hospital.Ē
I rushed out of my meeting, grabbed my car keys and told my boss I was leaving. It was 3:47 Ė just about rush hour and the hospital was about 25 miles away.
It was one of the longest car rides of my life.FULL ENTRY
There is one day each year that I fear the most:
School picture day.
As a father of 3, including twin girls, nothing is as stressful as trying to style a girls hair when I self-admittedly have absolutely no clue what I'm doing.FULL ENTRY
When I dropped my son off at preschool this morning, he uncharacteristically was upset that I was leaving him. This is his second year and never once previously did he show any signs of separation anxiety.
So I asked him, "what's wrong?"
He reluctantly conceded, "I miss Jordan." His first best friend who was no longer in his class.FULL ENTRY
It was 8 years ago that we threw a spectacular party under a big white tent by a lake in southwest Connecticut with 150 of our closest friends and family. Afterwards we were whisked off to NYC in that stretch limo, spent the night at the W Hotel penthouse where Eric Clapton frequently stayed (or so we were told). The next morning, we had breakfast on a private 700 square foot rooftop patio before heading off to JFK for the beginning of a storybook honeymoon in Italy.
It was a time of pure self-indulgence and fun. We enjoyed frequent socializing with friends, city living, travel, and copious free time. There were long walks together, lazy sunny weekends lying on the grass in the Public Garden, and quiet rainy Sundays curled up on the couch together reading the newspapers.
As you approach your fifth birthday and enter your last year of preschool, I can't help but think you're growing up too fast. I guess thatís the trend these days with all this twerking business, but that's a conversation for another day.
As a father, there's something special about having a son. Of course I love your sisters as much as you, but itís different. They are my princesses. You, on the other hand, are my son. And thereís something intrinsic and almost primal about having a son. Itís hard to explain, but maybe someday, if you are lucky enough to have your own family, you too will feel the same way.FULL ENTRY
When my wife and I first got pregnant, we were never so excited about anything in our lives. From that initial holy bejeeezus moment when we first found out, parenthood has been nothing short of a thunderous freight train racing down the tracks of life just barely clinging to a semi-controlled rail of chaos. Getting off the train wasnít an option, so we just held on as tightly as we could. But soon thereafter, we began to realize that we were embarking on just possibly the most challenging, beautiful, awe-inspiring, and precious journey of our lives.
Everyone's introduction to parenthood is unique and I am certainly no different. When I first wrote about my story, 93 Days, it was because I needed an outlet for the overwhelming feelings I was experiencing. But the impetus for Tubalub, was because I very quickly, even before the birth of my twin girls, began to realize that I was being treated differently by just about everyone.FULL ENTRY
My name is Kip Durney and I'm looking forward to sharing with you some thoughts about parenting and specifically about the forgotten DADs. As a father of three, including identical twin girls, I recognized early on that I was not given the same level of stature as a father as my wife did as a mother - by family, friends, strangers, and brands. That recognition and increasing frustration led to the birth of Tubalub which I am now bringing to boston.com.
Why Tubalub? If you've got kids, you know how difficult it can be to get them into the oh-so-dreaded tub. At the very mention of "bath time," the kicking and screaming would commence making the entire process overwhelmingly frustrating and painful for both me and my wife. So, in an act of desperation one day, I enticed them with "let's jump in the Tubalub!" to which they sprung to their feet and into the now oh-so-playful indoor pool!FULL ENTRY