There it was on Facebook: an announcement from my friend that he was getting a divorce.
"So-and-so is no longer married," the website said.
And next to that all-too-simple announcement of the end of a 15-year-plus relationship was an illustration of a broken heart, the little red icon cut down the middle. That's how the ubiquitous social networking website illustrates divorce - with the same tiny broken heart that's also used to mark the end of a three-week relationship or a fight between two 12-year-olds. One icon for the end of all relationships, no matter how important, no matter how long.
You'd think there'd be more options on social networking sites to signify the beginnings and endings of relationships, especially now that humans express so many of their emotions electronically. That's why I called Facebook and asked why there wasn't a specific icon for divorce, or at the very least, more options than the simple heart graphic. A Facebook spokeswoman e-mailed me back to say that the heart is all Facebook believes it needs to offer at the moment. No plans for anything more complicated.
I decided to take up the issue with Irena Roman's Massachusetts College of Art and Design illustration class. Roman's students, who are regulars on a number of social networking sites, agreed that perhaps there are better, more complex graphic icons to mark the end of long-term relationships. The 20-somethings told me they would come up with their own ideas, specifically for a new icon to represent divorce.
Some of the students are married, and when we talked about what divorce should look like, they spoke mostly of the loss of companionship. Other students, who presumably grew up in divorced families, talked about broken homes. A few students considered that divorce might be a good thing for some people, that maybe an icon could be celebratory.
Within about a month, the aspiring artists sent me thumbnails of their proposals for a Facebook icon to symbolize divorce. Some of their offerings are pictured above.
Anna Cassell, 22, of Salem went for cute and clever: the popsicles. "I do a lot of food art," she explained. Emily Wayne's estranged couple on a wedding cake is self-explanatory. (The 22-year-old Westhampton woman's icon makes room for gay marriage. There are versions of the cake with two women and two men.)
I showed all these images to some of my divorced friends. Most gravitated toward Alycia Garcia's broken home, which quite literally shows how divorce rips one's foundation apart. Almost all my pals grasped their chests when they saw Jamie McKiernan's heart being torn apart on a cheese grater. It moved them, but none of them were convinced the concept was divorce specific. Abraham Evensen Tena, 27, illustrated divorce as an angry dog and cat. Sinnia Zelaya, 21, put a red line through a gold ring.
Undecided about which icon was best, I contacted internationally renowned artist Susan Kare to ask her how she believes complex relationships should be illustrated on social networking sites. Kare designed many of Facebook's staple icons and virtual gifts, and is also responsible for some of the first graphics for Apple in the 1980s. Not surprisingly, she chose to respond by e-mail.
"I think of icons as symbols (vs. illustrations) and when a symbol is not too specific, it is inclusive. (e.g. for writing, the simple outline of a pencil vs. a tiny, detailed illustration of a chrome ballpoint). Both :^) and the broken heart on Facebook (which I did not design, but like) are good symbols in their universality (not gender or age-specific) and are easily understood at a glance. Too many nuanced icons can begin to seem like hieroglyphics."
Basically, the more vague the icon, the more humans it applies to.
Kare is probably right. Some divorces are miserable. Some break up homes. Some are best illustrated with bittersweet tears, champagne glasses, and party favors. Perhaps the only universal image that signifies divorce for everyone might just be a broken heart.
Meredith Goldstein can be reached at mgoldstein@globe.com. You can read her daily Love Letters dispatch and chat with her every Wednesday at 1 p.m. at www.boston.com/loveletters. You can vote for the best of the MassArt divorce icons, or submit your own, at www.boston.com. 
