The right move?

Everything was perfect until I got a phone call one day. My dream job was being offered to me. I have wanted this job for my entire career (more than 10 years). It was an opportunity I couldn’t turn down. I took the job. I packed up my stuff and after a lot of tears hopped on a plane for Boston. It was heartbreaking for both of us, but something inside me told me that if we were strong enough and truly loved each other it would work out.

I’ve now been in Boston for a month, and I feel lost. The job is everything I wanted and more, but without him here to share my life with, I hurt. I’m sure the big question is, “Well, why doesn’t he move here?’’ He says he is trying to find a job here, but sometimes I question it because I know he’s not a fan of Boston. I know there is a part of him that feels like I abandoned him - like I chose the job over him. I have told him over and over again that I just need to reach my goal by doing this job and that after a few years of it I will move back (I had to sign an agreement with my job to stay for at least two years).

How can I make him see that, yes, the job is important to me, but that he is too? How do you know when a long-distance relationship won’t work? Can love truly conquer all in the end?

BLUE IN BOSTON

A. Good for you for finding the job of your dreams in this economy. We both know you did the right thing. Nothing in your letter suggests that you regret your decision to move.

All you can do now is see your dream man as much as possible and take him on his word. If he says he’s looking for jobs in Boston, he probably is. If he’s not, that’s OK too. At this point, both of you should be taking this one day at a time.

If he’s the man of your dreams and he really knows you, he probably understands and respects your decision. He knows that if you had stayed, the relationship would have been more at risk because of resentment.

Here’s the thing to remember - it’s only month one. There would have been a lonely, lost transition period in Boston even if you had moved here single. It takes a while to feel comfortable in a new setting. I fear that you’re mistaking your new-home anxiety for relationship insecurity.

This is so, so new. Give yourself and your relationship time to reset and adjust to new circumstances. Try to make long trips - four days as opposed to two.

Take a deep breath and see how it feels after month three. You did what you needed to do. Now you have to wait and see how your relationship plays out over time. I’m not sure love conquers all, but it conquers a lot.

Go take a walk in your new city, call your dream man, and tell him how pretty New England looks in October.

MEREDITH

Not that long ago it was standard for women to follow men around in their careers like sheep - thankfully before my time. Now, men and women make equal compromises and I think it’s great! I totally agree with Meredith. Pursue your dreams and give it your all for a while longer. CBAE

There’s nothing wrong with putting your career first. You’ll just have to learn to accept lonely nights on the couch with your cats. SCHLIPPO

I can’t think of a single job I’ve ever had that would be more important than finding that special someone to share your hopes, dreams, and love with. Are you a pro athlete? Politician? Game show host? STEVEBO

He’ll either warm up to Boston or stay put where he is. Either way, congrats on the dream job. Try to settle in here. Join a club and make some Bostonian friends. If he loves you, he’ll show up.

SABRINAADENA

Edited and reprinted from www.boston.com/loveletters. Meredith Goldstein can be reached at mgoldstein@globe.com. She chats online today at 1 p.m.