Q: My significant other says she does not like my immediate family. She states that when we are married, should they take ill we will not send them money to help them until they have asked all of the other members of the family to help first.
I care deeply for my significant other whom has been an incredible person to me, but am worried about the long term effects as I have always thought that the "kids" would have to be around for the parents. Is it normal for the significant other to almost despise future inlaws and if so can it be fixed?
-- VikingYachts, Las Vegas
I hate to be a pessimist, but opposing philosophies about family and money often end marriages (just ask anyone who’s divorced).
I’m sure your significant other is great to you when it comes to dinners out and movies in, but in a decade or so when there are more health issues and financial questions, will you want her at your side?
There is a potential fix to this – maybe the money you use to support your family can come from only you, not her, assuming she has her own stream of income. Maybe you’ll be content keeping separate accounts and having separate priorities. But really, is that the kind of relationship you want? If so, perhaps it’s worth making an appointment with a financial counselor who can help you separate your money and your needs without separating from each other.
But really, take some time to think about what your future will look like if you're with someone who doesn't like (or want to help) the people you love.
Readers? Am I right? Thoughts for Mr. Viking? Share them here.
Also, for those who missed Mitch, here's his problem -- and your solutions for him.
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Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.