An office fling with potential? You decide.
I have a problem, obviously. I keep a busy schedule and don't often go out and meet women. Instead, what I find happening is that I tend to sleep / spend time with co-workers. While this hasn't caused any problems -- either small or large -- within my workplace it does leave me with a problem. Recently I hooked up with this girl who I work with and I have developed feelings for her. We get along well, both at work and outside, and seem to have similar interests. I truly think she is a beautiful woman and would like nothing more than to spend time with her outside our respective bedrooms or offices. I haven't "dated" anyone in a very long time and she says that she does not want a boyfriend right now and I respect that. My problem is that I am tired of being a warm body and want to have someone in my life I can be with, but, I also feel like if I let this girl go then I'll regret it. I'd like to spend more time outside of work with her but I don't want to pressure her into anything and risk blowing it all together. Any advice?
-- Raindrops, Medford
A: Raindrops – I’ll try not to ask where you work even though I’m quite curious. Fidelity? State Street? MGH? Where can you get away with sleeping with a number of co-workers at once?
You’re lucky this is the first problem you’ve had dating in the workplace. Often, these relationships don't end well, especially when they're about sex, not love.
I think you have to be very clear with her about your intentions. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you want to have a real relationship with her. I mean, you’ve bedded her co-workers. How is she supposed to know she’s any different than your other conquests? It’s your job to tell her your feelings are genuine and that she’s different than the others.
If she tells you she just wants a warm body, perhaps you should let her be so that you can take some time out of your busy schedule to look for a real partner. You seem to be ready.
Recent blog posts
Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.