Help me help Curious.
Q: Hi Meredith, column is great by the way. I have been in a relationship for 10 months now. We have gotten along so well -- have had disagreements but no real arguments. The other day my significant other called from home wanting to talk, but I couldn't as I was on a call for work. I called back later again and again, also texting and e-mailing to no avail. I have been getting the cold shoulder for five days now, with just texts on how disappointed he is and how he misjudged me. He won't tell me what is wrong, doesn't want to speak to me, I am heartbroken. I didn't lie, cheat or steal. What are your thoughts on this?
A: Curious, if I were you, I’d be more than curious. I’d be out of my mind, and I’d probably be sitting on his doorstep.
After 10 months, you have every right to expect honesty and explanations. If you did something wrong and he’s angry about it – if there was a cheat, a steal, a lie, an STD -- he’s supposed to explain that to you, not taunt you with accusing texts.
All you can do is leave a message – a last message – telling him (in a calm, honest voice) that you’re puzzled and upset beyond belief, that you have no idea why he’s disappointed and angry, and that you’d like to talk about it.
If he can’t manage honesty and an adult conversation after that, start breaking up with him in your mind. I understand that 10 months is a long time, but if this is how he deals with a major conflict, there’s no future. Unless you liquidated his bank account and invested the money in GM, there’s no reason for him to be shunning you like this.
Readers? Agree? What do you think Curious did that warrants this behavior? Should she wait on his doorstep? Is there any excuse for his mega-shun? Share your thoughts for Curious here. Read about break-up songs, Facebook cheats, and dating the exes of friends here. Submit your own quandary here.
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Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.