Help this newcomer figure out how to deal with a local.
Q: I recently moved to Boston from overseas. Other than the people I work with I do not know too many people. I have been casually dating someone for over the past month. We would see each other 2 or 3 times a week. On Sunday I told her that I really liked her, that I wanted more than just casual dating and that I wanted to be her boyfriend. She is now not talking to me. I have called her a couple of times and left messages but there has been no response. Coming from a rural area back home, if a girl is interested, she would say or not. Did I push things too fast? I am worried that I asked too much too soon due to not really having too many other people to hang out with. Is there some way I can make things back to where they were or should I just give it time?
-- Overseas Guy, Cambridge
A: Overseas Guy, some of our readers are going to tell you that she’s just not that into you. I'd have to agree with them. Sorry. You deserve better.
After a month of hanging out two or three times a week, you weren’t overstepping any boundaries by making your intentions clear and asking for exclusivity. Many women wish for that type of honesty and commitment from a man.
And really, if it was too soon, she could have told you so instead of disappearing.
It sounds as though this woman is to be dismissed, at least for now. Perhaps you're both young, but even 20somethings should be capable of explaining themselves.
I think your free time would be better spent developing a community of new friends in Boston. Try MeetUp.com. Join a few clubs. That way, the next time you meet someone you like, you won’t have to worry about feeling needy or committing for the wrong reasons. Plus, you'll have some nice people to run to if it doesn't work out.
And don’t give up on Boston women. We’re not so bad.
Readers? Will this woman resurface for Overseas Guy? Did he get serious too soon? Share your thoughts here. Submit a letter to the right. And remember to chat with me Wednesday at 1 p.m. I’m still on the West Coast, so for me, the chat will be nice and early.