Wrong, wrong, wrong. Help.
Q: Does anyone have any experience with a partner who seemingly is always right and consistently says "no" as the very first word in the initial response to something you said or discussed? My girlfriend seems to think no matter what I may say or have an opinion about that it is wrong. We are new to this relationship and everything has been going very well so far, but this is a constant quirk that baffles me to no end. We have had several major arguments out of the blue over the stupidest trivial subjects recently. Most times, if she starts a conversation and gives opinions and the like, I don't bother with a response in lieu of a potentially stupid argument. I really like her and see this as potentially long term. Having been out of a long term relationship for a very long time, I am not sure on how to read this one....
-- Baffled, Westford
A: Baffled, why are you being so stupid about this?
Kidding, kidding. You’re not wrong.
Some people are more defensive than others. Some people like to fight. The dating process is all about figuring out whether a person’s quirks are manageable. It’s also about calling people out when their habits stand in the way of your sanity.
You shouldn’t have to avoid speaking your mind to steer clear of a conflict. I think it’s time to have a calm chat with her about how you feel. She might fly off the handle (that would be her way, right?), but perhaps she’s heard this complaint before and might be willing to pay more attention to the confrontational behavior.
If not, well … perhaps when you say there’s long-term potential here, you are, in fact, wrong.
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Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.