Do vacation romances ever last?
Q: I met this guy while vacationing in the Virgin Islands who was working for the National Parks as a lifeguard on St. Johns and we hit it off from the beginning. I hung out with him the rest of the week on my vacation, visited him again when he invited me down, and he also made a trip to come see me in Boston. Now, I'm not a fan of long-distance relationships and to be honest, never considered us in a relationship ... we were "just having fun" with no strings attached, especially since he was going through a divorce at the time and left his wife and child behind for a life on the islands.
When he returned to the states, he asked -- better yet, begged me to come down and visit him in the OBX. We agreed on the dates even though he kept insisting I come visit earlier so he could see me sooner.
Anyhow, the week before I was supposed to leave to visit him, he was becoming more and more distant, harder to get a hold of and only texted back one-word answers. I asked him what was up and he said nothing. A few days before I was supposed to leave, he just quit talking to me all together. I left messages, texted him, AND sent him an email ... sounds psycho, right? Well, I guarantee you that I am not but I wanted to know what the hell happened.
To make a long story short, I never made the trip and never heard from him again even as I continued to try and get a hold of him. Most people would say, "Forget the guy, he's a dirtbag," but I can't let this go. Why did he do that to me? I know for a fact that he is alive and well so nothing happened to him but why couldn't he tell me that he didn't want to see me again or whatever the explanation is. I am still haunted by this whole scenario.
A: CAAHG, I'm picturing your guy as Paul Rudd in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” Sun visor. Shaggy hair. Surf board. Wait … let’s get a visual.
I’m just throwing out guesses here but … maybe the wife came back? Maybe the child came back? Maybe he met another cute vacationer?
The crumby thing about this one is that you had it in perspective. Your expectations were appropriately managed and he demanded more. Quite confusing. And annoying.
I guess this type of selfish behavior is all you can expect from a guy who ditches his wife and kid for a “life on the island.” As for why he did this to you, well, you said it best -- he’s a dirtbag. This is what dirtbags do.
I know it’s easier said than done, but assume you dodged a bullet. Start saving for your next vacation. Maybe Barcelona? Paris? If you’re going to meet a cute jerk, he should at least have a great accent.
Sorry, though. I hope you didn’t lose money on the trip you didn’t get to take.
Readers? Agree? We’re about 500 comments away from 10,000 (yes, I was overexcited on Tuesday and jumped the gun by mentioning it). Share your thoughts here (and please include your own vacation romance stories. I want to live vicariously.). Twitter here. If you’re bored at work, take my Love Letters quiz here.
Recent blog posts
Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.