Do you know what I love? Letters that start like this: “So I met this guy at a pool party.”
This letter isn’t very deep, but I’m pretty sure it’s from a young reader (I'm guessing very early 20s?). And I think it’s our duty to help young Love Letters readers. I believe they’re our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posses inside. Give them a sense of pride. And so on.
(P.S. I’m off today, spending the afternoon at the Westport Rivers Winery – a “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” sort of thing. I apologize in advance if it takes a bit for comments to post. Boston Globe interns are working on them as fast as they can. You can send me Twitter messages while I sip Riesling here. Feel free to keep me posted.)
Q: Hi Meredith,
So I met this guy at a pool party on Sunday and we seemed to really connect. He said all these things -- like he hadn’t had a girlfriend in years and that he could see himself with me. He even talked about how I had the X-factor and all this stuff. I wasn’t initially super attracted to him, but he made me believe in this plan that he had for the two of us. We kissed at the end of the night and I went home. We did not hook up.
Anyway, I ended up getting his number, and I texted him the next day because he didn’t have my number (his phone had died). We went back and forth a few times but that was the last I heard from him. For some reason, this is really getting to me. I don't understand why a guy would go to so much trouble to never call me? Was it just a ploy to take me home?
He just seemed genuinely interested …
P.S. Love your column and I read it everyday.
-- Confused, Melrose
A: Confused, you must have skipped Love Letters the day I announced a ban on signing letters as “Confused.” Too many people use that name, so I banned it. Just so you know. Now, some advice …
1. Anyone who uses the phrase “X-factor” in regards to dating is an idiot.
2. Some guys like to get phone numbers even if they don’t plan on using them. Maybe he’s not really single. Maybe he just wanted to see if he could get your number. Regardless, see point 1 – he is an idiot.
3. The next time you’re at a pool party and meet a guy who tells you he has plans for your future (even though he doesn’t know you), take a look around and see if there’s a shy guy in the corner looking your way. Stop what you’re doing and go talk to that shy guy. If you give him your number, he might just use it.
5. See point 1 again. I can’t believe he said “X-factor.” I’m embarrassed for him. You lost nothing here. You’ve just learned that dating can be a game, and that real intimacy grows over time. Try not to get attached to the idea of someone until they prove they can show up.
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Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.