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I am not a rock star

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  August 17, 2009 10:31 AM

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Good morning. I received this letter on Friday, so it’s possible that the writer’s situation has already blown up in his face -- but let’s help him anyway.

For those who doubt him, I Googled his e-mail address and he is who he says he is. He is, in fact, a local musician. Enjoy this one.

Q: Alright Meredith, I have a very peculiar predicament that everyone will probably get a good laugh out of (or I am going to take a ton of flak for this). Let me start with a little background info here. It gets to the dating question eventually — just bear with it:

I am moving out of my current neighborhood in Boston to a little more suburban scene with a couple friends. I was the point man for communications with our landlord and realtor during our tenure at our current apartment. The realtor came over to take pictures of our apartment for the rental website and I casually mentioned, after conversation and the realtor spotting my several guitars and keyboards/recording equipment in my room (I didn’t just bring it up, I'm not that lame), that I have been contacted by a couple local record companies about some of my songs, which is true.

Fast forward to the next day. The realtor asked me if he could swing by the apartment with two girls to look at the place. They came to look at the apartment, and one of the girls and myself had a bit of a connection and started flirting while I was showing them mi casa. The realtor, out of no-where, drops a bomb that I had just signed a record deal and am moving to NYC/going on tour, which is why I am moving out. Ridiculous, but believable, so I decided to run with it. I even ended up signing an autograph for the kid!!!

The two girls decided they wanted to take the apartment and asked the realtor if they could show the apt. to their third roommate later that night. The realtor couldn’t do it, so I said I will be there and swing in whenever, I will pick up beers and burgers and lets make it a party.

Long story short, after several Coronas, a quick set of some of my songs on the roof deck (which overlooks the Boston skyline) and a trip to a local watering hole, we locked lips. I may or may not have dropped one of the best lines in recent man history: "How would you like to spend your first night in your new apartment?" I really didn’t think it was going to work, but "just think of the story it will make" was running through my head, classic guy flaw. Well, needless to say, it actually worked and the next morning I was tossing back and forth on just being upfront with her about this redonkulous lie while she was trying to find her pants.

A lot of stuff going on here and I hope you could follow, but here's the predicament: She thinks I am moving to NYC in the next two weeks to become a rock star. I just figured nothing would seriously happen so I went along with this snowball. We have hung out several times since then and I may actually like this Chiquita. I feel real bad about having to keep this whole facade up. We have another date planned and I am wondering if it is better to know or not to know ... Quite a quandary for you Goldstein, but let me have it …

– Dread Zeppelin, Boston

A:DZ, yes, the apartment line is one of the best I’ve heard in a long time. But let’s focus on your “redonkulous” lie.

You have two options. You can continue the lie by telling her that the record label dropped you and that you’re sticking around.

Or you can tell her the truth -- that you fibbed because it felt nice to be a rock star for a few days.

If you go with truth, which I recommend, try to be as flattering as possible. Tell her you were so excited by her initial interest that you continued the lie just to keep her around. Tell her you feared she would bail if she knew you were just some local singer-songwriter. Tell her you’re desperate to continue getting to know her. Write her a song. Play it for her. Then beg.

She should run. Fast. I mean, the initial lie is sort of cute and forgivable, but the fact that you kept it going to get her to go home with you is manipulative and creepy.

Maybe she'll have a sense of humor about it. Maybe she'll just be psyched that you're sticking around. Maybe she’ll say to herself, “If I wind up spending the rest of my life with this guy, just think of the story it will make.” Classic gal flaw.

Readers? Would you keep him around after finding out that he lied about New York? Have you ever been in such a tangled web? Share here.

– Meredith

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224 comments so far...
  1. LOL Crazy SOB

    Posted by John Stamos August 17, 09 10:47 AM
  1. Honestly? She's not going to forgive you. Let her go (without explaining the truth) and enjoy telling this story for the next 25 years (with names changed to protect the innocent, of course). She will think you ran off to your new life in NYC, and gets to tell her pals about her brush with fame.

    Live by the Big Pickup Lie, die by the Big Pickup Lie...

    Posted by Q August 17, 09 10:50 AM
  1. manipulative and creepy because some attention-seeking woman decided to spend the night with a guy who she thought was going to become a rock star? it's a bit creepy to me that a woman would firstly be taken by a story like that, and secondly sleep with a guy she 'knows' is moving away and would forget about her a couple weeks later.

    bravo, dread, you took advantage of a girl's stupidity who was probably throwing herself at guys left and right to begin with if they were "like, really, really cool." can't blame him for that.

    Posted by PFC August 17, 09 10:52 AM
  1. WOWZER! There's one for the books..

    If you're starting to really fall for this girl and are seeing it as something more serious, than just tell her what's really up. If you care for her, you will want her to know the reality of you and your situation.

    The sooner, the better.

    Posted by EastCoastGirl August 17, 09 10:54 AM
  1. It all comes down to how much you like this girl. If it was just a fling then just let it go, if you think she is a real possible long term GF then def tell her the truth and hope for the best..

    Posted by techdood August 17, 09 10:54 AM
  1. So if she thinks you are moving, why are you going on dates? And why do you have to explain, since she thinks you are leaving? Hurting her feelings to rid yourself of guilt is not the solution.

    You cannot date her. Have a goodbye date and then don't call her again. She will be ok thinking you are far far away and an honest person. Spare her feelings.

    Posted by summa! baby bumma! August 17, 09 11:00 AM
  1. Tell her the truth, If she only slept with you because she thought you were a rock star who was moving to NYC, then she's just as shallow as you were by perpetuating the lie, so you wouldn't want to date her anyway....

    Posted by Kara August 17, 09 11:01 AM
  1. This letter is one of the funnier ones I've read. If you actually like this Chiquita and want to continue to date her then you should tell her the truth. If not you'll have too many lies to keep track of. Hopefully she went out with you because she liked you and not just because she thought you were going to be a big city rock star. Who knows, maybe she'll think it was funny too. At least you didn't add "with a rock star" after your classic line to get her to spend the night.

    Posted by bgcomreader August 17, 09 11:02 AM
  1. Either one fo two things could work here.

    1) Advice #2 from "Q" works well. That is, unless you want to try my other option.

    2) You tell her that you want to stick around the area because you can be happy living in the Boston area and keep a little music biz on the side enough to maintain a position in the NY scene without having to actually be there, because you like it here in Boston more. So, you're moving out because she's already signed the lease and you're going to crash with your friends in the burbs for a while instead....until you decide what your exact next move is. But,whatever it is, you're sticking around the Boston Metro area because it's home, and hey, you just met a great girl that just might make it worth it to stay here anyway.

    Posted by Craig August 17, 09 11:04 AM
  1. She wasn't looking for anything serious or she wouldn't have gotten involved with a guy who was moving to NYC at the end of the month. So you'll gain nothing by telling her since it won't lead to a relationship anyway. And to top it off, she's going to be super POed when she finds out you lied to her for so long.

    I would just stick with the lie and tell her you'll look her up next time you're in Boston, and move on. Telling her the truth is selfish at this point and will just hurt her.

    Posted by laurahere August 17, 09 11:04 AM
  1. I'm not sure it's entirely this guy's fault -- it was the realtor who made up the story in the first place. My guess is he did it so the 3 girls would want to rent the former apartment of a budding rock star.

    Ultimately this "relationship" is doomed -- so why not have some fun with it? Keep the facade up as long as you can -- pile lie upon lie. Do and say anything to keep her interested in you. Even disappear for a couple of weeks, and then "return" saying "it didn't work out". It's all eventually going to blow up in your face, so keep going so you can have a better & better story to tell. After all, how many people get to live the life of a "rock star"?

    Posted by Alvin August 17, 09 11:07 AM
  1. Realtor should be capitalized, FYI.

    Posted by Editor August 17, 09 11:10 AM
  1. I hope she doesn't read this column!

    Posted by Amused August 17, 09 11:10 AM
  1. First of all. The line is hilarious. Good work, my friend. Now, you need to tell her the truth. I agree with Meredith on this one. It is kind of creepy that you went along with the lie and ended up in the sheets with her... But in all honesty, I don't think it's all that big of a deal. I mean...she decided to sleep over-- and if she only did it because she thought you were going to become famous...that kinda makes her look like a skizank.

    So, just tell her that you went along with the lie, but you didn't mean any harm by it. Be honest and tell her that you actually dig her and you want to see where things go.

    I bet you she'll be game.

    Keep us posted! Good luck!

    Posted by Kristen August 17, 09 11:10 AM
  1. wow, you are such a d-bag. reason #7029834092 why (some) boys suck. (i say "boys" because that's exactly what you are). what's worse is that there are girls out there who believe this garbage. rockstar? yeah, okay... and i'm miss america.

    Posted by britney spears August 17, 09 11:11 AM
  1. I doubt she even thought you were serious. She probably slept with you like she would sleep with anyone after a few beers and a burger...

    Posted by johnny rotten August 17, 09 11:12 AM
  1. If you are willing to lose her (since you only think you "may actually like" her), then tell her. If she leaves, she leaves. If not, then you have a great meet-cute story for the rest of your relationship.

    I'd also think I'd consider keeping you around depending on how deep in the lie you have gotten. If it's really never come up much past that first meeting with the realtor, that is one thing. But if you were pretending you were Mick Jagger circa 1967 in the clubs all weekend, then I think I'd maybe say "see you later."

    Posted by elinnz August 17, 09 11:12 AM
  1. Blame the realtor, then deny, deny, deny.

    Posted by Juggernaut August 17, 09 11:12 AM
  1. This is actually pretty funny. If you really like her, just fess up and tell her the truth. Hopefully she'll find it amusing. I would hope that the reason she started hanging out with you has nothing to do with thinking you are a "rock star". If it did, she's probably not someone you need to continue to hang out with anyway.

    Posted by bumbly-bee August 17, 09 11:14 AM
  1. There's pretty much no hope with her, here. If you tell her the truth she's going to bail, and if you don't, it's only a matter of time until she finds out, wants to kill you, and bails. You should of never let things gotten that far before you told her the truth. Maybe you can tell her the truth right away and sweet talk her, but I'm not optimistic.

    Let her go (without the truth), and live and learn.

    Posted by two sheds August 17, 09 11:16 AM
  1. I have to say some women are just swoon by musicians. I bet the lie initially drew her in but the roof top jam session probably sealed the deal. She may decide to stick around. You are quick on your feet! I think it is a fun story either way. Sing her a song explaining what happened and it may soften her anger.

    Posted by Jazzed August 17, 09 11:19 AM
  1. I think you should move to New York and try to become a rock star.

    Posted by Jules August 17, 09 11:19 AM
  1. Dude.....that's the best pickup line ever!!!!

    Honestly, I would tell her the truth, and see where it takes you. If she can look past the lie, you have the girl, and take it one step at a time, but, if she tells you to go screw, you have a GREAT story......either way, you can't lose!

    Honestly, i'm interested in how this turns out, can you or meredith write back with a little update!!

    Posted by Kris August 17, 09 11:21 AM
  1. It's not clear to me how much you simply failed to correct a misstatement by the real estate agent about your moving to NYC, or whether you actually went with and embellished it later on. If the former, and it never really came up again, then I think it could still be overcome. If you answered lots of questions about your move to NYC so that it became your own series of lies, that is worse and maybe unfixable.

    A related issue: You should just let her go. She's a groupie -- not there's anything wrong with that. Someone who slept with you because you seemed to be a rock star when she believed you were leaving town for good soon is not actually worth working this hard at. Neither one you has exactly covered yourself in glory here. So you should both just walk away. You maybe could actually like her? Okay, but you're a budding rock star. You are going to get more than a fair shot at lots of women for at least the next few years. Find someone else you could maybe actually like, and then try to start it out the right way. I think it is very hard to start out one way and then turn it into something else (although many people will have anecdotal evidence to the contrary -- my mom and dad were a one night stand and married 80 years!! --- it isn't ideal, and all things being equal you're better off not starting that way. just enjoy your rock star period and forget all about having a steady girlfriend until that flames out or you are older and ready to settle down with your millions.

    Posted by JC August 17, 09 11:22 AM
  1. This is grand!

    I recommend telling her the whole thing. The realtor exaggerated. You rolled. There was recently a bit on NPR (This American Life) about similar stories, where people maintain an assumption because telling the truth when an assumption is made gets progressively more socially awkward. (Correcting people can seem rude in certain contexts, but then you're carrying on a lie. Perhaps you can weather the lie and save everyone's face, but sometimes it blows up, like here.)

    Play up some self deprecating humor, that you're not a rock star, (perhaps you fancy yourself as something else?). Clarify the truth, that there was some truth in what the realtor said but the realtor bungled it, and perhaps you didn't want to correct him in front of other people (a mistake I have made and learned from). Realtors often want to exaggerate positives and downplay negatives, and perhaps that lead to his statement. Then explain your role--I might avoid getting into how much you liked being thought of as a Rock Star (even if true) just for now. If she asks, respond truthfully and perhaps with humor, but maybe don't volunteer that, yet. But do confess that you want to come clean, you're sorry, and you found her so immediately charming that it made things harder in the moment.

    But yes, if you're thinking anything possibly remotely serious, I believe you will be better served by telling her the truth. Consider: what are the benefits and costs of lying? What are the benefits of telling the truth? Lying has a large long term cost, and the missed opportunity to check out her psyche a bit out here.

    Remember that episode of 30 Rock where Lemon's catches her BF on the street eating ice cream? That's the cost you risk paying if you don't come clean. There's a large gain to be made by coming clean. I liked Mere's suggestions.

    Posted by Mario August 17, 09 11:25 AM
  1. Penny Lane: You're too sweet for rock and roll.
    William Miller: Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and *pissed off*! And I could be very dangerous to all of you! You should know that about me... I am *the enemy*!

    Posted by dan August 17, 09 11:25 AM
  1. Just do the "jedi-mind trick" on her, and when she says something about NYC give her an odd look and say "what are you talking about, I am moving to the suburbs" ... when she replies about NYC back make it look like she is crazy and that you never said that, girls have small brains - she will think she misunderstood you from teh start.

    Posted by Jack August 17, 09 11:26 AM
  1. Wow, your realtor is awesome. He lobbed you an easy one, and you hit a homer. Team effort LOL!

    But as someone pointed out earlier - if she is under the impression you were leaving in two weeks, obviously she was not looking for a long termer. Play it up until you actually move, then just let it go. It was fun for the both of you, no need for either of you to come off looking bad/hurt.

    Posted by Joel R. August 17, 09 11:26 AM
  1. William Miller: "That groupie"? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!

    Posted by dan August 17, 09 11:26 AM
  1. You use words like 'redonkiculous' and 'Chiquita'. That's a much bigger problem than your current predicament.

    Also, get yourself tested. If this girl fell into bed that fast over a super lame musician act and an incredibly trite line, I can't even imagine where she's been.

    Posted by Rae August 17, 09 11:28 AM
  1. Can anyone say screenplay? Literally laughed out loud when I read this, one of the best/worst lines I've ever heard. If you like her tell the truth. If not have fun and don't worry about it. Don't forget, as others have mentioned, she did the deed thinking you were a budding star. Smells like kind of a groupie to me. Apologies to the real poets on this board:

    Empty flat rented
    Rooftop groupie rendevous
    Smells like teen spirit

    Posted by BrnHrnt August 17, 09 11:32 AM
  1. Still got that realtors phone #?

    Because I have a Soloflex sitting in the corner of my spare bedroom and I'm....ahh......thisclose.....to......ahh......being signed by the Patriots. Yeah, Patriots.

    Just tell her to hold onto that autograph. You never know.

    Posted by bohica August 17, 09 11:33 AM
  1. No one likes a liar, especially when sex is involved.

    Be prepared to give her the name and phone number of a REAL rock star when she finds out, or you tell her, the truth.

    Posted by TallGirl August 17, 09 11:35 AM
  1. Eh, I'm of the mind that most relationships start out with little lies of some sort, to make us seem more attractive (Miracle Bra and Spanx, anyone?). So - particularly considering the Realtor started it - I would file this under "harmless" ...

    UNLESS... every time you've hung out since, you've embellished the lie and reinforced it. Such as talking about your fabulous penthouse in NYC. Or describing your (purely fictitious) record manager and contract. If the subject has not come up again, then you are on safer ground here - provided you tell her the truth TODAY and don't continue to drag this deception out a moment longer.

    If you want to continue dating her, and you think there's potential for a relationship, of course you have to come clean now. And who knows... maybe she continues to hang out with you because she likes you and it has nothing to do with you being a Rock Star? You won't find out unless you come clean.

    But even if you didn't want to continue dating her, you probably should come clean, unless you never want to play a gig in town again, and want to hide out in the 'burbs the rest of your life. She will eventually run into you. She will eventually find out the truth. It's such a small world. She's not stupid, she can check up on your band online. She will find out the truth, no matter what. Better that it comes from you.

    Really, the question here isn't whether the truth should come out. The question is how and when it should come out.

    P.s. be prepared to uncover a lie of her own... maybe she's not really 20-something afterall... maybe her boyfriend lands in Boston in two weeks... maybe she has an STD she's not telling you about...

    Posted by Anecdotal Evidence August 17, 09 11:35 AM
  1. Eh, why is this a big deal? Look, a person who sleeps with another after knowing him/her for a few hours is not doing so based on any deep personal connection. They are not doing it because they have a strong moral compass and they trust the other person.

    (This goes for both the LW and the woman here -- let's not jump on the "what a slut she just wanted a rockstar" bandwagon of woman-bashing, please. She wanted a rockstar, and he wanted a groupie. They are pretty even here.)

    So my point? This is not as big a deal as Mere says. You each knew each other for a few hours and the connection at first was entirely superficial. Anyone willing to take that risk should know the risk -- that all may not be as it seems. If sex is based on trust and honesty, it doesn't happen after only a few hours. This was not that situation.

    So approach it with her as a funny story. "Hey, I'm getting to really like you, so I want to be honest. The Realtor exaggerated my situation -- I've got record companies interested but no deal yet. I should have corrected that right away but I have to admit, it was such a nice image! It's what I'm hoping for soon, but it isn't reality yet."

    Posted by jlen August 17, 09 11:36 AM
  1. I'm with 19...Just be like "I never said that"...and "the realtor's comment just went over my head - never thought you took it seriously"....Unless of course, you continued the lie in following conversations...then it's your fault and you need to rectify it. But then she slept with you anyway, knowing (thinking) you were going away to NY, so may she was just looking for a way to christen her new apartment with no lasting ties.
    P.S. what kind of fruitloop realtor do you have anyway?

    Posted by Me August 17, 09 11:37 AM
  1. juggernaut had it right. deny till you die.

    Posted by ari gold August 17, 09 11:38 AM
  1. Being a female - and a 34 year old one that is still not opposed to going with the flow the way this girl did - and having a sense of humor - I say tell her. She should get a good laugh out of it. If she was planning on making off with your future riches, then she sucks anyway. But its not like she was looking at bridal magazine's given your impending 'tour'. I don't really think its anything to get that pissed off over. And that line is cheesy - original - and fabulous!

    Posted by whatthehellshouldidoatworktoday? August 17, 09 11:39 AM
  1. Tell her the truth because it's on your conscience and things like that don't fade with time. Do you really want to feel a sear of guilt every time you think of this situation? If she sticks around after you tell her the truth, then lucky you -- except I think you won't want her to stick around because you'll feel like a dope around her. If she doesn't stick around, well you've still done "the right thing" and can sleep with a clear(er) conscience. It's never too late to right a wrong. You might also get a big surprise if she says she knew all along you weren't a rock star.

    Posted by dotherightthing August 17, 09 11:39 AM
  1. Live the lie. It takes a long time to become a rock star. Don't phone her for a week and say you were in NYC playing the scene. When you feel like she is catching on, confess that you had creative differences with the studio who wanted you to be more poppy and you quit. Tell her you have been uneasy about this for a bit (which will explain your recent sketchy behavior). It's a win win win.

    Posted by Tom August 17, 09 11:41 AM
  1. Hilarious!
    To be honest, I'm not sure who I'm rooting for here .........if Chiquita had written this letter I'd be telling her to run run run.....but since you're the LW, good luck Dread!

    When you tell the story is seems almost cute and charming - you know, don't hate the playa type of stuff - then I imagine it from Chiquita's perspective. She probably told her friends all about the cute soon to be famous guy she was kinda (but not really) seeing. How awkward. For the sake of her self-respect, pride, and need to maintain ‘girl cred’ , Chiquita might feel she has to dump you.

    Having said that - here's my advice to you if you want to try to move forward. Have an in person conversation and start off with the most important message – you’re starting to think this could be something serious. If she says she’s feeling the same way then you are halfway there. Spend a few minutes talking about some of the fun things you’ve done together or witnessed and a reason or two why you think the two of you have potential (example: “No one gets me like you do – I’m all deep and musical and stuff, and you UNDERSTAND me”).

    Once you’ve enjoyed that nice moment, tell her the truth. Emphasize that you were too embarrassed and caught off guard to correct the real estate agent’s exaggeration when he first said it – and then it just snowballed. Tell her that you’re embarrassed and sorry and hope that she is still willing to see you even though you are just a Boston local band scene guy instead of a NYC bound rock star.

    One question though – I was confused by the word ‘kid’ in your letter. You say there were two girls who were being shown your casa, then you say you signed an autograph for one of the kids. What’s the age difference here?

    Posted by Monty August 17, 09 11:41 AM
  1. Ugh, redonkulous, chiquita. If she can put up with you being a d-bag and using these terms she can put up with the truth. Her loss if she sticks around.

    ...that was a pretty good line though.

    Posted by Pablo Picasso August 17, 09 11:41 AM
  1. Interesting way to start off a Monday on LL! So - the LW perpetuated the lie that the realtor told, and now he likes this girl and potentially wants to continue the relationship. Just tell her. IF she forgives him and also wants to continue the relationship, that's the only way to move forward. Otherwise, the entire relationship will be based on a lie (especially if the LW tells her he "lost the record contract" or another lie).

    However, the fact that this girl slept with the LW after knowing him for all of 4-5 hours doesn't say a whole lot for her either. Maybe she was using him as much as he was using her.

    But if the LW likes her, he should tell her. If she walks, she walks. If she doesn't, then you have a great "how we met" story.

    (And note to "Editor - #13 - in this case, the word "realtor" shouldn't be capitalized, as you have no idea if this particular realtor was a member of the National Association of Realtors - only then should it be capitalized, as it's a service mark for those members.)

    Posted by Linda August 17, 09 11:42 AM
  1. Nice line! I'll have to remember that one...

    I've actually gotten myself into a similar situation (I am a musician, but not a STAR and lied a bit about how famous I was in order to get a girl) and the best thing you can do is continue to follow the rock star way: get out of there!

    You already got everything you could out of your lie... now the best thing you can do is continue the lie and disappear and the girl will be none the wiser and have a great story of how she once slept with a rockstar. Rockstars don't get attached! Get out of there
    Get out of there!

    Posted by Seth August 17, 09 11:42 AM
  1. this is hilarious. If you REALLY like her, come clean. Like Mer says, she might run but you can pursue....not in a creepy stalker way mind you...pursue as in...please please forgive me...what would YOU have done if the broker said that about YOU??!! Don't do the write a song thing.....unless that's the ultimate last hope.Oh yeah, congrats on the whole thing working. Hope the fireworks were worth it.

    finally, please ignore the guy named Rico that posts here. BAN RICO.

    Gas not gears.

    Posted by byubba August 17, 09 11:45 AM
  1. Well, you've already learned how easy & stupid she is and you are thinking seriously about her? Like her, this is a no brainer. Perpetuate the lie and laugh or pity her as you make your way out to the burbs. Even you can do better.

    Three things: 1) when she realizes she's been 'had', she'll be embarrassed and probably move on to some other clunker. 2) watch for the groupie mentality - a never-ending sea of pantiless bimbos. 3) hug your local Realtor.

    Posted by marj August 17, 09 11:46 AM
  1. Tell her the truth, apologize, and don't make excuses.

    Posted by sabend August 17, 09 11:49 AM
  1. Q concurrence.

    Posted by MaryRo August 17, 09 11:51 AM
  1. how were the grilled cheese sandwiches?

    Posted by SoxSupporter August 17, 09 11:51 AM
  1. Sorry-- as a fellow male, I'm too busy applauding your stunt to give any actual advice. Well done!

    Posted by Joey August 17, 09 11:51 AM
  1. I haven't read all the posts yet, but let's be realistic... If you really like her, say so - what the heck do you have to lose??? Other people are saying that you should just let her go - but why not just try out the truth? If she tells you to get lost, you tried. If she laughs and stays with you, you win.

    This sounds like a sit-com to me... If only people would SPEAK up and tell the TRUTH there would be much less drama. Doesn't that drive you crazy when you watch Seinfeld and George is freaking out over the stupidist thing when if he just told the truth it would set him free???

    If she sends you packing (which I don't think she will), you can only learn from the experience... Watch out for little white lies! They come back and bite you in the derriere!!!

    Tell the truth now - you have the power to set it right.

    Oh - and as for the "creep factor" Meredith mentions - who hasn't embellished their mojo a bit? teehee ;)

    Cats not Dogs

    Posted by Rica August 17, 09 11:55 AM
  1. This is a tough one. I can't put all the blame on you considering it was the realtor who fabricated the lie, although you didn't deny it! And let's be realistic - if the girl was willing to jump in bed and roll around the sheets with you, she's not completely innocent.

    I think it depends on how much you like her. Is this a fling? If so, let her go and cut your losses. If you could actually see yourself falling in love with the girl and can't imagine life without her (I'd be surprised if this were the case) then you need to tell the truth and hope for the best. I think if you came clean right away she might give you a chance but keeping up the lie for awhile.... well, it's just rude.

    the trust

    Posted by Dome Foam August 17, 09 11:56 AM
  1. DZ - I think it would be an entirely different story if you had created the lie. The lie was created by the Realtor (I capitalized, thanks to #13) and you failed to correct it. Tell her that you didn't initially correct the lie because you wanted to impress her (which is probably the case). If she really likes you, hopefully she'll just laugh it off and move on. Either way, you gotta tell her the truth and FAST. The longer you drag this out the less amusing she'll find your rock star facade.

    Posted by my first post :) August 17, 09 11:57 AM
  1. Don't worry.

    Either she knew you weren't a rock star when she agreed to spend the night, and willingly had a one-nighter with a guy she knew was a liar, or she really did think you were a rock star, and knows that it's a different girl every night for a dude as rockin' as you. Either way, you're off the hook.


    Posted by Reality Bites August 17, 09 11:59 AM
  1. I wouldn't worry about what to tell her. This details of the situation are unique enough that at least one of the many hundreds of people who read this column will figure out who she is and send her a link to this and she'll supply you with an answer. If she doesn't find out about the letter on her own and you do try to work it out with her, it will eventually get back to her that you wrote to an advice column about her so you'd probably better confess that too while you're at it. If she's sticks with you after all this then you've got a good one (and don't screw up again!)

    Posted by JGeils August 17, 09 12:02 PM
  1. Ew. Dude. Tell her the truth and then tell her you totally understand if she never wants to see you again. And EXPECT that she'll never want to see you again.


    Posted by JRC August 17, 09 12:03 PM
  1. I don't think you can "move" to NYC without her wanting more. If you've been hanging out and having fun, she's going to bring up the possibility of an LDR.

    Come clean. You don't have much of a choice. I don't think you have much of a chance, though. You're coming clean because you're about to get caught, not because you feel guilty. You feel more bad about keeping up the facade than having lied to get her into bed (that it was the landlord's lie is moot - you let her believe it and you KNOW that's why she slept with you). That sounds selfish to me. You've been thinking about yourself this whole time. What a great story YOU'LL have to tell, because this girl had the nerve to believe you. And now that you actually like her, you're more afraid of what YOU might lose rather than what is best for HER.

    If she's in deep she might buy your "honesty," but it's more likely she just slept with you because she thought you were about to be famous, not moving to the suburbs. If it works out, then great, just as long as you treat her like a human being who deserves respect, and not a notch on your bedpost or a character in a story.

    Posted by sometimes August 17, 09 12:07 PM
  1. No one can respect any chick that bangs on the first date. I wonder how many dates she had last week. You should both run!

    Posted by Flash August 17, 09 12:11 PM
  1. fyi - people aren't use "redonkulous" anymore.

    i mean this in the nicest way possible..... but neither one of you sound very bright so this could be a match made in heaven. i think the only way she'd be really pissed after you tell the truth is if she was only using you for your future-rock-star-status. otherwise, it IS kinda cute & funny. either way, we're gonna need an update.

    Posted by polly August 17, 09 12:13 PM
  1. My only advice to you is, if she cruises, you need to keep the realtor as your wing-man. He's gold man! Pure gold!

    Very nice line...

    Posted by Darwin August 17, 09 12:14 PM
  1. The only thing missing at the beginning of this letter is "Dear Penthouse Forum"

    Posted by K August 17, 09 12:14 PM
  1. she's a groupie who wanted to have fun why bother telling her? she's not looking for a long term relationship since she knows youll be moving soon anyways..
    at least you didn't have to throw too many burgers at her..
    if you didn't use condoms get tested asap!
    little chiquita may have left you a departing gift...

    Posted by rick August 17, 09 12:15 PM
  1. Is that story by Mick Jameson Greenwood?

    Posted by Scott Cushing August 17, 09 12:15 PM
  1. If she bails it's because she's a big super slut who didn't care about you in the first place. It's not like you lied about formerly being a woman, or being on trial for killing someone. Being a rock star is a job and if a woman judges a man by his job, she's no better than a common prostitute. So long as you are a generally hard working man with good friends and a solid family, you have nothing to be ashamed about. Do you know how many men stretch the truth - how a paralegal is all of a sudden a defense litigator after a few beers...how a retail manager is suddenly SVP of Supply Chain management...how a flight attendant is a pilot after he realizes it's lot easier to get laid. These things happen all the time. Cough up the truth, and all will be well in the world.

    Posted by Mandy August 17, 09 12:16 PM
  1. Who was it that said "screenplay?" Arguable, this story has *some* parallels to "Hitch" (happy ending) and "About Last Night" (left up in the air). Be glad it's not "Fatal Attraction." Good luck, man!

    Posted by Passing through August 17, 09 12:19 PM
  1. My best friend just told me about how she hooked up with a rock star on his way to NYC. I'm sending her this link.

    Posted by Pissed off Btch August 17, 09 12:19 PM
  1. Oh yea - and on the flip side - maybe this woman isn't as gullible as you think she is... Any guy that tells me he's "moving to NYC to become a rock star" is definitely under suspicion. She probably knows the truth by now, anyway, and is waiting for you to come clean.

    Cats not Dogs

    Posted by Rica August 17, 09 12:20 PM
  1. You're either very young and/or the girls are very young. This whole scene sounds very childish. You show no respect to women (girls) in the way your speak about them so I think you should move to the suburbs, keep strumming your guitar and be a rock-star-wannabe. She decided that she would have a tale to tell should you become famous and maybe hook her up with some cool concert tickets, maybe not even if you're the main attraction. You used and were used. Your pickup line was clever, however, so I give you kudos for it, but only because she fell for it.

    Posted by californiadreamin August 17, 09 12:22 PM
  1. Listen, Mr. Sensitive New Age guy, having regrets are so not "rock n roll." Just rock and roll with it, man! Enjoy it while it lasts. Let's face it - you're calling her a Chiquita so it isn't going to last long anyway.

    Posted by Bob August 17, 09 12:23 PM
  1. DZ,

    I don't think you like this girl. I think you like the way she makes you feel which will no doubt change greatly when she finds out how deceptive you've been. That said, good luck, and cleary if you want a real chance with her get the truth out quickly! Every contact that you'd don't clear things up just puts you that much further in the hole.

    Posted by RDS August 17, 09 12:30 PM
  1. Creepy indeed! It's one thing for the realtor to have played the rock star scenario up, but somewhere between you locking lips with your so-called "chiquita" at your former "mi casa", and her needing to "find her pants" (charming!), you should've just been honest.

    Quite frankly, the fact that you decided to "swing by with burgers and beer" sounds creepy also. Sounds like you were trying (a little too hard) to get lucky with one of the (3) roommates.

    This is actually a perfect follow-up to last week's letter from the so-called "nice guy" asking if he should take on "bad boy" characteristics (ie lie) to embrace an image that he thought women would like so that in effect he can "score" and get a trophy girlfriend. What I told that person...and what applies to you also...is that if you pretend to be someone else and that person falls for this false persona, you now have a person that has not fallen for the real you....so what's the point in the end?

    You seem not to see women as equals (calling them chiquitas is one example of many) and view them as objects to "score", which is why no part of you decided to be honest either that night or the other times you've hung out with her since.

    It's time to face the facts....you are a liar and now only because you want to keep Miss Chiquita around a little more and also realize your lie will be obvious soon (when she sees you're not moving to NYC and going on tour), only now are you squirming with this lie that you have dragged out.

    Let's be real here....your real issue isn't the white lie your realtor told (and that you perpetuated), the real issue is your attitude about yourself (full of yourself) and your attitude towards women in general that revolves around seeing them as objects to fulfill YOUR needs. If you want to get on the right path, start showing women some respect (ie be honest) and stop looking at every opportunity as a chance to score (leave the beers at home)....and just maybe you won't have to deal with the "stress of keeping up a facade" (poor you!).

    Posted by bklynmom August 17, 09 12:34 PM
  1. OMG, I'm still laughing about this one. Reminds me why I don't miss dating.

    This one is easy. If you want to see her again, obviously you're gonna have to tell her the truth, DUH. If you never want to see her again, you don't have to tell her anything.

    If you are going to tell her what's what, I would play it off like a joke, as if she was in on it the whole time. "Like what? You mean you took all that stuff seriously? Of course I'm not talented enough to have a contract, you've heard me sing."

    Posted by lilmonkeybean August 17, 09 12:34 PM
  1. I don't hold out much hope for you. If you really want to continue this relationship you need to fess up and apologize. Since your guitar got you into this mess, your guitar should get you out of it. Put your apology in the form of a song--something in the genre of the freecreditreport.com commercials. Use the phrases "I'm an ass" and "I'm sorry" frequently in the lyrics and you might have a chance.

    Posted by QM August 17, 09 12:35 PM
  1. If you like this Chiquita and you want to continue giving her your Banana: fess up

    Posted by MassCracc August 17, 09 12:36 PM
  1. Wow, number #64 completely missed the point. I posted that given this context I didn't think it was a big deal -- but Mandy, your top-notch thinking here is that "if a woman judges a man by his job, she's no better than a common prostitute"? You think it's about judging the job and not the lying? Really? Top-notch thinking there. I think this lie was not big deal -- it was a one-night stand that turned out to perhaps be more, not a relationship built on a lit -- but to think the issue is that she will judge him for his job is ridiculous. The issue is whether she will care about having been lied to.

    Thought it important to point that out. If you're going to compare someone to a hooker, you should probably take care to understand what you're talking about first.

    Posted by jlen August 17, 09 12:36 PM
  1. Seriously, if you really like her, just tell her the deal fell through due to some techicality, and you are hopeful to find another deal eventually. Such an easy out. Don't feel bad about lying. Women lie all the time. This broad could be lying that she even really likes you, maybe she thinks she can cash in eventually, but either way don't tell the truth. You won't have any chance if you do tell the truth

    Posted by What they don't know won't hurt them August 17, 09 12:37 PM
  1. I'd tell her. Explain the situation-you got caught up- blah blah and put the ball in her court. She may laugh? It is a funny story. Do it now though.
    Oh-writing her a song is not a bad idea either.

    Posted by pb August 17, 09 12:38 PM
  1. A guy did this to me once. He told me his profession was something that was not, I assumed this was the case until he started trying too hard to “play the part.” I started picking up cues and finally asked him up front, he lied, I went along. Then on an ill fated night that we were out we bumped into some co-workers of his that confirmed that he was not really the highly paid professional that he claimed, but an assistant to such a highly paid professional. I played along, took him home. Confronted him and laid out all the evidence without showing any anger, except to say that he should not be lying to people because failing to fully disclose information was in my book a form of lying. Needless to say I never heard from him. Nonetheless his case has been used by my friends as I as the marker of sleaziness and every time we need to describe a slime ball we refer to this guy. It makes for a great story and we have gotten a few great laughs at the expense of this lying looser.

    I believe you should tell this woman that you have lied to her, apologize if you have any minimal integrity but be prepared for the consequences. Don’t expect her to be nice to you, she may be mad and she is entitled to be mad at a liar. If you don’t tell her she is likely to figure it out. You should examine your own behavior and see that you really need to work on yourself. I hope she can turn this into a laughable moment just like I have, you on the other hand need to work on self-esteem and get a reality check, relationships do not get built on lies.

    Posted by PoliteG August 17, 09 12:39 PM
  1. ........Sorry loverboy, you sound like a complete jerk to me!

    Posted by pam August 17, 09 12:40 PM
  1. Classic new age love story.
    Both want a one-night stand, lied to each other to get into bed, then fell in love, came out with the truths and lived happily ever after.
    Wait till you hear her truth. Maybe that she's a transexual. Still on for the date?

    Posted by brenda August 17, 09 12:41 PM
  1. You should just tell "Yoko" that you ended up spending too much time with her lately and that "Paul" kicked you out of the band. Then you can tell her that you are going to stick around and try to make it on your own. Maybe even do a bed-in for peace. The bonus for her is that you'll let her mess up half of your recordings with her awful voice.

    Posted by sexual chocolate August 17, 09 12:43 PM
  1. Fake letter.

    Posted by chuckx August 17, 09 12:46 PM
  1. You should just tell "Yoko" that you ended up spending too much time with her lately and that "Paul" kicked you out of the band. Then you can tell her that you are going to stick around and try to make it on your own. Maybe even do a bed-in for peace. The bonus for her is that you'll let her mess up half of your recordings with her awful voice.

    Posted by sexual chocolate August 17, 09 12:46 PM
  1. You've really got nothing to lose. Just tell her the truth, that the realtor exaggerated and you stupidly went with it because your brain choked. Show some humility, tell her you're emabarassed that you did it, but you like her so you have to be honest. If she's cool with it then it might work out. If not, well, you were moving to NY anyway...

    Posted by LynahFaithful August 17, 09 12:46 PM
  1. She knows the truth is enjoying playing along... I'm guessing she knew you hadn't signed a record deal after about 10 seconds into your no doubt lame set. But In case she has no brains (or taste), you could keep the lie going George Constanza style. As he once said, it's not a lie if you believe it.

    Posted by JPeterman August 17, 09 12:46 PM
  1. #66 - Are you serious?

    Posted by Dome Foam August 17, 09 12:48 PM
  1. She's just playing along with your story... I'm guessing she knew there was no record deal about 10 seconds into your no doubt lame set. But if she has no brains (or taste), then you should keep the lie going George Constanza style. As he said, "it's not a lie, if you believe it."

    Posted by JPeterman August 17, 09 12:49 PM
  1. Okay, let's review: you used a D+ line and it worked, and now you're having an attack of conscience? Why start telling the truth *now*? First, you are exactly the kind of d/bag that makes it tougher on guys who *aren't* d/bags, so eff you for that. Second, if you tell her the truth, you are *toast*. Just follow what #40 said. Just think, while you are avoiding her while you're "In NYC", you can be off lying to other women, and banging them after a mini-set and some beers.

    Posted by Not A D/Bag August 17, 09 12:50 PM
  1. hahah #66....

    welllll after re reading your letter... i have come to this conclusion. lets review the major facts. you are not a rock star, BUT you HAVE been contacted by local record companies... therefore, realtor= exagerrator. you could just tell your lady friend, you wanted to come clean with her that he was exagerrating, and you are really starting to like her, and wanted to come clean. she'll be pissed, but if you two are really hitting it off, it shouldnt matter you arent going to nyc, she should be happy youll be in town, just a little farther away than in boston. the sooner the better though. and congrats on your potential record signing, you should be very proud of yourself!! and one more thing, cheesy line, yet perfectly creative.

    Posted by katie August 17, 09 12:58 PM
  1. Anyone who uses the phrase "Mi Casa" is a total DooshBag. If ANY female is willing to go to bed with you after uttering that epitome of doucheiosity, she is clearly an insane skank anyhow. I am glad that you are a musician though, because will most likely bite it on an accidental "smack" overdose. This is the absolute worst LL letter ever; the strange part is that it came from a man... ladies, the bar has been raised for you!

    Posted by DudeGuyKidDudeGuy666 August 17, 09 12:58 PM
  1. I may actually like this Chiquita...what a tool!

    Posted by Steve August 17, 09 12:58 PM
  1. Mandy - you sound like one jaded women! What happened??? Where's your Love Letter???

    Cats not Dogs

    Posted by Rica August 17, 09 01:02 PM
  1. All I can say that karma is a biatch - simply inevitable. You could drop her and let her continue digging the story you've created, but lets say months from now a coincidental meeting brings the both of you together and your chance to escape this story is no longer possible; a definite guarantee you'll feel worse about your dishonesty... and this chance encounter is bound to happen Rock Star.

    Tell her. I mean, she'll be taken aback but surely if the feelings are mutual she'll almost be flattered that you went to such lengths to keep this up. If you lied about all this to strictly get her back to your apartment for that one time only, then I agree you're a scumbag. The difference in the matter is that you've continued to see her and have acquired a sincere liking to her.

    NYC Scenario - you're 'moving'... you lose her.

    Truth Scenario - you're staying... a. lose her
    b. keep her

    As I see it, by admitting your truth you at least have an option; a shot at making this work...

    And secondly Zeppelin, if she really was so quick to get with you pending this story, you need to question your continuing involvement with her anyways. Now, not every chic is a whore that jumps in bed the first night - people need to calm their double standards because instant lustful passion just happens - BUT then again she very well could be a whore ...just guard yourself..seems like you may be feeling a bit strongly for a chic that could be that easy with anyone...any time.

    Though your line, man, was pretty awesome..dammit, I wanna a Rock Star.

    Posted by Rossia August 17, 09 01:04 PM
  1. Let me see if I can deconstruct this little fantasy with which Dead Zepplin has regaled us. But first, I need to clean Clorox the toilet bowl I just puked in. First half truth told us. He is a “musician”, that’s true. But he’s a drummer. A bad drummer. Ergo, he got evicted. Second: he’s been “contacted by several local record companies about some of his songs.” Actually, he mailed his demo to Boston Emissions…they still have not called him back. Now he thinks they are stupid arses and is going to write a strongly worded letter to Angelle. Third: his “realtor (read: wingman) out of no-where (at precisely the agreed upon time), drops a bomb that I had just signed a record deal and is moving to NYC/going on tour (hours, days, if not weeks were spent planning this little High School Musical number)”. (Wait, sorry, one more parenthetical comment: who goes to NY to be a rock star? Bad drummers, that’s who.) Fourth: after several “Coronas.” Oh, wait, that was the truth. Drummers have such bad taste in beer. Fifth: “quick set of some of my songs on the roof deck (which overlooks the Boston skyline)”: Even though this deck was imaginary, if I was the girl, I would have jumped off it. Head first. Six: He had sex. No, he pushed and grunted for 35 seconds, rolled over and then farted in his sleep. That’s not sex, that’s a good day in a dog’s life. Seven: He feels “real” bad about keeping this charade up. Nope. He feels “really effin’” good.


    Posted by Sally August 17, 09 01:05 PM
  1. Dude, your lie is posted on the front page of Boston.com... as they say, the jig is up.

    Posted by lilmonkeybean August 17, 09 01:07 PM
  1. I don't think she will dump him for the lie. She will however dump him after about one week, of having to hear the overuse of the Ultimate DooshBag phrases: "Chiquita", "Mi Casa", "Redonkulous". I am glad there are guys like this, so there will be English speakers pumping my gas. Sure buddy, good luck with that "Record Deal"...

    Posted by DudeGuyKidDudeGuy666 August 17, 09 01:10 PM
  1. So, you REALLY like a girl who slept with you on the first date? Wait...it wasn't even a date, she just met you! This will end poorly, so I recommend you just tell her the truth and move on.

    Posted by Kay-Man August 17, 09 01:14 PM
  1. Realtors are lying two faced scumbags. Any moron can pass that joke of a realtor exam. Anyone who responds and tells me that the realtor exam is hard... well they are a idiot.

    Posted by reatlors suck August 17, 09 01:14 PM
  1. So, we've established that you are NOT a rock star. We also know that you are a sleaze. We have also confirmed that you are a liar. Also a fact is that 'Chiquita' is a skank who will jump in the sack with anyone claiming to be the next Sammy Hagar, so I would get a shot of 'cillin pronto if I were you.
    Then, I suggest you slap your douchtastic self in the face and forget about little miss 'groupie'.
    Most of all......Grow up!

    Good luck,

    Posted by DrK August 17, 09 01:15 PM
  1. OH COME ON - WHAT KIND OF ROCK STAR ARE YOU IF YOU FALL IN LOVE AT FIRST "LAY". You need more practice with more Chiquita's..... Most guys lie to get girls in bed - so just fess up & tell the truth - I'm sure she'll be fine with it and you'll actually get extra points for fessing up to her. On the bright side - maybe you'll be inspired to write some "awesome love songs"

    Posted by Been around August 17, 09 01:17 PM
  1. This guy is an idiot.



    What a moron.

    Posted by YouAreAllMySons August 17, 09 01:23 PM
  1. Can I buy the movie rights?

    Posted by Tommy August 17, 09 01:27 PM
  1. I never post but I had to on this one because my fiance actually knows a guy who got himself into a similar predicament. He lied about his age. He was already in his 40s while she was only in her 20s. He looks young so he thought he would get away with it, and was, until my very smart fiance pointed out to him that she may be starting to think about throwing him a 40th birthday party, and how embarrassing would that be?!? That should give you some indication of just how long this little ruse went on for. Anyway he came clean, she forgave him and they are married now. I suggest you go for telling her the truth and have some faith, if it is meant to be it will work out.

    Posted by some random chick August 17, 09 01:28 PM
  1. I LOVE this love letter! I love the pick up line and you sound like a nice enough guy, but more importantly you sound like you have a great sense of humor. In which case you're probably also attracted to ladies that have a great sense of humor as well. If this is the case, I think that your chiquita will be able to handle the truth and appreciate the fact that you want to see more of her which is why you're telling her the truth instead of doing the cowardly thing that so many other commenters suggest and just saying you left and never talking to her again. If for no other reason you have to tell her the truth and see if you can work it out because I can't imagine a better story to be told at a wedding! Best of luck Dread!

    Posted by HK24 August 17, 09 01:31 PM
  1. Kay-Man,

    I find your comments quite offensive. Just because he slept with the girl on the first date doesn't mean he can't like her. My patner and I are in a 3 years plus relationship that started off as a one night stand. It wasn't a date either, we met at a party. Its happened before and it can happen again. . .

    Posted by Sometimes one night stands do evolve. August 17, 09 01:34 PM
  1. This is hilarious!!!! I cannot believe his lie worked? What is your problem again Dread Zeppelin?

    Posted by Baje August 17, 09 01:35 PM
  1. Where. Is. Hoss.

    Posted by LoveRico August 17, 09 01:36 PM
  1. I read this post daily but have yet to comment. This letter is hysterical. If LW is playing up the lie and making stuff up as he goes along then he needs to cut it out and disappear aka move to New York. If the lie started and ended with the realtor's statement then so be it- he can tell the truth if he really likes this girl. I'm female and single. If I hooked up with a guy I know is leaving town in 2wks, I'm definitely not looking for sth serious so it doesn't really matter what he is or what he says. I'm also curious to know the age difference. If a guy referred to me as 'kid' and still hooked up with me, I'd think that's pretty sick!

    Posted by missteeq August 17, 09 01:37 PM
  1. You're an idiot. And a loser. Get a real job.

    Reality, not Rico!

    Posted by Chloe-OBrien August 17, 09 01:39 PM
  1. Sally's deconstruction (#94) wins. :-)

    Posted by Linda August 17, 09 01:39 PM
  1. To make up for all of these lies, you should actually move to New York City. Hey - you must already have the moving boxes, right?

    Posted by Trueblue22 August 17, 09 01:40 PM
  1. Oh! This is great! You must promise us that you will post an update! Look at all the folks vested in this story!
    And my two cents: the girl who jumps in bed with you, whether or not you are a rock star, is not the woman you want to marry, right? Look for the woman who is interested in you....and no one gets to know someone on the first date. You might as well be strangers. There is no hope here. I agree that the best bet is to say goodbye and never call her again. It is OVAH!
    But my favorite response from the crowd is Jule's: "I think you should move to New York and try to become a rock star."


    Posted by mrstuom August 17, 09 01:40 PM
  1. Dread - This letter is an absolute lie! You actually expect us to believe that a realtor could be that helpful?

    Valentino, you may have to put up a top 5 today. There's way too much ammo for you.

    Posted by Joe August 17, 09 01:44 PM
  1. I don't think it's as bad as everyone seems to think it is.

    It's the landlords fault that the lie was there to begin with, so it's not as if he was planning on doing this all along. He was just looking for a little fun after the girl showed interest. He went with it and it worked. I am a female and if this happened to be I would forgive him. It's not as if he lied about being married or having kids or being single or anything. It's kind of cute, he was trying to impress her. It's not as if he had sex with her and is ditching her, he is actually interested. He should tell her the truth and say that he had an instant connection with her but didn't think she was interested, so whats wrong with a little fib?

    Posted by give him some credit! August 17, 09 01:47 PM
  1. Definitely tell her the truth. If she only likes you because she thinks you are a rock star, then she'll dump you. If she actually likes you, then it may be possible to work out some way to earn her trust back. But definitely don't keep on with the lie if you like her. That definitely can't work. (Of course, the third option is you actually go to New York and become a rock star. Now that would be a GREAT story!)

    Posted by Jeff August 17, 09 01:49 PM
  1. "How would you like to spend your first night in your new apartment?"

    I gotta say, that line cracked me up! Good for you.

    Now the flak.

    Mi Casa? Chiquita? Dude, I personally know REAL rock stars and they don't talk like that! What school of rock are you from, Berkley?

    I am also going to have to say Meridith has the best advice so far.

    Ok now cats, Zippity zaaa! I am outta here

    Posted by MP August 17, 09 01:50 PM
  1. So wait-- He is a sleeze (as many of you have said) for lying to her about being a rockstar, yet she's just an innocent victim? Because it's ok for her to sleep with this guy on the first night when he was a rockstar, but not as a normal person?

    Yeah, ok. Whatever-- you're both at fault. You lied, and that makes you a jerk, BUT she bought it and dropped her panties on the first date.

    Posted by Dizzle August 17, 09 01:52 PM
  1. This totally sounds like Jim Anchower from "The Onion" wrote the letter.
    We've been scammed.

    Posted by j at work August 17, 09 02:00 PM
  1. The douche factor is so off the charts here. Mi casa, chiquita, redonkulous, Coronas... you sir, suck.

    Seriously, what does it matter what you do? You're a complete loser, and she fell for your tired schtick, so she's either dense or none too discriminating if you get my drift. If you end up together, great, you deserve each other and that's 2 less losers clogging up the singles market. If she dumps your arse, you both dodged a huge bullet.

    Posted by Rae August 17, 09 02:01 PM
  1. I like the song as an apology concept so much that I wrote one for the dude.

    I am just a Redonkulous guy

    We met by accident
    And that guy told a lie
    That I soon would be famous
    When I’m just a redonkulous guy

    That story sound so good
    Something that I’d like to try
    And you seemed to like me
    Even though I’m a redonkulous guy

    I have to tell you
    My Chiquita, I can no longer lie
    If I’m just suburban drummer
    Will you still hang with the redonkulous guy?

    Will you still hang with the redonkulous guy?

    Posted by Lain the Blunt August 17, 09 02:01 PM
  1. LOL!!
    You can continue to lie and you'll have to make up more and more lies. She'll want to visit you in NY, go to your concert or at least buy the CD, etc. It would be like a movie with you making up more elaborate lies.

    Or, you could always just say that the rock and roll world isn't for you. That you couldn't take the attention, the papparazzi, the adoring fans...it nearly drove you to drugs. You might have become like Michael Jackson. Gorgeous women everywhere and you can only think of her. You have lost your soul and decided to move to the suburbs and go back to your previous job as quality assurance rep.

    Anyway, I'm sure she didn't believe you and thought you were funny and cute and wanted to get you into the sack. You're the gullible one - you thought the realtor was flattering you when he just wanted to rent the apt and you also thought that she believed you. Did she ask fo rthe label? Fantasies, unfortunately don't last long...

    Posted by moi August 17, 09 02:02 PM
  1. This story doesn't even sound real, it sounds more like someone's fantasy.

    Posted by Lisa August 17, 09 02:05 PM
  1. This is hysterical.

    A. That pick up line actually had me laughing out loud at my desk.
    B. If she slept with you just because she thinks you have a record deal, she's a little trashy and I wouldn't worry about it.
    C. Tell her the truth if you really think you could like her, but be careful, because she might have a whole string of "musicians" behind her. Maybe you guys can start a band.

    Posted by sm1231 August 17, 09 02:05 PM
  1. Dude - Go with the record label dropped you, now you're starting all over she will buy right in! That has hooks, you should thank Meredith for giving you the right answer, even if she doesn't condone it!

    That is awesome. Great story, you should never regret it.

    I am going out to buy a guitar now!!

    Posted by BlameMe August 17, 09 02:08 PM
  1. The 'romantic comedy' in me wants this to all work out and for this two kids to be soulmates... The 'jaded Boston girl who has been lied to too many times' hopes this gal gives Dread Z a vasectomy with her bare hands... either one is a perfectly acceptable ending....

    #94 - I just peed my pants laughing and want to be your friend

    Posted by dontbejealous August 17, 09 02:09 PM
  1. Reminder - don't read column while eating lunch.....

    "No, he pushed and grunted for 35 seconds, rolled over and then farted in his sleep. That’s not sex, that’s a good day in a dog’s life."

    I think I'm in love with Sally (#94) now.....

    Posted by Jeff August 17, 09 02:12 PM
  1. Hi Laine, I work for a local record company and am "real" interested in your song. I'm pretty sure I could turn you into an "NYC Rock Star."

    Posted by Sally August 17, 09 02:19 PM
  1. Lie, cheat, and steal, baby. And when they doesn't work: deny, deny, deny. You are supposed to lie to get in women's pants at your age. What is surprising is that you did not try to swing a menage with a couple of the girls once the beer was flowing and the lies were, too. After all, rock stars *expect* that kinda thing from their groupies. Next time!

    Posted by Lance Romance August 17, 09 02:20 PM
  1. #120, Lain

    Your song's really a hoot! Nice work.

    Posted by TallGirl August 17, 09 02:22 PM
  1. #120, that is amazing when does this single come out?

    Posted by whitney houston August 17, 09 02:24 PM
  1. After the "Nice Guys..." letter, it's good to read about an LL reader who can actually close.

    Just say no to Rico.

    Posted by bostonlow August 17, 09 02:30 PM
  1. Yeah, I'm the Love Guru. No.... the Doctor of love. No... the Surgeon General. Yeah that's it. The Surgeon General. Yeah. And I think you should give me this girls number, so I can help you out. I mean, help her out. I mean, start a band with you.
    Yeah. That's it. That's the ticket.

    Posted by Tommy Flanagan August 17, 09 02:30 PM
  1. She only likes you because she thinks you're a rock star. Once you admit you're not, she's gone.
    Just admit it so that she can drop you and you can at least save your integrity.

    Posted by Noel August 17, 09 02:36 PM
  1. You are THE MAN, and I am jealous. Nice hook job.

    Let her go, but keep this great story.

    Posted by SingleCommuterWithBagel August 17, 09 02:41 PM
  1. To the tune of "I'm just a Natural Man"
    "I'm just a redonkulous guy" from #120 Lain the Blunts - That's great and should be the Rock Star wannabe's signature song! HAAAAAAA !

    Posted by Been around August 17, 09 02:47 PM
  1. this guy obviously thinks he's Tucker Max. hilarity will not ensue.

    Posted by seriously? August 17, 09 02:50 PM
  1. Listen, Dread.
    Contrary to the responses here, you cannot assume anything! I get what poeple are saying about sleeping with you while thinking you were leaving in two weeks, that might mean she didn't WANT anything serious but she could possibly have accidentally fallen for you also. You don't KNOW that unless you tell her. Even if this seems completely improbable. It's like a vacation romance, people go into it knowing it's going to end, but there's always that one tenth of a percent that someone ends up moving halfway around the world because they fall in love and can't live without the other. Not LIKELY but you never know.... she could be wishing you weren't leaving.

    Go with the whole "the realtor told the lie at first and you didn't want to embarass him angle" then it just snowballed and you didn't know how to tell her. But make sure she knows the reason you ARE telling her is because you actually LIKE her, hopefully that will trump the deception. Or you could just test the waters by saying that you were thinking of staying in Boston and see what her reaction is.. Yeah, yeah I know, not exactly honest but it might tell you what to do next.

    Besides, if you are not moving away, isn't there a chance you might run into her or her friends in you're still living in this area?

    Posted by lilmiss August 17, 09 02:56 PM
  1. this kinda sounded like a Dane Cook movie plot.

    is Dane available to play the lead????

    Posted by anonymouslycommenting. August 17, 09 02:58 PM
  1. Thanks for a good Monday laugh...

    Depending on how old she is, she might actually see the humor in this (if you all are mid-30's, there's a better chance of this). If she's a kid, tell the truth and see what happens--but dont be surprised if she's major miffed and fails to see the humor in a very funny situation. And if not, to hell with her--its one of those things you just have to laugh about!

    Posted by E August 17, 09 03:00 PM
  1. Mr. wannabe-Rockstar, you've been had by that girl, who's probably sharing her story with her friends, of how she shagged you by pretending to believe your story.

    Posted by The Dude August 17, 09 03:00 PM
  1. For Posting 105,
    I'm glad you have low standards. You MUST be an unattractive female and you MUST have met a desperate guy at that party 3 years ago who, I am sure is trying to figure out how to get out of this mess.

    That is the only way this works out.

    Posted by Kay-Man August 17, 09 03:01 PM
  1. Nothing original to add - good story though, and I love the pickup line!!!

    Sidenote: @byubba and @Rica - Loved your posts! I laughed so hard I cried.

    Coke not Pepsi!

    Posted by Where's Rico August 17, 09 03:01 PM
  1. You will soon find out that being IN the band is alot better than being WITH the band.

    Posted by Groupie August 17, 09 03:01 PM
  1. Laughs on you Dread, she wanted to get your "rock star" life started off on the right foot so she gave you your first (probably not) STD.

    Posted by Flash August 17, 09 03:13 PM
  1. Hey Toolbox
    You make a point of saying that you're not lame, but yet you go along with this ridiculous lie to get some kid into bed. Really? Oh- and you're moving out of Boston for a suburban scene with some friends? Sounds major. You must be a real catch! Have you ever wondered why you can only get the young, stupid skanks? I really hope you get crabs. You deserve it. Loser.

    Posted by Shorty August 17, 09 03:18 PM
  1. All I have to say to the LW is: you're nasty and so is this "chiquita." Or maybe you're both just 19.
    To #14: capitalizing realtor is a marketing gimmick. You don't capitalize "doctor" or "lawyer" and I'm pretty sure they have a bit more education and belong to professional associations as well. Realtor is just a job, not a trademark. I once had to abandon an otherwise good mystery novel because the author insisted on capitalizing "realtor" all the way through it.

    Posted by seethruya August 17, 09 03:20 PM

    Posted by Been around August 17, 09 03:23 PM
  1. Let's do the math:

    1 say-anything-to-close-the-deal Realtor
    0 Fung Wah tickets to NYC
    1 little white lie
    6-12 Coronas
    1 impromptu rooftop gig
    1 peeled Chiquita
    1 "First Night" celebration
    1 rockin' use of the word "redonkulous"
    2 hours brainstorming the "Dread Zeppelin" signature
    1 itsy bitsy moral dilemma


    1 solution: tell her the Chelsea Hotel lost your reservation

    Posted by Jasper's Buddy August 17, 09 03:28 PM
  1. Dude. She dug the guitar and the beer. Unless you perpetuated the lie, you've got nothing to worry about. "It's not the lie, it's the cover-up"

    Posted by G August 17, 09 03:40 PM
  1. Tell her the truth.... That will set up the perfect sequel to this story. As she's sitting around moping that she didn't get to bang a real rock star, you can begin learning "trashy women" by Confederate Railroad. After she's had a few days to realize a local lounge lizard is better than nothing you stand on her stoop and start strumming.... she'll relate as you sing it out "I like my women just a little on the trashy side....". Next thing you know: REDONKULOUS make-up sex.

    Posted by mrswim August 17, 09 03:43 PM
  1. Tell her the truth.... That will set up the perfect sequel to this story. As she's sitting around moping that she didn't get to bang a real rock star, you can begin learning "trashy women" by Confederate Railroad. After she's had a few days to realize a local lounge lizard is better than nothing you stand on her stoop and start strumming.... she'll relate as you sing it out "I like my women just a little on the trashy side....". Next thing you know: REDONKULOUS make-up sex.

    Posted by mrswim August 17, 09 03:43 PM
  1. LW: Neither you nor this "Chiquita" has anything to be proud of here. You lied to get her in bed and she hopped in willingly, with both feet. You = scuzzy, Her = skanky.

    If you really have an interest in continuing to see her, tell her the truth now. Come clean before the lie gets any deeper. And get yourself checked by a competent medical lab.

    P.S. "Redonkulous"? Seriously?

    Posted by Truman August 17, 09 03:50 PM
  1. Hey, if this chick really likes you then she just might stick around. But if she was just diggen the whole "RockStar" bid. Well then, she was a gold digger and should feel like a fool, and she never really liked you anyway! Dont Hate The Playa, Hate The Game!!!!

    Posted by LilShorty98 August 17, 09 03:54 PM
  1. Now that this is in the Globe it doesn't matter what you tell her. The cat's out of the bag. Assuming she told her friends about you, one of them is sure to see this story and it's already back to her. Dude, grow up.

    Posted by Soccer Star from Brazil (not) August 17, 09 03:57 PM
  1. I agree with you, No. 146, about there being no need to capitalize "realtor" - they are not worth it.

    Posted by irish lass August 17, 09 03:58 PM
  1. I like Clark Rockefeller better.

    Posted by Erin August 17, 09 04:05 PM
  1. #138, I am pretty sure Dane Cook has an open schedule

    Posted by keithshoo August 17, 09 04:10 PM
  1. You should have treated her like a person with dignity and not a sex object. Apologize for sex outside of marriage and lying and then let the courting begin if she still wants to pursue a relationship

    Peace and Blessings

    Posted by Henway August 17, 09 04:15 PM
  1. #146 (seethruya)....

    #14 is correct; Realtor should be capitalized. It is capitalized because a Realtor is actually a real estate agent who is part of the National Association of Realtors. Not all real estate agents are Realtors.

    Just wanted to clarify...

    Posted by Kristen August 17, 09 04:18 PM
  1. OK - first things first - STOP SAYING REDONKULOUS or however it's spelled. it's a despicable abuse of the English language. I applaud correct spelling and proper grammar, which isn't a hit with the young people of today. That's why America is going to hell in a handbasket!

    To the letter writer - You go out of your way to pull a woman into bed with you and now you start to have FEELINGS toward her? Are you serious? When will people start realizing that sex is not love and love is not sex? The sooner you can separate the two, the happier you will be.

    Additionally, be a MAN and drink BEER - Boston's own Samuel Adams will suffice. Or pull up your skirt and continue to drink Corona.

    The bottom line here is that you fell for a one night stand. Once she realizes that she's not going out with the next Guitar Hero, your relationship is doomed anyway! Just end it now and save face.

    and for the posters - #15 Go back to your photo shoot and close your legs. You have nothing to add to this conversation besides your stupidity. #30 - absolutely. This chick has more miles on her than Great White's tour bus. #74 - exactly how long and hard did you think when you thought of that one? I hope your head didn't hurt...#94 - Sally, did you really put this whole story under the microscope and analyze it? I mean, do you do this for everything people tell you? I can only imagine the type of OCD you have. it must be legendary....

    At ease, people. The Admiral is done speaking.

    Posted by Admiral Antgro August 17, 09 04:22 PM
  1. Jesus, man, no wonder men have a poor reputation. Didn't Rick Pitino just answer your stupid question. If you continue to tell a lie it will continue to be a part of your future and you will still have this question over yoru head. If you tell the truth this story will be a part of your past...and may actually allow yourself to maybe keep this woman if she has a decent sense of humor and actually likes you for what you are, not who you are not. You obviously are a musician, so maybe she will still be OK with that. If she cannot dig your story, get a lauigh out f it and seriously only liked you because you could possibly be the next Jimi, then she is not worth your time. Tell her to go watch Almost Famous and call it a day....After all she will likely not car5e. Why? Because she started sleeping with you knowing you are leaving for NYC. So what was the chance you'd stick around with her when you got there. Sounds like the two of you may be a match in heaven: both a cuple of cheap thrill dolts who now lie to one another and pretend this behavior was something other than just a fun old time.

    Posted by TDK August 17, 09 04:26 PM
  1. Only at a liberal paper like Boston Globe can you find angry women giving real advice next to amused men giving high fives and just to round out the demographic there is one grammatician who is angry that Realtor was not capitalized.

    Posted by john Diamond August 17, 09 04:27 PM
  1. if you really like her, tell her the truth NOW.

    Posted by Whatever August 17, 09 04:29 PM
  1. Fake letter.

    Posted by chuckx August 17, 09 04:32 PM
  1. Henway - "apologize for sex outside of marraige"????? whatever your personal beliefs are, she did this willingly. he has nothing to apologize for in that regard.

    Posted by sm1231 August 17, 09 04:36 PM
  1. its all good and true...a man will always say and almost believe anything to get laid. Being the typical male you are...you owe no one any explanation

    Posted by Roberto August 17, 09 04:36 PM
  1. "redonkulous" and "chiquita" in the same letter? Really? Tool.

    Posted by kcarts August 17, 09 04:36 PM
  1. Livin' the dream, Man... who needs reality anyway? It's like that movie with Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn...they just keep lying to each other until they fall in love.

    Just like my last relationship. >.>

    Posted by Atticus Black August 17, 09 04:37 PM
  1. This reminds me of the episode of Coupling, when Jeff accidentally tells the woman on the train he's an amputee...

    Posted by vlnplyr2 August 17, 09 04:40 PM
  1. who cares...men use lies every single day to get what they want from a woman...deal with it

    Posted by Anonymous August 17, 09 04:42 PM
  1. The Admiral reminds me of Dana Carvey's grumpy old man. "Back in my day, you didn't hold a girls hand without asking her parents' permission.... dancing the Charleston was considered '3rd base.' That's the way it was and we liked it!"

    Posted by JPeterman August 17, 09 04:45 PM
  1. #158, I bet she treated him as a sex object too! Works both ways....

    Posted by sanity123 August 17, 09 04:45 PM
  1. Once she finds out you are a Roadie instead of The Guitar player...

    It will be over anyway.

    It's not your fault. Woman want what their friends can't get.

    It's a pathetic cycle of realtor induced, rock star searching...weak ones -searching for Eddie Van Halen and ending up with the Jonas Brothers...


    Posted by Joe P August 17, 09 04:54 PM
  1. She's laughing at you as she puts medicine on her genital herpes outbreak and shampoos out the crabs.

    Posted by Spooky August 17, 09 04:59 PM
  1. Too bad, cuz it seems that you both deserve each other.

    Posted by Kiggy August 17, 09 05:23 PM
  1. For those of you out there wondering why an adult must litter his love letter with ‘cliché’ bi-lingual references (mi casa & Chiquita), the sign-off is a pure giveaway. Dread Zeppelin typically covers LZ tunes with a reggae beat and a lead singer dressed up and sounding like Elvis. It’s really quite wonderful: Uniquely Derived. But as love would have it, DZ morphed himself, once again, to play the pumped up part in a little white lie. Nothing another fib can’t fix, my plagiaristic linguistic. How about: “The dink store called, and they ran out of me?”

    Adios Muchachos

    “Little Balls Blue” Haiku

    Rastafari King
    Plantless abs, strikes Elvis pose
    Stairway to Graceland

    Posted by valentino August 17, 09 05:25 PM
  1. Keep it up as long as you can -- what the heck, when she finds out, she's going to leave you, and its going to be ugly, so have as much fun with it as you possibly can. Its not like by telling her now its going to be any less bad. So have as much fun as you can, and remember, in the words of the great Ferriss Bueller, you can never take it too far.

    When she finally finds out, pull the old, "I was confused and so into you, and didn't know what to do, and I knew that you liked this version of me, so that's who I chose to be". Who knows, it might even work...

    Posted by tombrunansky August 17, 09 05:28 PM
  1. # of times Rico refers to himself in the 3rd person today: ZERO

    # of people that are doing a party dance because Rico did not post today (WooooHooo!): 174 ( Current comments count)


    Posted by RicoCounter August 17, 09 05:33 PM
  1. Stop the whining. Your a rock start so act like one! Keep lying to her as long as you need to to keep the physical fun coming. Tell her the delayed the NY tour becuase the Stones called and they want to you to open for them in January. "Babe, I'd rather wait and open for the stones AND I kinda want to hang out with you". All lies but who cares? By the way, you need to start hitting on her friends when she's not around. Go!! Go!! Go!!

    Posted by Anonymous August 17, 09 06:39 PM
  1. The reason Realtor is capitalized is because it is a trademarked term - see the AP Stylebook. It has nothing to do with Realtors being on the same professional level as a physician, as some of you pointed out. See, for example, cellophane - which should have been trademarked, but wasn't.

    That's all a reindeer is good for on this muggy day. Lucidity comes on the tundra, not on city asphalt in 90 plus weather. Thanks val for the background on the band, and yes, the "store" jokes are very very funny, whether it's a Costanza or a valentino making them :)

    Posted by reindeergirl August 17, 09 07:12 PM
  1. Sounds like something I would do. If I could play guitar better. My kind of guy.

    Tell the truth, dude. If you're asking the question, it's because you really want something to happen. Nothing will happen unless you are honest.

    Posted by Grego August 17, 09 07:17 PM
  1. Definitely tell her the truth right away. If she likes YOU and not just the potential rock-star you then she will have a good laugh as well and you'll know you've got a keeper. If she bails, consider yourself lucky to be rid of this superficial be-ach.

    Posted by senorita August 17, 09 07:26 PM
  1. Not really funny, not really clever...a lot pathetic and immature all around. Leaving out your bravado about what a "great" line you came up with and your need for a good story for the next day (major problems in the way you think about and interact with "Chiquitas -" and "really?" on that one, too) all parties involved seem young, desperate, and egocentric. The Realtor, too.

    Not many people probably care what happens to anyone here. So keep up the good work: phony rock star stories, Corona-fueled one-night stands when this is supposed to be a business transaction, racking up lines and stories to share with your friends regardless of the impact they may have on the woman...yeah, you're going places, guy. You'll get what you deserve out of this pathetic situation. (BTW, the poster who recommended getting tested is right - and if the groupie is also reading this - sign yourself up for a little blood test, too.)

    Posted by Jetta August 17, 09 07:29 PM
  1. JPeterman, don't you miss Grumpy Old Man and Middle Aged Man? Thanks for the laugh!

    Posted by Jasper's pet August 17, 09 07:37 PM
  1. Mere, I realize you're going for the juicy stuff, but can we try and weed out the obvious fake/Penthouse letters? This guys's a tool and obviously lying. First, a triple decker in Dot with a view of the IBEW windmill and the gas tank isn't really a view of the "Boston skyline". Moving to Worcester isn't exactly the "suburb scene". Why would a tenant ever be the "point man" between a landlord and a realtor? Again, FOS. Lastly, you said you've "hung out several times" since said encounter. Obviously she would have been grilling you with questions etc. Oh but you're so "slick" you had all the answers. Any letter but this would have been better. We didn't hear from Rico today, hmmm I'd say this is a self described Rico Suave FOS loser.

    Posted by FOS August 17, 09 07:44 PM
  1. Today's post would have made an excellent David Foster Wallace short story - along the lines of, say, "Gold Old Neon."

    Who the heck is "the kid"?

    Loved Sally's parsing of the letter!

    Would Bleako be riding in all this heat?

    Posted by reindeergirl August 17, 09 08:11 PM
  1. Duh, she's not even going to talk to him again. She's just probably 1) embarrassed about the one-night stand, but 2) going to tell all her friends she slept with a rock star. The End.

    Posted by Stacie August 17, 09 08:24 PM
  1. Lying is the key to life as seen here. i lie to girls everytime I go out looking for a one night stand. I am a solid 8, but drop to a 6 when a girl hears that I am an auditor. woo, thats real hot. I make up a complete lie and next thing I know I am having drunk sex. Good work on this and who cares what happens with this girl. Are you really trying to date a girl who slept with you on the first night? Yeah thats a keeper.

    Posted by i hate favre August 17, 09 08:43 PM

  1. Ok so when you get the paternity suit the answer will be obvious....


    Just have accountants pay for it all!!!

    Posted by cisco kid August 17, 09 09:32 PM
  1. @Sally #94 - ROTFLMAO! Brilliant deconstruction - fess up - you know this douchebag cum loser - who is he? Who is the wingman/"realtor"?

    Posted by SwissAlps August 17, 09 09:34 PM
  1. Why do you want to consider someone who so easily slept with you as a long term friend? Are you going to turn a one night stand into an ugly two year relationship? Your thinking process may need some tune-up.

    She may not care whether you tell the truth or not. She sounds like someone who just sleep around with guys right and left. You happened to be one the them. She thought you were leaving, didnt' she? You are not the only guy who can throw a corona party.

    Posted by NotLongTermMaterial August 17, 09 11:22 PM
  1. No impromptu rooftop gigs in the suburbs.

    Police log.

    Posted by you're kidding me August 17, 09 11:23 PM
  1. I once dated a guy for 3 months who told me he was a middle-reliever for the St. Louis Cardinals. It was off season, what did I care? We had fun, he was cute and it all seemed true enough. Yeah. Turns out he was unemployed (not the off-season) and had a major league issue with LYING.

    I dumped him quick and never looked back. Tell her the truth. She'll likely drop you on your bum if she has any self-esteem.

    Don't lie to people. It sucks.

    Posted by Lying is just wrong. August 17, 09 11:35 PM
  1. No matter how well you hide it - whether she discovers your ruse or decides to remain ignorant - it's a lie. She should feel a little cheap for being a star f**kr to begin with, and you should realize (beyond the obvious practical pickle you've gotten yourself into) that lying is not cool. If you have a come-to-Jesus moment and really repent of your lies, it's possible she'll see the humor in her own vanity, as well as yours, and you can both proceed as humans. If not, then it's a lesson learned: as a foundation, lying only works for one-night stands.

    Posted by kathleen August 18, 09 09:35 AM
  1. Awesome, totally worth the story.

    Posted by John Ermi August 18, 09 09:43 AM
  1. Love the story--tell the truth...she'll be okay with it, and if she isn't, nothing really lost at this point.

    Sidebar to "Editor" (not)..."Realtor" should never be capitalized unless it's the first word in a sentence. Time for a new nickname.

    Posted by Spy August 18, 09 11:27 AM
  1. I (a woman) have to say I don't consider it such a big deal. You could say that the realtor got it wrong but it was a fun mistake and you went with it, not figuring you'd see her again. But since you like her, you want to tell the truth. I wouldn't be so horrified -- lots of people lie or stretch the truth when they first meet someone because, who cares? they're strangers. If we were hitting it off, I'd probably be more pleased by the fact that you are interested.
    Of course, if that was the only thing she finds attractive about you, you're screwed anyway.

    Posted by Pollux August 18, 09 11:41 AM
  1. Jasper's Buddy, you have singled-handedly raised the bar for comments. Nicely effin' done.

    Posted by Sally August 18, 09 11:47 AM
  1. Did she actually sleep with the LW because she thought he was a rock star, or because she thought he was cute and he offered it to her on a silver platter? Maybe she figured the LW would be out of town and out of her hair--a guy who puts it out so easily (and who's supposed to be leaving town) isn't someone I'd take seriously. A bit of fun. (It's not just guys who indulge in that, you know.) Odd how no one speculates how many miles the LW has on him. Cuts both ways, folks. She didn't even have to ask--he made all of the moves. Talk about easy.

    Next time, don't be so quick to give it up. Have some self-respect.

    Posted by PM August 18, 09 11:49 AM
  1. "Are you really trying to date a girl who slept with you on the first night? Yeah thats a keeper."

    As are you, cupcake. Has it occurred to you that you're just as cheap and nasty for screwing around as the women you slag off on? Or does the purity fairy come and sprinkle magic dust on you ?

    Posted by PM August 18, 09 12:02 PM
  1. #181 (FOS)....LOL at this....."First, a triple decker in Dot with a view of the IBEW windmill and the gas tank isn't really a view of the "Boston skyline".

    Posted by bklynmom August 18, 09 12:18 PM
  1. Women manipulate men all the time. I'm proud of this guy for turning the tables. If she was into the guy for being a rock star, then she's just a shallow loser. And if she was into him because he was truly a good guy - then why did she sleep with on the first date? I suspect that she went with the whole thing because she just wanted to have some no strings attached sex with someone who might potentially become famous. The fact that this guy wants to tell her the truth is silly as hell - he shouldn't tell her to save a relationship with her (because that is just not going to happen) he should tell her simply because women today hold the wrong values when it comes to men and she should be made aware of it.

    Posted by DK August 18, 09 12:32 PM
  1. oh, just tell her that you initially ran with the story, thinking it would be fun, and then you realized you actually like her and wanted to tell her the truth rather than bail. You would at least get some points for having some integrity after the fact and owning up. But do it asap and tell her you are crazy about her and didnt want to drop her after all..............................

    Posted by squishdish August 18, 09 12:51 PM
  1. Sanity 123, correct they where both wrong.

    smi123, they both should apologize

    Posted by Henway August 18, 09 12:58 PM
  1. @Sally:

    "Six: He had sex. No, he pushed and grunted for 35 seconds, rolled over and then farted in his sleep. That’s not sex, that’s a good day in a dog’s life. Seven: He feels “real” bad about keeping this charade up. Nope. He feels 'really effin’good.


    You win the internets. Holy crap, that was funny.

    Posted by PM August 18, 09 01:03 PM
  1. Hey #112...... get-a-life...... I slept with my now soon to be husband on our second date (and I was the one who initated it). We've been together for more than three years and I can't even begin to tell you all the crap we've been through. But guess what? We've dealt with it. Just because she slept with him before you deemed it a "proper time" doesn't make your opinion right or wrong, it just makes you a pompous ass for trying to make someone feel like sh**. Great, I hope you got what you wanted, because it seems that you're SO perfect that you always do the right thing and know what's best for everyone else in the world. Are you telling me that you have NEVER stretched the truth to impress someone? If you say no, you're lying.

    Posted by Jennifer August 18, 09 01:10 PM
  1. ""he should tell her simply because women today hold the wrong values when it comes to men and she should be made aware of it.""

    #200 - DK - please elaborate on what you believe are those "wrongly held values"

    As a single woman, who dates occassionally, I would love to be enlightened on what my "wrong" mindset is.

    I am not defending the behavior of either person involved in the letter of discussion. I am just curious what your take is on the mindset of women.

    Posted by anonymouslycommenting August 18, 09 01:23 PM
  1. My guess is the Realtor did that on purpose for fun to give you a chance to impress them.

    You can tell her the whole story and realize that this whole thing could crash and bomb. It sounds like you're not willing to just drop her without trying because now you're smitten so that's probably your only option. But if the tables were turned how would you react when you found out a woman you thought had just gotten a record contract actually hadn't and you slept with her...thinking she was who she wasn't...where *maybe* you wouldn't have otherwise.
    You do have a saving grace here, which is to play up the fact that at first you went along with the "rock star" part because it seemed funny and harmless, and didn't think to hope that your relationship with her would go any farther than a 5 minute conversation while she looked at the apartment with the realtor.

    It was only after, when she came by with her friend later, that you had the idea to see her socially. Of course, you then invited her to bed without revealing the truth, which is what really makes it sketchy, because you have to know that a signed record deal guy is more attractive to someone who barely knows them than just a guy who plays in a band. She could have slept with you either way, but there's a high high chance that she'll judge that you aren't trustworthy based upon this
    deception that the real estate agent started and you continued.

    anyways, your self respect is important here and really she deserves to know the truth as well (as opposed to a continued lie or unexpectedly dropping out of her life) so I think it probably is the best idea to clear up your situation by telling the truth.

    I don't think meredith's first suggestion of telling another lie about the lost record contract is going to work here, although a certain kind of person could make it work and pull it off. The question is, are you that person? If you were you probably woulnd't be writing in to Meredith to ask her opinion.

    Whatever the results are, you'll feel better about yourself, if not about the immediate results, afterwords even if you are disappointed by the fallout between her and you. it' unfortunate that there may be some negative consequences here for you but nobody's perfect and you made a mistake.

    You'll need to carefully prepare for this with a majo, detailed apology and show actual remorse and detail how you think this lie has or would hurt her if there's gonna be a chance that she accepts it and continues seeing her. Also, while taking repsonsibility for yur actions, play up the part that the real estate agent unexpectedly set you up for this, whcih is the truth--which makes you apear less pesonally responsible, in other words you weren't the driving force behind it--yet also take full responsibility.
    Also present a vision for the future--how you'd like your relationship with her to be in the future and how you'll behave, so she has a reason to continue.

    If you play your cards right this could work out and she could be at least as impressed with your sense of responsibility as she could potentially be repelled by the deception, inadvertent or not, that you let proceed.

    Posted by steve in W MA August 18, 09 01:53 PM
  1. #202: Sure, I'll bite. Things like; high heels, fake boobs, pushup bras, fake lips, fake tans, gold-digging, star-f***ing etc. are all fairly common examples of false advertising and poor values. When women (not all women, mind you) misrepresent their true image, or ignore everything about a guy because he has money or is famous, or decide to get married in order to have a kid (and future source of income) even if they are NOT in love - they destroy men's faith in women.

    The problem is that we are living in a media saturated society and as a result, many people have come to believe that they are entitled to the same levels of fame, fortune, and happiness that they see on TV - so they settle for nothing less and the result is almost always bad.

    I hope more women that display these types of behaviors are deceived by men in the hope that these women will realize that their own values are out of whack.

    Posted by DK August 18, 09 01:56 PM

    Posted by Texas Nan August 18, 09 01:59 PM
  1. REaltor could have just gotten confused and and thought you were getting signed by the record company.

    Posted by steve in W MA August 18, 09 02:05 PM
  1. Blame this on the realtor. Tell them you didn't think the place to correct a real estate agent was in the middle of an apt interview and showing.

    Tell her the truth you thought it was amusing at first and that you never expected to really ever see her again. Explain it just got away from you and that since you are not moving to NYC you actually would like to see her again.

    If she has a sense of humor she'll say yes just for the fun of it. If she gets upset she's too uptight. The whole situatioo is really insane but in a fun good way.

    Posted by amusing August 18, 09 02:07 PM
  1. Tell her the truth, you play Rob Thomas cover tunes at
    truck stops, then get $5 a pop. I'm sure she'll understand.

    Posted by Ron Mexico August 18, 09 02:29 PM
  1. Why would you want this girl to be your girlfriend?! You have to wonder how many other "rock stars" this dumb skank has slept with after just a beer and a burger. My advice to you is to get tested, my friend.

    Posted by Ellen August 18, 09 02:34 PM
  1. Realtor is capitalized as a trademarked term. The AP Stylebook also capitalizes it.

    So many year jumping down the woman's throat - no-one ever heard of man-whores? Man-holes?

    Posted by reindeergirl August 18, 09 02:49 PM
  1. Your falling for this girl? She sleeps with you on your first meeting; and you are lying to her. A match made in heaven. Your both perfect for each other.

    Posted by jojobobo August 18, 09 03:01 PM
  1. >

    Or how many women this skanky "rock star" slept with. Goes both ways.

    Posted by PM August 18, 09 03:06 PM
  1. #207, Ellen, you said, "You have to wonder how many other "rock stars" this dumb skank has slept with after just a beer and a burger. My advice to you is to get tested, my friend."

    LW slept with the girl after just a beer and a burger. Why isn't he the male equivalent of a "dumb skank"? Why don't you advise her to get tested?

    Several posters seem to think that the girl's a sleaze, but the guy's a clever conqueror...

    ...it may be the other way around. After all, it sounds like she got some fun sex out of it. He, poor fool, is left having to tell his troubles to Boston.com.

    Posted by TallGirl August 18, 09 03:12 PM
  1. I see a lot of people saying it's "creepy". Not creepy at all. Actually kind of funny. Is it any less shallow that she slept with the guy because she thought he was a rock star? I say chalk one up for the fellas: guys 1, dumb groupie chicks 0.

    Posted by The Dude August 18, 09 03:58 PM
  1. The only way this could get funnier is if you don't tell her. Then she'll inevitably run into you, possibly drunk and pregnant, at one of your gigs, and the look on her face will be priceless as she realizes how dumb she was for opening her legs for your lies. But even more priceless will be the look on YOUR face as you see her bump and realize that even if you're not rich and famous, if it's your DNA, you'll still have to pay. Because from the sound of it, neither one of you is smart enough to pull out a condom when the moment is right.

    Posted by Darwin help us August 19, 09 10:49 PM
  1. Easy... tell her the deal fell through, or better yet, was put "on hold. you now how this record business is..." And you are sticking it out a while more in the Boston burbs. Then see how the relationship goes... no one is the wiser.

    Posted by RR Fields August 20, 09 08:27 PM
  1. RR Fields do you know Dread Zepplin? Because after 220 comments, you got it right on the nose. That is exactly what he told me. Yes me. Good thing my roomate reads these crazy blogs and called me as soon as she read it. A few days late, but better late than never. I think this makes our story even better! Who thought this blog would blow your cover....haha! Made for a great girls night out and lots of laughs. "Rockstar" status aside, your a great guy. Thanks B. One mistake in the story...I was wearing a dress, not pants.

    Posted by weha chaquita August 21, 09 12:41 PM
  1. I have been a pro hockey player so many times and it works like a charm... Don't know how many girls have banged me when I use that line.. Women are so easy.

    Posted by Scott August 21, 09 01:02 PM
  1. See, at the end of the day, Aimee will marry me, and not you, Mr. Rockstar...

    Posted by jayluf August 21, 09 04:06 PM
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Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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