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Updates with your leftovers

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  November 26, 2010 08:00 AM

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Did you miss yesterday's updates? If so, they're here.

We have two more today.

Remember the letter from the guy whose girlfriend took a break? Here's his update:

After she came back to the states, she reneged on coming to Boston to reconcile since we were still on shaky ground and there was "nothing" here for her in Boston besides me, whereas I have my family near her. The way I saw it, she started the break, and if she wanted to end it, she should have shown some initiative. That and my general sense of feeling wronged by the whole break just led us to argue and not work on us. I eventually did see her in person by making the move, but by then her feelings had changed, and even though she said she still loves me, she can't do this right now. She doesn't want the obligation to move to me in order to close the distance; she's not ready for that type of commitment. I've never asked her too, but the distance has always been a large problem for her, and the only solution to it is in her hands. She may end up in Boston on her own since it's one of the best places for her future, but it will be for her and not us. I've gotten myself out there and have been dating, but it does feel a little dishonest since I still have feelings for her. We're all searching for the meaning of true love, but I still can't let go of the fact I may have met "the one." It most certainly is taking longer to fall out of love than it did to fall in love with her.

-- I still don't understand breaks, Cambridge

And remember the woman whose boyfriend was finding distractions on Craigslist? Here's her update:

Hi Meredith!

I wrote in about a year ago, (signed Putting On My Running Shoes), about how I had caught my boyfriend e-mailing girls he met on Craigslist. It totally broke my heart. The worst part -- after I had written the letter, gotten some great advice, and decided I was ready to talk to him, he refused to answer my calls. I completely could not believe it.

I wish I could tell you that I ended it then and there. But unfortunately once he did decide to call me, we agreed to go on a break. When the break ended, he told me he still wanted to stay together. We tried it for another month or so, but eventually he would just stop answering my calls when we fought because he knew how much it got to me. That was when I had finally had enough.

Your readers told me how much happier I would be once I broke up with him, and I couldn't understand how it could possibly be true. But FINALLY, a year older and hopefully wiser, I am so happy to say that they were right.

Recently, he has started to contact me again, telling me how much he still loves me and thinks we belong together. I have NO desire to date him again whatsoever, which is such a liberating feeling. I'm so glad that I never read what was in those emails because it probably would have destroyed any happy memories I had with him and made me regret the three-plus years we were together. Fortunately, I don't see it as something I regret ... it was a learning experience that I will always be grateful for.

I cannot thank you and your readers enough for helping me through that awful experience. Some of the comments really stuck with me over the past year, and I hope you all understand how much your words can mean to people.

Thanks again,
(No Longer) Putting On My Running Shoes

Thanks, letter writers, for updates. And see you all Monday.

– Meredith

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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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