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Updates with your turkey

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  November 25, 2010 09:14 AM

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Happy Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for you. And updates.

Remember that letter about the guy who disappeared sometimes?

Here's the update:

Hi Meredith. Since you asked for updates, I thought I would provide one for my situation.

After Houdini's disappearing act, I had a serious, things-change-or-I'm-outta-here talk with him. And after that, the situation got better. He seemed to understand how disrespectful it was to go MIA and things were going well ... until one night in August when he told me that he couldn't figure his life out, didn't know what he was going to do, and didn't want to "drag me down with him" while he figured it out. He wanted to let me go so I could find someone who could treat me like I deserved to be treated. The whole thing sounded like an early mid-life crisis and I was in shock. It was very difficult for me, but I made the decision that even if this was a rash, panicky decision on his part in response to some sort of depression or personal crisis, I could not hang around and put myself through the ups and downs any more. So I worked on healing myself and tried to move on.

It has been three months and my head has wrapped itself around the fact that the break-up was for the best. My heart is lagging behind a little, but it's slowly recovering as well. I'm single, and almost ready to mingle. And I have hope that I will meet someone who is everything I'm looking for ... and who leaves the disappearing acts to the professional magicians.

Thanks to you (and all of your loyal readers) for the advice! I hope I won't have a need for it in the future!

Sincerely,
Crazed and Confused (aka Houdini's Ex-Girl)

And remember the letter about the guy who felt like Shallow Hal? Here's an update on that.

We are still seeing each other, but we had a talk about expectations. I expressed that while I am not likely going to want anything committed with her, that I want her in my life in any capacity that she is comfortable with. She is a fantastic person, and we have bonded in a way that neither of us wants to give up on. So I put the ball in her court, and she expressed a desire to still date. We recognize that when one of us meets another person who we want to pursue, our relationship will probably settle into a friendship, and we are both cool with that.

I didn't tell her that it had anything to do with the physical attraction, so I just kept that detail to myself.

-- Wishing for Weak Knees

Interesting, right? Thoughts?

Have a good day. Really.

– Meredith

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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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