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The last updates of 2010

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  December 31, 2010 03:00 AM

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Thank you for a very good year. I will see you on Monday in 2011.

Here are some updates to close out 2010.

The first is from a woman who was crushing at work.

Hi Meredith-

I wish I had a more exciting update to give! After a few non-dates (outings involving just the two of us during which nothing romantic happened), I decided to give up on him since clearly he wasn't interested in things progressing beyond that. He got upset and didn't talk to me for a few weeks, but once he got over it, things have been good. We seem to be solidly and safely in the friend zone now and are still working together.

So my search for a partner to spend quality time with and to make quality grilled cheeses with continues!

Formerly CAW (crushing at work)

This one is from a woman who compared me to Kit from "Pretty Woman."

Hi Meredith -

Things have actually worked out on my end (so far). I took your advice and started instigating some talks about the future and, while it did take a few conversations, I started to feel more secure, and he started to express that he did want me to eventually move out there if it was what I wanted. He's been gone about three months now and while I still have my crazy moments of loneliness (usually accompanied by too much wine), he's been amazingly patient and completely open about what he's thinking about our future together. I've even started looking into jobs near his school and am hoping to head out there next fall. It definitely helped having yours and the readers feedback, so thank you so much!

I can't wait to read how other people's stories have turned out. It's so strange how exciting it is to see updates from people you don't even know, about a single story of their lives -- like someone stole the last chapter of a book and then finally let you read it.

Stolen chapters. I like that. This next update is from a woman who cleaned up everyone's messes.

Hi Meredith,

Sure, I can update you!

I decided it wasn't healthy to hang out with "Mitch" so much. I told him it would be nice if I ran into him now and then, and then made a conscious effort to spend time with other friends. Mitch moved out of state in the summer to pursue a job. I ended up dating someone else for a while, where I realized there is a healthy way to express that I like someone, and the "domestic helper" behavior doesn't come out so much when I'm in a more balanced relationship. Mitch and I still email occasionally, and I'm not dating currently because I'm too busy with work. Your and your readers' comments really helped me make a decision to change. Thank you to everyone!

Thanks so much, Meredith! I still read you every day.

And finally, an update from a letter writer who had a fear of missing out. It seems she's having her cake and consuming it, too.

Hi Meredith,

Here's my update.

I have decided to take the plunge, and leave the country to do some traveling. I came to this conclusion after several very lengthy conversations with my boyfriend. What it came down to was that I would always question myself and our relationship if I stayed. My boyfriend is not thrilled with the idea but understands where I am coming from and fully supports my decision. He has also told me that he will be here when I get back, reaffirming how much of a great guy he is. Thanks for all your advice.

Best,

Why Couldn't I Have Met Him Four Years Later, Boston

Be good tonight. Let's all think of each other at midnight, which I will be experiencing three hours later than you.

– Meredith

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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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