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Who wants a single dad?

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  March 15, 2011 09:00 AM

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Q: Hi Meredith,

I got divorced about a year ago and was released from a very unhealthy relationship. I have reached a point where I have a workable relationship with my ex, despite harboring some lingering resentment for her indiscretions and lack of respect of me. I'm getting over it -- but give a guy some time.

I am getting to the point where it is time to start looking outside myself for someone to share my life with. Herein lies the trouble. I am in my mid 30s and have three absolutely wonderful (young) kids. They spend half their time living at our home and half the time at home with their mom. They are doing well with it. I am proud to be a dad and I think I am a good guy. The challenge is that it doesn't seem that the women I'd like to date have interest in dating a successful, funny, single dad. On paper, I think I am the type of guy they are looking for -- until you get to the dad thing. What gives?

– Confounded Single Dad, North of Boston


A: What gives, CSD? You have three kids. That's what you are on paper -- a dude with three kids.

Not everybody wants to walk into that situation. And that's OK. Your dating pool is more limited than it was when you were a freewheeling guy, but in some ways, that will make the whole process easier. The dates will be few and far between, but when you do date someone, they'll have real potential.

My advice is to tell friends that you're ready to date so that they know to keep you in mind when they meet single women. Try to make new friends, maybe when you're doing activities with your kids. Expand your circle as much as possible. Then follow your own advice and "give a guy some time." It may take a while to find women who are open to someone with three kids, but again, that's OK. There's no rush. It has only been a year.

Readers? Is it going to be difficult for him to find someone who's open to three kids? How should he go about meeting a partner? Is he great on paper? Is he seeking out the wrong women? Discuss.

– Meredith


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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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