Help from Hoopz
Happy Memorial Day.
A few months ago, I did a story about Nikki "Hoopz" Alexander, Shaquille O'Neal’s feisty (and tiny) significant other. Hoopz was very funny. And she had strong opinions about love, which is why I asked her to come to the Globe and answer some short letters I couldn't get to.
I'm pretty sure that Hoopz will be reading your comments (and I imagine that Shaq probably will be, too) so let her know your take on the issues. And good luck with that last letter. It makes my head spin.
Have a good day and see you tomorrow.
-- Meredith
Q: Hi Meredith,
I'm a young (mid 20s) professional living in Boston. It should be a blast! Unfortunately, I feel tied down by a kind-of-boyfriend who lives in New York. I know that we should end things, he won't move to be with me and I won't move to be with him, but it's so hard. I do have feelings for him, I even think I might love him, but if neither of us is willing to change anything then the relationship will never work. My question isn't should we break up since I know the answer is yes, but how to do it without hurting his feelings? I've known this guy for many years and I hate thinking that I might be the reason he is unhappy if I break his heart. Please help!
– In a New York State of Mind
Q: I've recently moved to Boston and LL has become a daily go to for me. Background: I am a 22-year-old single girl who recently graduated college. I have a great job, a great group of friends and I have just been having a lot of fun in the city. I recently met a guy who I've been out with a couple of times and I am really starting to like him. There is a strong connection between the two of us and we always seem to have fun together. What's the problem? Well my question is: When is it too soon to sleep with him? College life and the real world are two very different lifestyles. I am not sure what is appropriate. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea about me by sleeping with him too soon but I also am attracted to him. I would love and appreciated any advice you and the readers have.
– Timing is Everything
Q: For the past two months or so, I've been dating this girl. We have a lot of similar interests, we have a lot of fun together, and I've already began to gain feelings for her. And, of course, they're mutual feelings. So here's the thing … I’m 29 and she's 18.
She pushed and pushed for us to talk and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was a teacher at the school she went to (and no longer goes to), and I just held back (at first). She kept pushing for me to just simply talk to her, and I finally let my guard down without any intentions of feelings developing feelings. And then I did. Do I tell my parents that I'm dating an 18-year-old girl? Will this affect my career as someone who is well known in his community (constantly working with kids through schooling and sports)? Do I worry about what other people are going to say and how they might judge me?
She's not your typical 18-year-old girl, which is why I care about her in the first place. When we're together I can't tell there's an age difference, and that's got to mean something.
– Too Young?, Massachusetts
Recent blog posts
Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a new novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith here and on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.
