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Help from Hoopz

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  May 30, 2011 08:02 AM

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Happy Memorial Day.

A few months ago, I did a story about Nikki "Hoopz" Alexander, Shaquille O'Neal’s feisty (and tiny) significant other. Hoopz was very funny. And she had strong opinions about love, which is why I asked her to come to the Globe and answer some short letters I couldn't get to.

I'm pretty sure that Hoopz will be reading your comments (and I imagine that Shaq probably will be, too) so let her know your take on the issues. And good luck with that last letter. It makes my head spin.

Have a good day and see you tomorrow.

-- Meredith


Q: Hi Meredith,

I'm a young (mid 20s) professional living in Boston. It should be a blast! Unfortunately, I feel tied down by a kind-of-boyfriend who lives in New York. I know that we should end things, he won't move to be with me and I won't move to be with him, but it's so hard. I do have feelings for him, I even think I might love him, but if neither of us is willing to change anything then the relationship will never work. My question isn't should we break up since I know the answer is yes, but how to do it without hurting his feelings? I've known this guy for many years and I hate thinking that I might be the reason he is unhappy if I break his heart. Please help!

– In a New York State of Mind






Q: I've recently moved to Boston and LL has become a daily go to for me. Background: I am a 22-year-old single girl who recently graduated college. I have a great job, a great group of friends and I have just been having a lot of fun in the city. I recently met a guy who I've been out with a couple of times and I am really starting to like him. There is a strong connection between the two of us and we always seem to have fun together. What's the problem? Well my question is: When is it too soon to sleep with him? College life and the real world are two very different lifestyles. I am not sure what is appropriate. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea about me by sleeping with him too soon but I also am attracted to him. I would love and appreciated any advice you and the readers have.

– Timing is Everything








Q: For the past two months or so, I've been dating this girl. We have a lot of similar interests, we have a lot of fun together, and I've already began to gain feelings for her. And, of course, they're mutual feelings. So here's the thing … I’m 29 and she's 18.

She pushed and pushed for us to talk and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was a teacher at the school she went to (and no longer goes to), and I just held back (at first). She kept pushing for me to just simply talk to her, and I finally let my guard down without any intentions of feelings developing feelings. And then I did. Do I tell my parents that I'm dating an 18-year-old girl? Will this affect my career as someone who is well known in his community (constantly working with kids through schooling and sports)? Do I worry about what other people are going to say and how they might judge me?

She's not your typical 18-year-old girl, which is why I care about her in the first place. When we're together I can't tell there's an age difference, and that's got to mean something.

– Too Young?, Massachusetts


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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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