< Back to front page Text size +

I believe that children are our future

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  August 5, 2011 08:00 AM

E-mail this article

Invalid E-mail address
Invalid E-mail address

Sending your article

Here's the advice for today's letter writer from our high school interns.

The first response you'll read is from Takara Jacques, a 17-year-old who's in the middle of a school transfer, so she doesn’t know where she's going next year. The second is from James Onuigbo, a 17-year-old who goes to the Boston Community Leadership Academy.

Enjoy. Be nice.


A: Well, off the bat, I'm going to say that no, there is nothing wrong with you for being over him so quickly.

You said yourself he brought you more unhappiness then happiness. Once you realized that, you were already starting to get over him. It gave you a bit of a head start on the whole "post-relationship grief period." Not to mention the fact that you'd already broken up with him once.

There was no love in the relationship. Why feel guilty about talking to someone new? Your single and you have the right to date. This man is no longer in your life so don't let him continue to bring you unhappiness. Now if you do want to take some time and really think about whether or not you still have feelings for him, it’s understandable. But whether you still do or not, he doesn't trust you, not to mention he purposely insults you, which could mean he has issues of his own to deal with. Not only that, if he could find it anywhere in his heart to say anything hurtful to you, then he can’t truly love you as well as someone else could.

It doesn't seem like you two are a good match. I don’t advise you to get back with him and I see no reason you should have to grieve over him for any amount of time. I advise and encourage you to move on. I also advise you to choose your next boyfriend a little more carefully so you don't end up making the same mistakes again.

– Takara



A: Well, by all means, if you really are able to get over your ex-boyfriend that quickly maybe you never really should have dated him in the first place. If you are ready to get into a relationship then go for it, but you should take it slow and not rush it. There's nothing wrong with you at all. You probably are just really trying to regroup after your terrible past relationship. You should take your time and get to know the next man you’re interested in inside out. Another reason why you probably are getting over your ex is because this is only your second relationship, so you probably haven't really experienced true feelings yet. (No offense.) I don't think you should put a "time" on how long you should wait. My advice is to just take your time and don't rush anything. Patience is key.

– James



E-mail this article

Invalid E-mail address
Invalid E-mail address

Sending your article

 
ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

Ask us a question

Required
Required
archives