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Picking up a blogger

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  October 21, 2011 06:05 AM

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When I first read this letter, I assumed it was about me.
Because wouldn't you?
Well, it's not about me, which makes it a real question, so let's help. If you are a blogger, please tell us what you'd want to hear.
(Yes, my ego has recovered.)


Q: Hello Meredith,

I'm a 29 year old guy, single for about a year, gainfully employed and getting a Master's degree part-time. I consider myself a pretty good catch, but obviously I might be a bit biased.

I recently stumbled upon the blog of a Boston girl. Not only is she absolutely stunning, but we seem to have very similar sense of humors and interests. To top it all off, she is super intelligent, which I readily admit is a huge turn on for me.

I have spent the past few days browsing her old postings (which only make her more attractive) and I can't imagine she has any problem finding guys who would fall at her feet. I consider myself a pretty creative person but find myself drawing a total blank as to how not to come across as the "creepy reader." What can I do/say in this situation?

– Admiring the Blogger from Afar, Boston


A: The first thing I want you to do is figure out whether you really want to know what this woman is like in real life. If your crush is on a fantasy version of her that you've created based on what she writes, you're basically in love with a unicorn. Sometimes letting a unicorn remain a unicorn is good for the soul. Know that if you actually get to date this unicorn, she might turn out to be a horse with a horn glued to her head. Does that make sense?

If you want to risk turning a unicorn into a horse, here's my advice:

1. Make yourself Google-able. Don't send an email from a random address without your first and last name. Make it easy for her to look you up so that she can see that you're not a weirdo. You can even message her on Facebook so that she sees your profile (assuming that you're on Facebook).

2. Be specific about why her writing appeals to you. Don't just say, "You’re super smart on your blog." Say, "I love that time you advised a woman to walk away from a guy who impregnated some random one-night stand." (Yeah, yeah, I know we're not talking about me. I'm just giving you an example.)

3. Send one note and leave it at that. Be nice. Succinct. Not too clever. Then let it go. If she writes back, feel free to ask her a question to keep the conversation going, but don't get too aggressive.

4. Know that writing to someone on a blog is no different than hitting on someone at a bar or party. You like what you see. You get good vibes. You don't know whether the person is even single. But ... it's worth a shot. It's no creepier than making a pass in real life.

Please keep me posted. I want to know what happens.

Everyone? Thoughts?

– Meredith


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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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