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Thanksgiving Updates -- Part 1

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  November 24, 2011 08:39 AM

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Have a very happy Thanksgiving.
Here are some updates.
There will be a few more tomorrow.

This first update is from a guy who was choosing between women.

Soon after I wrote in, I made a choice between the two. I was very open with the one who I did not continue to see. I told her that I liked her very much but wanted to pursue something with someone else and the timing just didn't work out for us. She was very gracious and actually encouraged me to look her up in the future should things not work out for me. I dated the other one until very recently. Both of our work schedules became more demanding and it became clear that something was missing in the relationship as neither of us was making enough of an effort to adapt our schedules to the other even when there were opportunities to do so. Thus, despite having two excellent prospects during the summer, I am once again single heading into the holiday season. I have toyed around with the idea of contacting the other woman, but I feel like there was something instinctive that kept me from choosing her in the first place and that I would be better off trying to start something from scratch. I'm currently trying to decide if I want to wade back into online dating or not, but have not yet made a decision.

Thanks for the advice and I hope you have a great Thanksgiving,

The next update is from someone who also was making choices.

I ended up having to move home last fall to help an ailing family member. I wasn't able to move out until this summer and I now live in Somerville. (I love it.)

After a lot of giant commutes, the guy and I still managed to keep it together. I did search for jobs up in his area but had no luck on the job search, and we had decided that I should have a job up there before making the giant move. I had absolutely no luck on the job front.

When I could finally leave my family's house and the time came for me to move out, we decided together that it was best for me to live my own life, in the Boston area. We both cried and both were heartbroken but it really was truly for the best. We are still close, and talk on the phone a couple times a week.

Now I'm back on the singles scene, and while I miss him, I love my new place and the "single gal" life.

Thank you so much for your advice, and your readers advice as well. I'm a huge fan of LL, and I read everyday. :)

And now a happy update.

I'm seeing a sweet, adorable, cuddly, and funny guy who I met through one of my roommates. We've only been dating for a few months so who knows where it will go, but right now I'm really enjoying myself.

He shares my love of writing, Joss Whedon, and all things New England. He introduced me to the awesomeness that is My Little Pony. We laugh ourselves silly. And we've even adopted the "pun snuggle" from How I Met Your Mother!

I feel so lucky and amazed, but also grounded--it just feels right.

Thank you again to all the LL commenters who provided support and encouragement!

~Snuggly (formerly Speechless) in Somerville

And ... a closure update.

So I broke up with the crazy controlling cheating girlfriend early this year. A couple months later I actually asked out a girl who is friends with my best friend's wife. We started dating and officially became a couple a couple months later. Now we're still happily together, going on 9 months now I think. We both love each other and we can see each other in our futures. But most importantly, we're both good for each other. I'm glad that I can update with some good news.

And last but not least, an update of a recent letter.

The update is that she did ask me out again and we had a lengthy conversation, or rather several.

Since we were close pals before things started, we know enough about each other that me merely saying "No thanks" was the equivalent of somebody saying "No comment" when that alone would say volumes.

I got to talk about how she shocked me with her behavior, she got to tell me how it wasn't that bad, and challenged who was I to judge?

In the end, we're pals again. It feels a lot better talking as friends versus not really talking.

Perhaps we will end up dating formally, right now spending time together and talking could be called dating, but we're not even going to first base.

That's all I got.

I think a lot of the comments from the advice givers were very helpful, and I expected no less. Thanks to all.

Ok. Now go eat. -- Meredith


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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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