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Are we bored of each other?

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  July 26, 2012 08:12 AM

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Commonwealth Shakespeare Company week at Love Letters continues.

Today's letter will be performed as a monologue by actress Esme Allen, who plays Virgilia in the Free Shakespeare on the Common production of "Coriolanus." Enjoy.

The original letter and my answer are below.



Q: Hi Meredith,

I'm in my mid-to-late 20s and have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. We live together and are happily in love. We have discussed marriage and both seem ready to settle down. However, there is one thing that is bugging me: Our relationship has evolved from full-out infatuation to daily-routine comfortable.

What I mean is that there used to be a time when we would say "I love you" at the end of every phone call and make out just for the sake of making out. Now we give each other little pecks in the morning when we head off to work. It reminds me of my parents and other older couples who have been together for many years. But we're only at year two!

This hasn't affected anything in the bedroom (thankfully!) but it has me wondering about other things. Is this an attraction issue or are we just too convenient to each other?

I keep telling myself that we're growing up together, but is it possible that we're actually growing tired of each other?

– Growing Old Together Too Soon?, Mass.


A: You're still having fun in the bedroom? And you have a nice, comfortable daily routine? All of this sounds pretty good to me.

It's been two years. Infatuation doesn't last forever. If your boyfriend is still the guy you want to talk to (and sleep with) at the end of the day, you're good. You seem to be focusing on what your relationship has lost and ignoring all that it's gained.

Some of this romantic stuff is in your hands. You want to make out for no reason? Initiate. You want to feel smitten all over again? Plan a date or a trip. Rent a romantic movie.

You're not growing old together, you're just growing. You say that you're "happily in love." That's your answer.

Readers? Does the letter writer understand what "happily in love" looks like? Does the letter writer have anything to worry about? After two years, should there be making out for no reason? Are they too comfortable too soon? Help.


– Meredith



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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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