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She wants her stuff back

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  October 25, 2012 06:40 AM

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Q: Hey Meredith!

My ex-girlfriend decided to contact me after 7 months of nothing. We dated for a year, and we both decided things were not working out about 10 months ago. Sure, I reached out a couple times to see if we could re-kindle, but she told me she needed space and I politely granted that to her. We stayed in contact here and there for a couple months through text, but we have not seen each other in months. I have pretty much moved on and have been going on dates.

Last week, she decides to email me out of the blue to say she is moving away. It turns out she met a guy during a vacation and has decided to move to be with him. The reason she was contacting me was to see if we could meet up for a transfer of items left behind at one another's place. I left some clothing there. She left a few things at my place ... nothing of any serious value, honestly speaking. I offered to give those things back to her the last time we saw each other, but she declined and said it was not a big deal. Now she is demanding her stuff back. We wound up on the phone for an hour talking about this and catching up. And now I've also seen a picture of this new guy. (Thank you, Facebook). He's significantly older and has a child. What does this mean? If anything at all ...

– What Gives?, Mass.


A: What gives, my friend, is that your ex-girlfriend wants her stuff back. I understand that you were on the phone with her for an hour, but that doesn't mean much. It was just a catch-up. She knows that you've been waiting in the wings for months and she hasn't pursued it.

Offer to mail her the stuff. Send it and be done. Also, get rid of her on Facebook. You don't need to see those pictures.

I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you this meant something interesting, but it doesn't. Maybe this guy is wrong for her (who knows?), but it doesn't mean that you're her Mr. Right. Keep dating and let her go.

Readers? Is she messing with him? What should he do? How do you handle the items left behind? Help.


– Meredith


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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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