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Met a girl in Canada

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  January 15, 2013 07:41 AM

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In LA this week. It's very early here.


Q: Hi Meredith,

I was up in in Canada for New Year's Eve and met a girl a little after midnight. We immediately hit it off and ended up going back to her place, but we both agreed to hold off on sleeping with each other. We were up until 6 a.m. just talking and getting to know each other. We definitely still connected physically and had a lot of chemistry and both agreed that we've never had this sort of synergy right off the bat before.

I recently got out of a long-term relationship (September) and she had one end last winter. I'm finally over my ex, so I don't see this as an issue, but it's still fairly recent. To complicate matters more, I'm planning on moving to Thailand in April to teach English there for 10 months. I was upfront with this woman about my plans and she said she would love to come and visit me.

I think we both realize that this is going to take a pretty strong commitment from the both of us. I get that she lives hours away, but at the same time, I've never felt this way about someone so quickly. I'm 27 and have been through three different long-term relationships in my life and dated several others; I'd like to think of myself as a seasoned veteran at this point. In the end, I want to settle down and get married at some point before I'm 30, but the singles scene has gotten a little old for me.

Am I crazy to try and make this happen? Do I give it a shot? I realize it was only a night, but this girl seems like she fits a lot of my criteria and that the stars aligned for us to meet that night. I don't believe in fate, but this kind of makes me think that it's possible ...

– Stars Aligned in Toronto, Mass.


A: It wasn't fate, SAIT, but you're excited about this woman and that's cool. It's certainly worth seeing her again to check in on that "synergy."

I find it interesting that despite wanting to get married within the next few years, you've planned a 10-month trip to Thailand. Do you really want to find a partner and settle down by 30? If so, how?

I'd spend the next few months crossing the Canadian border (not a euphemism) and thinking about where you want to be in life and how you can get there. I don't object to Thailand -- it would be a fantastic experience, I'm sure -- but I have to wonder whether the trip was planned in haste after your recent breakup. You say that you're finally over your ex. What do you want to do with yourself now that you're in a better place? Please know that you can always change your mind.

Readers? If you live in Massachusetts and meet a woman in Canada right before you move to Thailand, is it really fate? Should he go to Thailand? Should he consider this new love interest? Thoughts? What's happening here? Help.


– Meredith



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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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