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Will he give me another chance?

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  May 22, 2013 08:43 AM

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We'll chat at 1. Finally.


Q: Hi Meredith,

I have a bit of an issue. I am a senior in college, soon to be moving to D.C. When I was looking for jobs in D.C. I stayed with a friend I have known since childhood. While out one night, I met one of his friends and we instantly hit it off. We like the same music, shows, have the same aspirations in life, and he is extremely close to his family, as am I. He also makes me laugh like no other, and we have the same humor and outlook on life. I have never felt that type of connection with anyone before. After I left D.C. that weekend, we began texting, emailing, and Skyping constantly every day. He asked me to visit D.C. again two months later and I did. We had had an amazing weekend (or so I thought), holding hands, getting dinner, etc.

I left and all of a sudden he started acting weird. He didn't text me or call me the whole day when I got home, and the rest of the week we barely talked. I finally asked him what was up, and he told me that he thought some of the conversation was forced when I came to visit the second time, and he just thought it wasn't the same as before.

So here I am in limbo. It might also help to add that I am moving to D.C. this summer, and am very close with my friend that is also his best friend, so I will most likely be seeing him often. What do I do? Do I ask him to give me another shot? I am heartbroken over someone who I really thought was the one. I want to be with him, but it just seems he is completely over it I guess.

– Lost in Translation, NY


A: Don't beg for another shot, LIT. You shouldn't have to convince this guy that you're worth his time. You have too much to do right now. Be selfish and focus on your move.

I'm sure that your two weekends and Skype sessions were great, but you barely got to know him. I believe that you fell for him quickly because he made your big move to D.C. seem a lot less scary. You fantasized about having a new life with a boyfriend who was already waiting for you. It was a nice thought, but you're making this life change on your own. It's a bold move and it's all yours. And frankly, when you get down there, you might be thrilled to have your options open.

My advice is to tell him that you're disappointed but that you understand. Focus on your new home, and if you happen to see him in D.C. (and you will), let him worry about whether you'll give him another shot.

You're allowed to be a little bit heartbroken, but shake it off. You don't have time to let this guy bring you down.

Readers? Should she ask him for another chance? What happened here? Help.

– Meredith



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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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