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He can't keep a job

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  February 28, 2014 08:33 AM

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I feel like we keep getting bummed out letters from Florida.


Q: Hey Meredith

I am writing today to ask advice about my long-term boyfriend. I've been with him for almost seven years, and generally we have had a great relationship. He's an amazing guy and I love him very much but he has a huge flaw -- he is a very smart person but has always had a hard time keeping a job. He is constantly quitting and having long periods of joblessness, and I have been supporting him for the majority of the time we've been together! I feel like he isn't even trying anymore and I can't watch him continue to throw his life away. I'm 25 and I am ready to move on with my life and get my education, but he just wants to do nothing. I've tried everything I can think of -- nagging, discussions, threats, deadlines, etc. -- and nothing has worked. Is it time to call it quits? I just don't know what to do.

– Not Working, Gainesville, Fla.


A: Time to move on. This guy has become your dependent, and that's not the kind of relationship you want. You started dating as teens and had no idea what kind of adult he'd become, but now you do, and you guys just aren't a match.

I understand that ditching him is easier said than done because you probably can't imagine life without him (he's basically been around forever), but please know that the anticipation of change is often scarier than change itself. And it is so clear that you're ready for what's next.

Readers? Validation? Any reason to stay? Discuss.

– Meredith



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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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