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He's leaving the country

Posted by Meredith Goldstein  March 20, 2014 08:15 AM

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Q: Hello Meredith,

I met the man of my dreams a few months ago on an online dating site. The communication, honesty, attraction, romance, and chemistry are all there. Everything is telling me that we are meant to be together. It's like I "just know" -- I can't explain it. I'm falling madly in love with him and the feeling that I get when I'm around him is the most beautiful, fulfilling feeling I have ever known. The only problem is that he recently told me he might be moving out of the country for his career. He is not sure when he will be leaving. I am so torn about what to do.

Do I spend more time with him and grow more attached or cut all ties now? There is a chance that he could change his mind or that something will cause him to stay, which is why I don't want to give up all hope just yet. We are so happy when we are together and have so much fun. I have so much faith in us. But I do feel like time was stolen from us. I don't deserve to have him taken away from me. I have so much love to give and I care about him so much. Is being committed to him the wrong thing to do right now? Am I stupid to continue seeing him and risk having my heart broken if he leaves? Should I move on and date other people?

– Running Out of Time, Boston


A: Keep dating him. It's too early to know what's going to happen, and frankly, in a few more months, you might have a better idea of who he is and whether you're really as compatible as you think you are. The language in your letter suggests that you're in a rose-colored honeymoon phase where everything is a perfect mix of rainbows and cupcakes. It seems worth getting to know him better so you know what's what.

Just let him know what you're doing so that he understands. Tell him that you want to keep dating because you're open to all possibilities for the future (breaking up, staying together, building up frequent flyer miles, etc.). If he's open to all possibilities too, you might as well allow yourself this experience and hope for the best.

Readers? Should she bail? Is this relationship doomed? Is his impending departure making the relationship seem more romantic than it is? Help.


– Meredith



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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS: Welcome to Love Letters, the place for love advice (giving and getting). Globe relationship columnist Meredith Goldstein and Boston.com readers are ready to take your letters and tell you what's what. Have a question? Click here to submit or email us at loveletters@boston.com.
Blogger Meredith Goldstein

Meredith Goldstein is a Boston Globe columnist who follows relationship trends and entertainment. She offers daily advice on Love Letters — and welcomes your comments. Meredith is also the author of "The Singles," a novel about complicated relationships. Follow Meredith at www.meredithgoldstein.netand on Twitter. Love Letters can be found in the print edition of The Boston Globe every Saturday in the G section.

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