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Love Letters

Regretting the breakup

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Q: I am a 29-year-old male. I broke up with my girlfriend back in August, and ever since then I have missed her dreadfully and I know that she is the love of my life. I've dated a couple of girls short-term since the breakup and none of them come close to the way I felt and still feel about my ex-girlfriend. To give you a little more insight, we broke up because I said that I was unhappy and she sort of felt the same way. But we both made a point to tell each other we still loved each other, and I know she loves me very much. I have texted her from time to time and have spilled the beans about how much I've missed her and love her. I know maybe that wasn't a good idea but I couldn't stop myself from not doing it. She listens to me and has replied to my text/calls in the past, but now nothing at all. I feel so miserable without her. I KNOW that she is the love of my life and I have told her that if I had one wish, it would be to change our course back then. I dreadfully miss and love her so much. I don't know what to do...

– Missing Her, Illinois


A: If you told her that you want to get back together and she hasn't taken you up on your offer, there's nothing you can do besides mourn the loss and get over it. (Sorry.)

The thing is, you dumped her in August because you were unhappy, and that decision probably wasn't made on a whim. How long had you been unhappy? Why did you want to be single?

Maybe you thought you'd meet someone better and that just hasn't happened yet. That's no reason to romanticize your ex. If she were really the love of your life, you probably wouldn't have been so quick to ditch her last summer.

It's clear that you miss her, but some of your desperation is about not wanting to be alone. Spend some time remembering why you made the decision to leave her last year. You were both unhappy. She was not the love of your life back then.

Readers? Is she the love of his life? Is this about missing her or being alone? What should he do next? Help.


– Meredith



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